Whoa. This thread kind of blew up...both in a good and bad way. Man, Tallulah, lord I love you. Love luv LAHV you!
So here's the thing, after I've read and skimmed through the rest of the thread, I've decided how I truly felt about JWR: It was a safe haven. I never met anyone face to face, although a few of us attempted to meet up in the ATL, but I felt close to most everyone I interacted with. It's kind of like, when you go to school or a large gathering, you always meet up with the same group of people, at the same place, because your personalities work so well together, and that's just how it is. No matter where else you go, you don't feel as welcome and at home as you do when you're with your friends at your usual spot. No one else gets your inside jokes or knows your background, or why you wear that certain ring, why you're not wearing that certain necklace anymore, etc. You don't have to explain to anyone how you're feeling that day or why, because your friends already know.
That was JWR to me.
The tiny community we had there was comforting. I may not have been the most welcoming to newbies, but I did my best to engage and not let them feel like outsiders in "my clique". We're all here for the same reason, recovery, camaraderie, support, entertainment, and above all, love. Stepping into JWD feels like I'm a little peon, a savage, stepping into a new world where no one knows my name or story or the hell I've been through and keep trudging through. It's hard and scary. Losing JWR is like a kick to the gut, because I'm no longer someone who (I think) others feel has any valid reason to comment. I'm just a newb that probably won't contribute anything useful in the community...at least that's how I believe I'm seen. No matter how I try, I'll still be that little girl in the group of older girls trying so hard to be heard, but only talked over and ignored in the end. At JWR, I felt like I could contribute and mean something to the other members. I felt like my words could really help, or make someone think. Here...I'm nothing but a name and a 1x1 thumbnail picture.
That's why I'm upset that it was just, shut down. It's like a repeat in my life: Nope. Shut down. No chance to save it. No chance to voice an opinion. Just, shut up and deal.
I hope I can be a thriving member on JWD and be accepted and contribute good things.