Thank-you Beck!
I've come to the conclusion that I've got to keep my distance from my sister-in-law. I'll send her a card and tell her how sorry I was to hear about her brother. I've tryed to interact in a civil way with my j.w. siblins, but I find it too diffult to handle. I find that my emotional state of mind is alot healthier when I keep my distance. To me, they are all in their own little world and I just want to grab them and shake them!!!!!!!!! My siblins, j.w. and non j.w. pretty much split when our parents passed.
My father was a abusive mean man.
My mother drowned herself in the org.
I feared him and failed her.
It has been a life changing experience to finally after my whole life, being raised the way I was, to finally understand everything so clearly. To realize that what you thought to be the truth your whole life, to find out that you've been living in the never never land. To able to forgive your father for taking his life. To learn my limitations and learn how and when to say NO, has been a freedom and sense of peace that cannot put into words.
It's 5 months and 2 weeks and 4 days since my sister-in-laws, brother took his life, it is when the people have stopped sending food, it is when the phone has stopped ringing, it is when people stop dropping in, it's when you find yourself all by yourself and it hits you like a ton of bricks that paralizes you. All the emotions of grief that comes with someones suicide. Deep saddness, anger, quilt, asking why, why, why, denial, shock, you still can't believe this has happened. The fog has turned into reality and you've woken from your bad dream. That's when I'll send her a card. From out of the blue.
I know how the org. frowns upon professial help. I know that personally. I fear that she wont get the proper help in dealing with this. She has suffered a serious trama to her nervous system! She's a pioneer and my brother is a elder. For some reason, I don't see them seeking help outside the org.
