Posts by Tinkerbell4125

16

Remind Your Relatives To Shun You!

by metatron in

jw
friends

look, i get confused!.

the problem is that witnesses these days are often so uninvolved and lacking in real friendship that i don't know if they're.

shunning me or not!

Tinkerbell4125

I have j.w. siblins that actually talk to some of my disfellowshiped and *faded away* ex j.w. siblins. I think the reason that they don't talk to me is because of my stand on the Silent Lamb issue. It put me in the catagory of an apostate. I've never had a problem of speaking my mind and they are threatened by that. I think some of my ex j.w. siblins keep their mouth shut about the hovah witnits, out of respect for our die-hard j.w mother that has passed away. My j.w. siblins will speak to them, but they don't do lunch. There comes a point when you just let it all go. It's just too unhealthy and toxic to deal with anymore. It's their loss for sure!

One thing for sure, love is thicker than blood and I've found that love in many friends. I am truly blessed with some great friends and a loving husband. I also have some loving family left, and I realize that some people don't even have that, so I am thankful for what I do have.

I'm thankful for you guys too! I hope you all know that! You've pulled me up off the floor many times!

39

Remembering September 11, 2001

by UnDisfellowshipped in

remembering 9-11-01:.

i encourage everyone who wants to, just to post their own personal memories and experiences of 9-11-01 here.. also, here are a few things you may want to look at:.

http://september11th.com/silence.htm.

Tinkerbell4125

9-11 was so devastating. I remember CC calling me and telling me to turn the t.v. on. I was glued all day. Total disbelief. I saw the second plane hit the tower. I actually jumped out of my chair! I still can't belive it. My heart hurts for the surviving families. We all know this is a tough time for them.

39

Something I've never told you........

by Tinkerbell4125 in

jw
friends

i've really been struggling over the past few months.

when craig and i got married, i didn't invite my dad to my wedding.

six weeks later he takes his life.

Tinkerbell4125

This morning I sit down at my computer and I can't believe all the replies!

I've read every word to every post and words can't come close to justifying my appreciation. I will really take to heart each and every word you said. It means more than you'll ever know. In the past, I have attended a support group for suvivors of suicide. Since I am approaching the anniversary, I will go back for awhile. The grief for this is so intense, it makes it hard to deal with it. I've always taken great pride in being strong. Through my life I have endured many tough things and always, ALWAYS picked myself up, dusted myself off, and started back up full speed ahead. I want people to know that if they are depressed or hurting, that you can get help. When you take your own life, you change the lives of those around you forever. Sometimes it's unbearable.

Cruz, I am sorry to hear that you have gone through this too. My dad shot himself too. He walked into the living room and told mom that he was *sick and tired of being sick and tired* and put the pistol to his head. My mother aged 10 years that night and to know that he did that in front of her is something that I will never *get over*. I watched him die later in the intensive care unit. . I hate what it's done to me. I would love to talk to you too sometimes, not just about our fathers, but on other things too. There's just something about knowing the other person has been through the same thing you have.

Bebu, I never looked at forgivness as a gift before. That is great advice something that I will definately strive to do.

Lady Lee will you adopt me? =:o)

Myself, we go back a long way. I'm sorry I didn't show up to Noidea's party at the 101st Airborne Resturant. Can we hook up at the next j.w meet-up. I haven't been in a long time. WorldyGirl went last week, but I haven't heard how it went. Can we try to hook up soon for grill out or something? I really would like to catch up on things.

You guys are too much! I do feel better today, *with your help*. Thank you all again!

Tink

39

Something I've never told you........

by Tinkerbell4125 in

jw
friends

i've really been struggling over the past few months.

when craig and i got married, i didn't invite my dad to my wedding.

six weeks later he takes his life.

Tinkerbell4125

I've really been struggling over the past few months.

When Craig and I got married, I didn't invite my dad to my wedding. Six weeks later he takes his life. Now I realize that he didn't kill himself because of that one thing, but I do feel like it contributed to his suicide. It continues to haunt me. At that time, I felt that my reasoning for not invited him was justified, but now, I wish I had done things so differently. It kills me to think of how he might have felt while me and the rest of the family were celebrating my wedding. I know it really had to hurt him. I had resentment towards him for the abuse my siblins and I recieved from him growing up. Even though we were on civil terms when he died, I still had and have alot of anger towards him. I am so fustrated that I am approaching the 7th anniversary of his suicide and I still suffer like I do. When does this stop! I feel I haven't even addressed my mothers death because I'm so busy struggling with dads death. I feel the wts played a hugh roll in his suicide. The j.w's treating him like crap because he was the *worldly* husband. Mom was a j.w. Craig tells me I've come a long way, that I can't see how far I've come, but when I get in these waves of emotions, it's difficult to see that.

Why can't I forgive myself! Why can't I forgive HIM! Why can't I just accept that I CANNOT control everything in this life! I'm sorry to dump all this on you all.

I know this may be very difficult for some of you to read and for that, I am sorry. I don't mean to upset anyone, but I know a few people here have lost someone to suicide. I know all too well what a unpleasant subject suicide is.

I feel that all those around me feel that I should be well over all this! I may be wrong, but it's something that is never brought up. I feel so along in my grief sometimes.
I just get so tired of putting on a happy face, when deep down inside I am suffering so.

Sorry for being such a downer. It's just a tough time right now. Thanks for letting me get it out and venting.

Tink

56

HELP!!! HELP!!!! HELP!!!!!!

by proudassmonkey in

jw
friends

ok i need some help from who ever has dealt w. their jw parents.

this is the email i got from my parents: .

dear melissa, .

Tinkerbell4125

I got the same letter from my mother in 1985. Brought back how it made me feel, so I know how you feel. Looking back, I can see where I wish I had handled things differently. You've recieved alot of great advice here! I agree with the comment where someone said that it wasn't you are your parents that were making this decision, but the wts. After years of being angry and acting out my fustrations, I realized that I was looking at it the wrong way. I would ask myself, *how can they believe that crap*, but now I realize that it's not weather or not they can believe all that, but rather, that they do! They simply don't have control over their own thinking. Yes, it's sad. And now, without sounding arrogant, I feel sorry for them now. I regret that it has to be this way, but I've learned to accept it. You have to be true to yourself. If you can look at them with pity, you can actully have compassion for them instead of pain and fustration. Reading your parents letter really showed how the wts has it's clutches on them! I think they are die hard j.w.s and they wont change and argueing with them would be a waste of time. Only make it worse. It would really upset me when my j.w. family would ignore me at different times. Now that I'm out of the borg and realize that it's a cult, it's easy for me to feel sorry for them now. If they choose not to speak to me, then fine. I can't control that and I don't care anymore, I can't care anymore, I don't have the desire, nor the energy. My mother died in 1999, still a die hard j.w. She did allow me to visit her towards the end. I had to realize that it was tough on her too, but in her mind, she was being loyal to Jehovah, doing the right thing. But in order for them to respect my views, in turn, I really had to accept theirs. Agree to disagree. You've got to remember that when the j.w.'s act like this, it gives them a sense of power. Power in turn, makes you feel important, a false sense of self asteem. *years of therapy* =;o)

You have alot of support here! I sure wish I had the internet in 1985! Knowing that others out there have been through the same things and survived, gives you strength to get through it. I hope I've been alittle help to you. My heart goes out to you and I'm sending you a big cyber hug. You hang in there. You WILL make it through this! Be good to yourself and give yourself what you don't get from them!

Sending you love and support....Tink

63

I am so hurt. JW friend has disowned me :-(

by Hamas in

jw
friends

i got to hear some real bad news

i was speaking to my 'best friends' sister only minutes ago.

my 'best friend' i used to do everything with.

Tinkerbell4125

Hamas, I really liked what Odrade posted! You never know that one day our loved ones will leave the org. I haven't given up hope for my family, but I will say this...over time it gets eaiser. I can actually be around my j.w. family and it doesn't bother me. After awhile, I learned to accept it. It hasn't been easy, by no means, but now I just don't care anymore.

We learn to form new family and a new circle of friends. See, I've just made one in you!!!

98

JW Father Kills Self and 12-year-old Son

by fjtoth in

the following story appears this morning in the south florida sun-sentinel at:.

http://www.sun-sentinel.com/news/local/southflorida/sfl-cmurdsui26aug26,1,2987431.story?coll=sfla-home-headlines.

fort lauderdale police suspect father killed son, then self in home shooting.

Tinkerbell4125

The article asked why did this happens. I'll tell you why. It's because people are suffering from depression and their not getting treated for it. Depression is a disease, like cancer or any other illness, and untreated, it is deadly. Untreated depression is what caused my father to complete suicide.

People better start taking this seriously. I wish I had. Unless you've lived this nightmare, you just don't even have a clue to how it effects you the rest of your life. Needless to say, you are changed forever, never the same again. It's been 7 years since my dad took his life. I've done the therapy thing, counceling thing, anti-depressant thing, group thing, even a internet suicide support group, this is something that no amount of threrapy will cure you off. You have to learn to live with the fact that a loved one took their life and in some way, you could have had a play in it, or could have stopped it, the worst guilt trip a person could ever be on.

To this day, I still have nightmares about that night. My heart goes out to their families. I know the hell that they are living now.

2

JW Suicide teaching - a legacy of no compassion

by Noumenon in

w54 5/1 pp.

285-286 questions from readers

inasmuch as suicide is self-murder, the same view may be taken of it as of murder.

Tinkerbell4125

They obviously have never watched a loved one *my father* die of a self inflicted gun shot wound to the head. I always heard growing up as a j.w. that God *Jehovah* would not put on you more than you could bare. That's a load of crap.

27

Suppose You Said "I Forgive the Watchtower"?

by metatron in

you may be confronted with relatives and witness friends who annoy you, with self-righteous comments about "coming back.

to the 'truth' and other judgemental urgings.. suppose you replied "i forgive the watchtower society for the terrible things they've done, i need to do that so i can progess as a. spiritual person".. such a response might be very disarming - and difficult to counter.. witnesses generally reject the notion that the watchtower can ever do anything wrong - rationalizing that any cruelties they.

inflict are somehow part of a greater divine purpose.

Tinkerbell4125

Forgive them? Forgive them for stealing my mothers mind, for screwing up my childhood, for contributing to putting a bullet in my fathers head? Yeah, I'll forgive'em alright.

19

I have also returned.....

by SanFranciscoJim in

jw
friends

.

after being absent from this board for a couple of years, at the gentle prodding of rayzorblade, i have come back.. although i am still going by "san francisco jim", i've since left california and am now living in pennsylvania.. while i am here, please allow me to make a shameless plug for the new message board for gay & lesbian exjws at: http://frost.bbboy.net/acommonbond.

kind regards to all...... jim.

Tinkerbell4125

Hey SanFrancisoJim, nice to meet'cha!

I read your story, you poor baby. I'm glad that you're finally out and clean and sober too!

I'm not gay, but I miss my gay friends. I'm a retired hairstylist *well 43, but retired* and I miss the circle of gay buddies that I ran with in the ol days. After the hair shows, we would all pile up and go to all the gay bars in town. It was a blast! I'm glad that your are being true to yourself and realize what a great guy you are!

I was raised in the org. Got baptized in 1973, at 13 thinking that Armegeddon was coming in 1975. My hubby and I d.a.ed ourselves in 1999. Maybe one of these days I'll post my story. Anyway, nice to meet ya SanFrancisoJim! Tink