Thanks for your input. I am not of the "fighting" type. I just want to be left alone, living my life quietly and having at least a minimum of contact with my family. I do not interfere at all with their religious affairs and do not attack it. I also do not try to persuade them to follow my path in any way. I agree a lot with the last input, What is he about to achieve? He’s actually the one initiating the eventual breakup of family ties.
InquiryMan
JoinedPosts by InquiryMan
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20
(UN)Expected development
by InquiryMan inpart 1: my family and i stopped being active witnesses some 3 and a half years ago.
we did the fade thing, thus we are neither das nor df.
before we stopped, i served as an elder.
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20
(UN)Expected development
by InquiryMan inpart 1: my family and i stopped being active witnesses some 3 and a half years ago.
we did the fade thing, thus we are neither das nor df.
before we stopped, i served as an elder.
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InquiryMan
I do not really know. When we started the fading, we did say that we chose not to DA in order not to make it difficult for our family to socialize with us and vice versa. We did however, not want to remain hostages to a belief system we do not abide to. So, for some years, I guess the status have been. nothing asked, nothing said. And we’ve got along quite allright in that line. However, my father, being stubborn and an elder, is obviously the hardliner in the family. I think however, it resembles a lot to taliban and nazis to report their own family members. After all, no one else in the congregation is affected, we make no claims of being JWs anymore to neighbours, colleagues etc. It really just complicates matters. What does he really accomplish by doing this? Just to cleanse his own conscience, but destroyting relations completely with me and the rest of the family. It will also affect my children, making the distance to their grandparents even bigger, although he stated that that was not affected. JWs being a registered religious community in my country, has to abide by the law. It explicitly states that in order to withdraw from a religious organization one has to either persinally give instructions to so to the religious community or send a written message. Unless this is done, it would not be valed. Thus, a unilateral statement from the JWs that "... is no longer a Jehovah’s witness" would be invalid unless a person has agreed to that being said.
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20
(UN)Expected development
by InquiryMan inpart 1: my family and i stopped being active witnesses some 3 and a half years ago.
we did the fade thing, thus we are neither das nor df.
before we stopped, i served as an elder.
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InquiryMan
PART 1: My family and I stopped being active witnesses some 3 and a half years ago. We did the fade thing, thus we are neither DA’s nor DF. Before we stopped, I served as an elder. The past four years we’ve been celebrating christmas. We’ve had christmas decorations, including a tree the past three years. My family has accepted our fading nicely, I must say. I do not confront them with my opinions, and they do not interfere with my new way of life. Thus, some aspects of our lives, are simplye not discussed, e.g. Christmas. Today, I was sleeping on the couch, when my daughter suddenly wakes me up, stating that my sister and her sons are standing outside, making a unexpected visit. At first I sort of panicked, realizing I could not hide the decorations. The panic lasted only for a few seconds though. Then I hugged my sister in the entrance, and she smiled as she always does. I guess she was sort of mentally prepared that we celebrate christmas, and that she had prepared her sons as well, because there was no comment or reactions whatsoever. I guess I was the nervous one, wandering about and chatting unstoppingly for some minutes... Now, her two sons are falling to sleep in the christmas decorated house of her «astrayed» brother. Looking back, I think it is just ok that she has seen it, and accepting it in such a gracious way. I guess one reason is that we respect each other lives. She has chosen not be told details for me abandoning our previous common beliefs and I have respected that. I guess she’ll just keep it to herself what she saw, unless she is being directly asked by our JW parents. Just wanted to share it. A happy new year to all of you. PART 2: (the day after) I guess I was premature as to assume that my family is more "tolerant" than others. It seems my sister did mention do our parents that we had "full" christmas. (We have not been to meetings for close to 3,5 years). When I came home from work today, my father suddenly showed up (instead of my sister, who should pick up the boys). He had a stern look, stating he wanted to have a word with my wife and myself. He looked knowlingly towards the christmas tree, almost satisfied to have seen the evidence personally. Obviously, he wanted to see for himselv before turning us in. His conscience did not allow him not to tell the elders that we celebrate christmas. We have deliberately not DA just not to make it difficult for the immediate family to have at least some contact with us. We pleaded with him what was the point to bring it up, we have not tried to live a double life, just a normal life. So, now, after almost 4 years, we’re about to face "judgement". So if he decided, to go further with it (I think he will, he is a rather stubborn person), the PO will be notified. He is younger than me, and his family used to be our closest friends. So now, he is is sort of responsible of making our fate as related to family connections. I do not fully know my sister’s part in this, perhaps she just made a passing remark, not realizing that our elder father would react that strongly. I am, however, surprised that he was so naive as to think that we’ve been living in som some sort of vacuum these years. We have not done anything to make a false impression, just not mentioning things straightforwardly. My parents have heard our children remarks on gifts, family visits, christmas carols etc. I am not angry, just feeling sad, and disappointed and feeling resignation. I’ll keep you informed on what’s happening.
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An unexpected visit
by InquiryMan inmy family and i stopped being active witnesses some 3 and a half years ago.
we did the fade thing, thus we are neither das nor df.
before we stopped, i served as an elder.
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InquiryMan
I guess I was premature as to assume that my family is more "tolerant" than others. It seems my sister did mention do our parents that we had "full" christmas. (We have not been to meetings for close to 3,5 years). When I came home from work today, my father suddenly showed up (instead of my sister, who should pick up the boys). He had a stern look, stating he wanted to have a word with my wife and myself. He looked knowlingly towards the christmas tree, almost satisfied to have seen the evidence personally. Obviously, he wanted to see for himselv before turning us in. His conscience did not allow him not to tell the elders that we celebrate christmas. We have deliberately not DA just not to make it difficult for the immediate family to have at least some contact with us. We pleaded with him what was the point to bring it up, we have not tried to live a double life, just a normal life. So, now, after almost 4 years, we’re about to face "judgement". So if he decided, to go further with it (I think he will, he is a rather stubborn person), the PO will be notified. He is younger than me, and his family used to be our closest friends. So now, he is is sort of responsible of making our fate as related to family connections. I do not fully know my sister’s part in this, perhaps she just made a passing remark, not realizing that our elder father would react that strongly. I am, however, surprised that he was so naive as to think that we’ve been living in som some sort of vacuum these years. We have not done anything to make a false impression, just not mentioning things straightforwardly. My parents have heard our children remarks on gifts, family visits, christmas carols etc. I am not angry, just feeling sad, and disappointed and feeling resignation. I’ll keep you informed on what’s happening.
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13
An unexpected visit
by InquiryMan inmy family and i stopped being active witnesses some 3 and a half years ago.
we did the fade thing, thus we are neither das nor df.
before we stopped, i served as an elder.
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InquiryMan
She is however, very much active, having bible studies etc, her husband being a servant.
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13
An unexpected visit
by InquiryMan inmy family and i stopped being active witnesses some 3 and a half years ago.
we did the fade thing, thus we are neither das nor df.
before we stopped, i served as an elder.
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InquiryMan
In fact, when droppin the bomb that I intended to leave, she sent me an SMS stating that she loves me and that if this was the right choice me, better go ahead with it. She has never been a fanatical JW.
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13
An unexpected visit
by InquiryMan inmy family and i stopped being active witnesses some 3 and a half years ago.
we did the fade thing, thus we are neither das nor df.
before we stopped, i served as an elder.
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InquiryMan
My family and I stopped being active witnesses some 3 and a half years ago. We did the fade thing, thus we are neither DA’s nor DF. Before we stopped, I served as an elder. The past four years we’ve been celebrating christmas. We’ve had christmas decorations, including a tree the past three years. My family has accepted our fading nicely, I must say. I do not confront them with my opinions, and they do not interfere with my new way of life. Thus, some aspects of our lives, are simplye not discussed, e.g. Christmas. Today, I was sleeping on the couch, when my daughter suddenly wakes me up, stating that my sister and her sons are standing outside, making a unexpected visit. At first I sort of panicked, realizing I could not hide the decorations. The panic lasted only for a few seconds though. Then I hugged my sister in the entrance, and she smiled as she always does. I guess she was sort of mentally prepared that we celebrate christmas, and that she had prepared her sons as well, because there was no comment or reactions whatsoever. I guess I was the nervous one, wandering about and chatting unstoppingly for some minutes... Now, her two sons are falling to sleep in the christmas decorated house of her «astrayed» brother. Looking back, I think it is just ok that she has seen it, and accepting it in such a gracious way. I guess one reason is that we respect each other lives. She has chosen not be told details for me abandoning our previous common beliefs and I have respected that. I guess she’ll just keep it to herself what she saw, unless she is being directly asked by our JW parents. Just wanted to share it. A happy new year to all of you.
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307
SERVICE REPORT 2005 : WATCHTOWER FEB 1ST 2006
by BluesBrother ini have had a quick look and found no references to this, so - here goes..as in the mag we picked up on sunday.. worldwide % increase over 2004 = 1.3%.
memorial partakers 8524 (compared to 8570 in 2004).
most european and nth american lands show pretty static figs - britain 1% increase, canada 0%, germany 0%, france 1%, usa 0%... but spare a thought for the inhabitants of zambia where 1 person in 90 is a reporting witness, must be hell going down to the local market!
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InquiryMan
Please excuse me for passing down incorrect information. I did take it from another board. It was to good to be true then :-( However, it was still an increase of countries with decrease with 10 per cent.
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SERVICE REPORT 2005 : WATCHTOWER FEB 1ST 2006
by BluesBrother ini have had a quick look and found no references to this, so - here goes..as in the mag we picked up on sunday.. worldwide % increase over 2004 = 1.3%.
memorial partakers 8524 (compared to 8570 in 2004).
most european and nth american lands show pretty static figs - britain 1% increase, canada 0%, germany 0%, france 1%, usa 0%... but spare a thought for the inhabitants of zambia where 1 person in 90 is a reporting witness, must be hell going down to the local market!
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InquiryMan
In 2003 the number of countries with negative or zero growth was 7. In 2004 the number of countries with negative or zero growth was 22. In 2005 the number of countries with negative or zero growth was 70!
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Another story on changing magazine pics
by behemot inin my country a few years ago there was the (unwritten) rule that skirts long to the shoes were not ok for sisters.
unfortunately in brooklyn it seems that nobody knew about this, so once, much to the embarassment of the local branch that was upholding the rule, a wt issue came up that had on one page a pic of a sister preaching who wore just that kind of skirt; and on another page a pic of a witness party with a sister sitting on a sofa whose skirt covered her shoes.
result?
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InquiryMan
I heard the same mentioned about skirts when visiting friends in another European country - won’t disclose which one due to paranoia :-) He was referring to a country shaped like a boot.