unfortunately i dont have the option of reaching out to a christian church, im still "in" although out mentally,
being a fader is so hard!!
for those that dont know my story, basically i "woke up the ttatt" about a year ago, started fading, then went back, now fading again because i just cant stomach it anymore.
my husband is very supportive, although he's still "in" for now, and trying to be regular with meetings and witnessing, he can see my point of view now, and often notices things in the wt or other publications that are "off".
the fading thing is hard, sometimes i want to da, but because of the upheaval it would cause my family, im waiting a little while - i guess hoping that my husband will be on the same page at some point, so that we can support eachother.
unfortunately i dont have the option of reaching out to a christian church, im still "in" although out mentally,
being a fader is so hard!!
first up, happy new year .
hi everyone, ok i guess this is controversial, but im doing it as therapy for me - so im not bitter about the way i was raised.
plus i want to see if i can be the op of an "epic thread"!!.
I guess this illustrates to me that "worldy" parents can do just as good a job of raising their kids lol
My born again christian friend at highschool has gone on to have a successful career and happy marriage (from what I hear)
Another friend from high school who i still keep in touch with who was raised with no religion at all has also gone on to have a very happy family life with her husband and kids, and some success in her music career.
Sigh
dang it my thread is a dud!
first up, happy new year .
hi everyone, ok i guess this is controversial, but im doing it as therapy for me - so im not bitter about the way i was raised.
plus i want to see if i can be the op of an "epic thread"!!.
sorry to hear that lp. My mum is the best too, unfortunately so brainwashed though, that even though it would break her heart, if I officially left the "truth" she would absuolutely shun me.
i hope i do get some happy replies... I cant be the only one who can see the positive side...
Maybe I should edit the thread title! Can I do that?
we're trying to rebuild our lives after leaving the org, have new experiences and create new memories for ourselves.
we're planning out our trip to hawaii, nz, austrailia and tahati in february.
i thought i'd see if anyone on here could give us some advice on places to see/stay/eat in brisbane and thereabouts, as well as places to steer clear of.
ps, if you want cheaper accomodation, look for cabins in tourist parks, 3 star or more are fine, but check they can supply linens.
we're trying to rebuild our lives after leaving the org, have new experiences and create new memories for ourselves.
we're planning out our trip to hawaii, nz, austrailia and tahati in february.
i thought i'd see if anyone on here could give us some advice on places to see/stay/eat in brisbane and thereabouts, as well as places to steer clear of.
I used to live in brisbane, the Gold Coast is very touristy, theres all the theme parks to go to if you're into that sort of thing (buy tickets in advance, you can get a 3 or 4 park pass, MUCH cheaper)
On the way from Bris to Gold Coast, there are a few nice nature walks in the glasshouse mountains.
The sunshine coast is also quite touristy, but not quite so much as the GC, there are beautiful beaches and national parks.
Look up Currumbin Wildlife Sanctuary and of course Australia zoo - they're great places to visit.
In Brisbane city, the southbank markets are lots of fun on a FRIDAY night.\
I was born in NZ, dont go to christchurch, its still having earthquakes rather regularly, but in the south island, everything south of Dunedin is beautiful - scenery (mountains, lakes, snow) and Queenstown is the tourist destination for snow sports and adventure sports (white water rafting, bungee jumping). Google some tourist sites for info on the best seasons to go.
Im not that familiar with the North Island, except for tourist spots in Rotorua, and Waitomo caves.
Again, just google and you'll get a better idea of places and the best seasons to go.
NZ is still not the warmest down south, even in summer months.
Brisbane is "sub-tropical", so even if you go in winter, its not very cold, and quite humid.
Enjoy planning your trip and have a wonderful time!!
Sky xx
first up, happy new year .
hi everyone, ok i guess this is controversial, but im doing it as therapy for me - so im not bitter about the way i was raised.
plus i want to see if i can be the op of an "epic thread"!!.
FIRST UP, HAPPY NEW YEAR
Hi everyone, ok I guess this is controversial, but Im doing it as therapy for me - so Im not bitter about the way i was raised. Plus I want to see if I can be the OP of an "EPIC THREAD"!!
Before I get to the point I want to make something clear....I find it so sad reading some of the personal experiences here of people who really had it tough - abusive parents & others in the cong etc, made worse by bad WTS policies that allow elders too much power, and elders that are not acting the way they are supposed to. If only EVERY professed JW really acted like one should. It is heartbreaking that these kind of things happen and I am so sorry for those who have been put off the religion in this way. And I thought it was hard to wake up to TTATT just by growing up and researching the doctrines and history of the WTS!
I am a fader, so in no way an apologist, however as stated in the beginning of my post, this thread is like therapy, so I dont get to bitter.
My Mum and stepdad are "Uber Dubs", and I find it hard to have a conversation with them these days without wanting to scream "you sound like a bloody robot!!" Freaky stuff. Anyway, I just smile and nod because they really are genuinely lovely people, salt of the earth types. especially my mum.
So I was essentially raised by very loving, kind, proper JW parents. And although it has been so painful to wake up and realise I have been part of "just another religion/cult", there are reasons to be happy about my upbringing (which I realise as a parent myself I can do also, without the religion). For oe thing, I believe it was a protection during high school/ puberty years. I am a pretty impulsive person, but with my conscience well trained/ brainwashed, I avoided so many things that I saw hurt lots of girls around me - teen pregnancy, heartbreaks, stds, drugs, cigarettes, alcohol abuse.... etc etc. That sort of thing was commonplace... my high school was in a rough area!
My Mum did get me treatment for my depression, so I wasnt neglected in that way. Healthcare wasnt pushed to the background.
Through being a JW, I met my husband (im 3rd gen, hes 2nd gen), if either of us had "woken up" earlier, or not been raised a JW, we wouldnt have each other or our gorgeous (yes they really are, Im not just biased because Im their Mum) children.
In our marriage we have faced ups and downs like any other, with our personalities, if we hadnt had the upbringing/religion, I dont think our marriage would have survived, and again, we wouldnt have our lovely children.
I do have a genuinely nice family life and I believe a good chunk of that is due to being raised a JW.
I have to admit, the WTS sucks with the handling of child abuse/molestation cases and many other "judicial matters", the elder arrangement is crap, the 607/1914 doctrine also BIG CRAP, and so on and so forth.
But in some areas, I do believe they get it right - common sense prevails, not that they necessarily think of stuff first. For instance, does anyone else recall the dangers of practical jokes being mentioned in the mags at some point? That kind of common sense couldve prevented some recent events in the UK regarding Aussie DJs from ever happening.
And despite the prevailing attitudes amongst many JWs (yes admittedly because of the WTS articles in the past,and even some more recently that gloss over the topic) about depression/mental illness, the series on mood disorders did state the need for professional help, and that depression was not a spiritual problem.
Again Im not an apologist, and saying that the mood disorders article was enough to make up for years of treating depressed individuals like rubbish, would be like saying that the whole 1975 thing didnt count because in the 80s and more recently they made half arsed comments about disappointed hopes.
I also wish that my parents had been more focused on my education, or encouraging me in sports, it would have helped my development enormously. But now im getting way off topic....
OK, so OVER TO ALL MY FELLOW BORN INS.... what are some of YOUR HAPPY/POSITIVE THOUGHTS ON BEING RAISED A JW?.... it could be therapeutic...
Happy stuff only, pretty PLEASE... ...
Love,
Sky
yep! the beach near us is PERFECT for swimming,
I made a pavalova too... ok so I bought one from coles and added the cream and fruits... gorged on it for two glorious days....
now its new years day and pretty much the same plan, the beach I mean.... i neglected to go shopping for treats...
for those that dont know my story, basically i "woke up the ttatt" about a year ago, started fading, then went back, now fading again because i just cant stomach it anymore.
my husband is very supportive, although he's still "in" for now, and trying to be regular with meetings and witnessing, he can see my point of view now, and often notices things in the wt or other publications that are "off".
the fading thing is hard, sometimes i want to da, but because of the upheaval it would cause my family, im waiting a little while - i guess hoping that my husband will be on the same page at some point, so that we can support eachother.
thankyou to everyone that has replied, i really appreciate it
jgnat, yes I am working on making a few friends outside the religion, its going well so far. im a busy mum though, so i dont get out much! we are moving away to a small town at some point this year, so im going to try and get some sort of mums group together at my kids school once we're settled in. It will be nice to start fresh. Im hoping there arent any JW kids in my kids school! would make life a bit AWKWARD>>> will have to visit our congregation and ask around....
for those that pointed that its the thinking i have to have the answers that might be causing my distress, thankyou. Its just so hard when you've lived your life smugly believing you do have all the answers... and now to have NONE. But I will get used to it in time, just like everyone else here has.
since joining this site and having my eyes opened,i find i'm now dealing with a lot of emotions that were suppressed.one being the passing of loved ones,in the org we were discouraged from showing proper emotions due to the fact that if you did you were considered weak since they the dearly departed were only sleeping.now im being bombarded with dreams of my loved ones that i,due to my brainwashing never had the emotional release that i should have had.i'm just wondering how others on this site are coping,and dealing with the fact that everything we was taught was false almost as a way to keep up under control,as we lost years and decades of time.i almost wish i keep my head and the sand and had taken the blue pill.what has helped you all deal with this ...new religion......no religion...etc.
I see the comment a lot that JWs dont feel like they can grieve normally, as if it shows a lack of faith. this must be an old school way of thinking that prevails in some areas.
Personally i have never experienced this - i remember a wt or a article talking about how before jesus wept even when he knew he was going to resurrect lazzarus. It said it is natural to grieve and we shouldnt feel it is a lack of faith if we do. Must find it and post.
Just making it clear, im not an apologist, im a fader. But in the interest of balance, I think its important to acknowledge that they sometimes get it right.
OK sorry to go off topic.... i'll repost when my last thread expires!
love, Skyi know this is a long shot and my identity as a witness is certainly at stake but anyone at a circuit assembly right now who is mentally out/disfellowshipped/faded who'd like to meet up?.
i can't disclose the location but i'm curious though.
i mean i know that there are assemblies and conventions all year long so i'm pretty sure there's more than one going on now but i'm extremely bored and annoyed and can barely keep from showing my anger at hipocresy and lies that are being said on the platform!
not now but will be soon argh!! i feel your pain!!