i have had to make some very difficult decisions in recent days.
in one way i feel good about takeing care of myself and my mother who is on her dead bed in the room next to me.
mom has live with me since 2005 and started to make her journey to the other side on christmas day.
huge big hugs to you, what a tough time you are going through!
My only suggestion would be ask yourself: What would mum want? and what decision will you be able to live with?
Hope things work out peacefully for you, whatever you decide, you certainly have all the support in the world here
Lots of love
Sky xx
wow it felt good to type that heading, if only it were officially true!.
i guess i dont want to dwell on "ttatt" too much, though i am now an inactive jw now, and will be forever, i dont want to be defined by that.
but i will certainly keep an eye on this forum, contribute where i feel i can, and i must say thankyou to those who moderate it and keep it running.
Happy Dad, TTATT means "the truth about the truth", it took me a while to decipher that one too! Whats BS??!! just kidding, why dont you just type bullshit?
Thanks to everyone for the helpful feedback. For those that asked, my parents are "ubder dubs", it is their WHOLE LIFE. I have no interest in trying to "wake them up", i just dont think it would help. A quick update:
My mum knows Im inactive in the ministry and irregular. She really wants me to explain why. I was honest with her in saying that research has led me to believe that according to the bible the witnesses cant have "the truth", i dont just have doubts anymore about the org. I also said that since coming to that conclusion I now have serious doubts about the bible. She asked me so what led to those conclusions and how do you feel about Jehovah? I have answered that I feel it wouldnt be productive to explain all my reasons, that these are personal and private, and that I have no desire to tear down the faith of another person. I also said that I find it VERY hard to believe in God anymore, but that I am OK with that, that I no longer feel like I have to have those answers. I said that taking that burden off myself is helping me to relax and actually focus on my family life more. Hopefully she can accept that. I will continue to encourage her to care for her health (mental and physical), enjoy her hobbies and her grandchildren. We just wont talk about spiritual matters unless she asks me direct questions. I thought about sending her the "letter" I put in my original post, but I just dont think its the right time. It would just lead to more questions and more stress. I need to be relaxed so I can enjoy time with my husband and kids - whilst having this email discussion with my mother i havent been very available as a wife or mother, and it affects my relationship with them badly.
I said on my other thread that Im going to continue with the Sunday meetings to try and keep my family unified. I have hopes that my husband will fade with me eventually, but it has to come from him. I need to be supportive of him. When he is relaxed and happy, I am relaxed and happy and vice versa. And if we are happy together, we are the best parents we can be. That is so important to me, the most important thing of all really.
Am in a bit of limbo at the moment, its tough isnt it!? But I know things will get easier, its just been a matter of finding some sort of balance as a family.
I have more to say, but I have to watch how much I share here.
Bye for now
Love Sky
for those of you who used to be jws, or who are active, if the society was in charge of the earth, how many people do you think you would have seen stoned during your lifetimes?
i realize some elders can be zealous about their work, but if they'd actually had administrative authority to have kh members stoned to death, how many elders did you know who would have been zealous enough to really order them?.
did you know any elders who would have ordered stonings, even if the condemned people had been willing to repent?.
disturbing photos dazed...! how awful what some humans can do to the other humans
regarding the OP....
An elder in our old congregation answered up in the WT once... I believe there was the example of Phinehas (you know the one who speared the fornicators through the middle..."what and aaaagonizing deaath", great drama that). Anyhoo, brother "oldandtiredandfaithfulandsickofallyoumerepublisherssinningallthetime" said something to the effect of "...elders today dont have that kind of authority, although at times we wish we could carry around a big stick..." There were a few incredulous looks in the hall, including from some of the other elders. Brother "loveandforgivenessbutnobackbonetostandupforus", brother "seriouslyanxiousallthetime", brother "bythebookknobhead".... i dont think any of them knew where to look!
wow it felt good to type that heading, if only it were officially true!.
i guess i dont want to dwell on "ttatt" too much, though i am now an inactive jw now, and will be forever, i dont want to be defined by that.
but i will certainly keep an eye on this forum, contribute where i feel i can, and i must say thankyou to those who moderate it and keep it running.
thankyou so much everyone, it makes me happy to know that posting this has been helpful to at least one other person if not more.
I was watching a couple of youtube videos posted here, one about mexico/malawi (by the snarky apologist), and the other from Cedars/jw survey about the child abuse letter. Both very powerful. Will be bookmarking and keeping lots of these "gems" in a file for future reference and possibly to help others.
Love to everyone
Sky xxx
this weekend i had the most delicious chicken pie filled with white meat, a few veggies, gravy and the chicken pie had a hard crust, not puff pastry.
yum!
that with a soft wheat roll and butter......
PAVALOVA WITH SWEET WHIPPED CREAM AND PASSIONFRUIT PULP & CADBURY FLAKE CHOCOLATE ON TOP...... MMMMMMMMMMM
wow it felt good to type that heading, if only it were officially true!.
i guess i dont want to dwell on "ttatt" too much, though i am now an inactive jw now, and will be forever, i dont want to be defined by that.
but i will certainly keep an eye on this forum, contribute where i feel i can, and i must say thankyou to those who moderate it and keep it running.
Wow it felt good to type that heading, if only it were officially true!
I guess i dont want to dwell on "TTATT" too much, though I am now an inactive JW now, and will be forever, I dont want to be defined by that. I am just me. But I will certainly keep an eye on this forum, contribute where I feel I can, and I must say thankyou to those who moderate it and keep it running. What a lifeline it has been!
I know the time will come when I will have to give my Mum some sort of explanation for my being inactive, and I wanted to sort it all out in my head anyway, so I composed the following, its saved on my computer (no worries, my hubby already knows it all and he is very supportive although not at the same point himself)... and feel so much freer again!
Feedback is welcome. Its a bit rough as I only just finished... Im sure I missed plenty out!
Love from SkyGreen
(because finding out TTATT is like waking up one day and seeing that the grass is blue....and the Sky is Green)
My doubts about the organization began slowly, in my last Congregation, as I experienced the unloving, unchristian way of some elders. This led me to question that they were “appointed by holy spirit”
I agree that one cannot expect perfection from imperfect men. However, further research showed me that problems like this are so widespread, even to the point of elders being guilty of serious misconduct over a period of time. If Jesus is really “head of the congregation” as taught, why would children and other similarly vulnerable ones be continuously put at risk, as they “wait on Jehovah” to sort things out.
Reading Crisis of Conscience, by former governing body member brother Raymond Franz, opened my eyes to the inner workings of the societies leaders over time. The inconsistencies regarding Malawi and Mexico brothers caused me great pain.
Further research of the societies older publications showed me there were several outright and heavily implied prophecies about the end of this system, that were later modified or proved completely untrue. The scripture often quoted in Prov 4:18 about the “light getting brighter” doesn’t seem to really apply to this. That scripture is talking about the path of the righteous one, which could be interpreted several ways. I read somewhere recently that light might get brighter, but it shouldn’t change colour!
Interestingly, in Deut 18:22, the point is clearly made that if the prediction of a so called prophet does NOT come true, then he is not speaking the words of Jehovah.
I understand that expectations about the end of this system, did help some to intensify their share in the preaching work and put off so called worldly goals and ambitions, therefore the Word was preached more and more. So if it is the truth, then some benefit came, despite the disappointment of many, and the fact that many (for example, post 1975) fell away from the organization.
But, what about understandings regarding organ transplants? Did not the society put itself in the place of God to make these decisions for people in the past? Could they not be bloodguilty for this? Don’t they continue to put themselves in God’s place by making decisions for people? While they say it is up to our conscience, so many things are heavily implied as being wrong (eg university)
The teachings surrounding 1914 are integral to what Jehovah’s Witnesses believe. The destruction of Jerusalem needs to have been in 607 for this to be correct. Bible prophecy states that Jerusalem’s punishment (captivity) would last 70 years, and so although archealogical evidence points to it only lasting around 50 years. Because of the strong belief and faith in biblical prophecy over any human wisdom, Jehovah’s Witnesses have held fast to the 607 date as being correct.
In the bible, there have been times where Jehovah has taken back his punishment, for example, read the whole book of Jonah. Ninevah was supposed to be destroyed, yet because of their sincere repentance, Jehovah spared them.
Might he not have done the same for Jerusalem? Should the WTS hold so tightly to the 607/1914 belief? Perhaps they should admit to still really just being “Bible Students” rather than Jehovah’s earthly representatives!
Since realizing the above things, I have continued to research. I find many doctrines or teachings that do not have clear scriptural backing. This does seem like a very high control group. As witnesses, we are cautioned strongly against reading anything “apostate” or “worldly philosophies”. But shouldn’t real truth stand up to scrutiny. From what I have read, I have been able quite easily to discern between those that are simply bitter over personal experience, from those who really have chosen to follow their Christian conscience. Any doctrinal concerns or historical concerns I have thoroughly researched and not been swayed by anything I could not verify.
The recent doctrinal change regarding “overlapping generations” just boggles my mind. Wont even go there.
Despite having serious problems at some point about a year ago with serving in the ministry (when I couldn’t honestly say this was THE TRUTH,) I still firmly believed in God, and had this real spiritual need.
But now that my mind feels freer to analise things more, I find it harder and harder to believe that there is a God in heaven who still cares about us. Maybe he started us off, but he forgot about us long ago.
Looking at the bible teach book from a fresh perspective, the illustration of the teacher and rebellious student to represent Jehovah and Satan and the “universal issue” just doesn’t fly. I read somewhere someone elses thoughts: If there was a “cosmic pain meter” that God could refer to at any one time…. Just think about that.
If we are honestly created in his image (love), and if we could heal all of that pain, we would do it instantly. 1000 years to him may be just a day, but it is at least 10 lifetimes for us!!
I agree that if more people lived by Christian principles, the world would be a better place. But those principles can be taught without a religion. The love thy neighbor principle is natural to most human beings, isn’t it?
My priority is to love my family and do what I can to care for them and myself, to teach my children love and tolerance. I want them to pursue whatever dreams they have, and to use their lives in a positive way. I want to do the same for myself.
If “the truth” is THE TRUTH, and I deserve to die at Armageddon, so be it. My conscience is clear. I am not a bad person.
Think about this… if it is the truth and Armageddon came tomorrow, what about that beautiful baby girl my neighbor just gave birth to…. Does she deserve to die? Would Jehovah kill her just because her parents weren’t interested in listening to yet another religion? If that’s the case, he is not a god I would want to serve for eternity.
I would love to have some kind of faith to comfort me in later life, only time will tell...
The end. (tada! lol)
for those that dont know my story, basically i "woke up the ttatt" about a year ago, started fading, then went back, now fading again because i just cant stomach it anymore.
my husband is very supportive, although he's still "in" for now, and trying to be regular with meetings and witnessing, he can see my point of view now, and often notices things in the wt or other publications that are "off".
the fading thing is hard, sometimes i want to da, but because of the upheaval it would cause my family, im waiting a little while - i guess hoping that my husband will be on the same page at some point, so that we can support eachother.
Thankyou to everyone who replied, you have all helped me more than I can say. I really needed to get that off my chest.
Im sure youll all be pleased to know, thanks to you all, i didnt stay depressed for long
FlyingHighNow & EP.... do i need to seperate you two!!??
first up, happy new year .
hi everyone, ok i guess this is controversial, but im doing it as therapy for me - so im not bitter about the way i was raised.
plus i want to see if i can be the op of an "epic thread"!!.
THANKYOU TO EVERYONE FOR YOUR FEEDBACK,
you have all helped me to gain perspective, i really appreciate it xx
Love from SkyGreen
(because finding out TTATT is like waking up one day and seeing that the grass is blue....and the Sky is Green)
for those that dont know my story, basically i "woke up the ttatt" about a year ago, started fading, then went back, now fading again because i just cant stomach it anymore.
my husband is very supportive, although he's still "in" for now, and trying to be regular with meetings and witnessing, he can see my point of view now, and often notices things in the wt or other publications that are "off".
the fading thing is hard, sometimes i want to da, but because of the upheaval it would cause my family, im waiting a little while - i guess hoping that my husband will be on the same page at some point, so that we can support eachother.
unfortunately i dont have the option of reaching out to a christian church, im still "in" although out mentally,
being a fader is so hard!!
first up, happy new year .
hi everyone, ok i guess this is controversial, but im doing it as therapy for me - so im not bitter about the way i was raised.
plus i want to see if i can be the op of an "epic thread"!!.
I guess this illustrates to me that "worldy" parents can do just as good a job of raising their kids lol
My born again christian friend at highschool has gone on to have a successful career and happy marriage (from what I hear)
Another friend from high school who i still keep in touch with who was raised with no religion at all has also gone on to have a very happy family life with her husband and kids, and some success in her music career.
Sigh
dang it my thread is a dud!
