For those that don't understand what all the fuss is about, I'm going to give you a brief inside look at what the culture is like today in the JW Organization. Many of you have been out for years or even decades. The Organization is alot different today than what it was back then. Or maybe you will read it and say it was exactly the same back in the 70s and 80s, I'd like to hear your comments.
Suppose I get a $500 bonus from my employer and I decide it's a great time to replenish my home bar. It's going to require me to buy an assortment of different bottles and I'm estimating it will come to possibly $200-$250. So I waltz into the liquor store, load up a shopping cart and head to the check out. A brother walks in just as I'm putting it all on the conveyor belt.
My instant thought is "oh shit, this doesn't look good. I've done nothing wrong at all, but what does he think? I have to make this right before I leave."
I finish paying for my booze and hang outside the entrance till this brother walks out. I have a little small talk with him and he kiddingly brings up that I'm buying the whole store out. I laugh and then say how I received my bonus and figured it would be a great time to use that surplus of money to replenish my bar. He agrees, what a great idea and said he is jealous and asks when he will get an invite over to enjoy a few drinks. We finish up, shake hands, say our goodbyes, and that is behind me, no issue at all.
Fast forward a few days. I'm at a meeting and an elder pulls me aside and says he'd like to talk to me in the back room. I walk back there and 2 elders are sitting at the table with their Bibles and iPads out. They go on to tell me they've heard about my liquor purchase. I tell them the whole story and think it's ironic I have to explain myself to them, feels like I'm being interrogated by the Police. After they tell me they are not accusing me of over drinking, they share some scriptures about stumbling others and how we need to lovingly consider the friends. I'm just sitting there in shock listening to it all wondering how it came to this.
I leave and then text the brother that saw me that day and ask if he went to the elders. He told me no. He then explains he was out in the field ministry and passed the liquor store and then brought up the funny story to the car group about me buying out the store. The group laughed about it, but then it spread like wildfire through the whole congregation, thus the elders heard about it and had to address it.
Prior to the next meeting, I text both of the elders if I could have a word with them before the start of the meeting. We go in the back room and I ask if there shouldn't be a Local Needs talk on gossip, because the whole congregation needs to hear it. They proceed to tell me all of them are just so loving and care about me, that some were concerned. I asked if they were concerned, why didn't they follow the Bible and approach me with that loving concern? They can't answer that, but then ultimately say none of this would have happened if I would have had the foresight to think of my brothers and sisters before I bought all that booze.
They made me realize I had dropped my guard that day, I failed to think "how will this look?" and "what will people think?" I didn't sin, but I did commit a sin in the JW Organization by failing to ask myself these questions. The fault isn't the congregations and their gossip, it's all my fault for doing something that could stumble others.
I then feel awful and try to contemplate what I could have done to avoid this. It wasn't an option to just not get the booze, because I have a right to do that and it's not wrong. I asked them what they would have done. They tell me "you have a lot of co-workers that drink right? Couldn't you have just given them the money to get it all on their next alcohol run?" The 2nd elder says "You could have wore a baseball cap and put on one of those glasses that have the fake nose and mustache attached!" We all laugh about that, but I'm thinking that isn't a bad idea. Next time I just might have to wear a baseball cap, put on a fake mustache and maybe even put in contact lens that change the color of my eyes, that would hopefully be enough to get away with it and not be noticed.
I kid you not, this is 100% exactly what the culture is like day in and day out when you are in the JW Organization. They say Jehovah is the most important thing, or the ministry, Kingdom, Bible, you could name many things, but the number one thing has always been and will always be appearances. People always say God sees all, he is watching, or what would Jesus do? But as a JW, the number one thing is "How does this look and what will people think?". And we have to assume people are always thinking the worst, always.
Tony has played a very strong role in creating this culture over the years, so I find it funny how he's a victim of it!
