Posts by Sevan

83

Seeking support ... Where can a Christian go

by Sevan in

jw
friends

hey all, .

so i recently posted for the first time and introduced myself.. i have been spending time reading various posts.

some informative, some not so much.. since i've been reading on here, i've read a lot from atheists.

Sevan

Also, I understand why Atheists have a problem with the Abrahamic God and the idea of destruction for non-believers.

To this I very much empathize. At this point, I cannot claim any answers. I just woke up from the dream/nightmare that is being a JW. So much of what I thought I truly believed just went up in smoke. It had no real foundation, but was based on manipulation and lies.

What I am left with is a belief in Jesus, a belief in a Creator and many of the higher principles in the Bible, like love, patience and humility.

There are many things that I still don't understand and question in the Bible. But I also realize that I only know a tiny fraction of what is to be known in this universe and there could be very good reasons for what is written that I simply don't understand.

I have an issue with a lot of the misogyny in the Bible, mainly in the OT, but also in Paul's writings. I have a hard time with the stoning people to death and the many other passages that come across as barbaric. Some passages, like the creation account, at least on the surface, appear scientifically inaccurate. I don't fully understand the condemnation of homosexuality since I really empathize with the fact that homosexuals cannot change to being heterosexuals and also desire companionship and children.

That said, I am just an imperfect human, viewing the world in my own imperfect and limited way. Maybe all these things have a legitimate explanation that I am not seeing. For now, I am just going to try to be a loving and kind person as I journey in life toward a more complete understanding of both God and humanity.

All that said, I think God has a right as our creator to judge his creation however he sees fit. If that means eternal death for me, so be it. I am not owed eternal life by God.

However, I do not think I have that same right to judge others. Judging others is promoted in the JW religion, but that is one of the main things about the religion that I reject. I think it is a fallacy to say that your religion or politics or sexuality, etc etc, somehow make you superior than others. Because all those things only make up a small fraction of the sum total of a person's being. Because everyone's views are colored by their life-experiences and information at that singular point in time.

83

Seeking support ... Where can a Christian go

by Sevan in

jw
friends

hey all, .

so i recently posted for the first time and introduced myself.. i have been spending time reading various posts.

some informative, some not so much.. since i've been reading on here, i've read a lot from atheists.

Sevan

Thank you for your responses.

I will say this, reading the viewpoints of Atheists and watching their videos has made me more understanding of why people are Atheists.

I don't have a problem at all with the majority of posters being Atheist. I respect everyone's right to believe as they choose. I dislike being told that I am irrational or stupid for believing in God. I happen to have an IQ in the top 1% of the world population and I am very academically accomplished and well-educated. I am in fact a very rational, logical person.

Everyone has different life experiences and everyone has taken in different sets of information. The life experiences and information I've taken in have led to a belief in God. I fully respect that other people's life experiences and information that they've taken in may lead to a lack of belief in God. I don't demean those that have different beliefs as I do either in my heart or words. I am simply hoping for the same consideration.

83

Seeking support ... Where can a Christian go

by Sevan in

jw
friends

hey all, .

so i recently posted for the first time and introduced myself.. i have been spending time reading various posts.

some informative, some not so much.. since i've been reading on here, i've read a lot from atheists.

Sevan

Thank you. I appreciate that dubstepped.

83

Seeking support ... Where can a Christian go

by Sevan in

jw
friends

hey all, .

so i recently posted for the first time and introduced myself.. i have been spending time reading various posts.

some informative, some not so much.. since i've been reading on here, i've read a lot from atheists.

Sevan

Hey all,

So I recently posted for the first time and introduced myself.

I have been spending time reading various posts. Some informative, some not so much.

Since I've been reading on here, I've read a lot from Atheists. I wanted to see why Atheists felt the way they did? What was their reasoning and arguments?

I have always found people's different beliefs and opinions enthralling from a human psychology and sociology standpoint. This is why I enjoy reading viewpoints from people of different political parties and talking to people of different belief systems as well. All very interesting. I enjoy respectful discussion and debate.

However, that said, I have not found the Atheist vs Believer debates on this site to be respectful or particularly helpful. In fact, I have found this site overall to be extremely hostile toward believers. There are posts that imply and others that directly state that believers are delusional, illogical, irrational and lacking intelligence.

Now I have not come here to be converted to any particular way of thinking. I have come here for support after just leaving a very controlling and close-minded religion that greatly impacted my life over the last 20 years. I am not here to be converted to Atheism, nor am I here to convert anyone to Theism. I am simply looking for a little support and friendship.

Frankly, there is nothing that could convert me to Atheism, so it is honestly a waste of time. I was a believer long before encountering the Jehovah's Witnesses and I will be a believer for the rest of my life. I have already thought long and deeply on all my reasons for faith over decades of time. Losing my religion does not also entail a loss of faith in God. Furthermore, I have found the arguments in favor of Atheism lacking and unconvincing. Now do I think that there are many things we humans do not understand about the universe and God? Of course. But the default to not having all the answers is not an absence of faith for me personally.

Considering all the above, since it is clear that Atheists and agnostics have essentially taken over this site and are hostile toward believers, where can a believer, even someone who still considers themselves a Christian, go for moral support?

60

New Here ... Just woke up

by Sevan in

jw
friends

hey all, .

this is my first post.

i haven't been out in service or to a meeting in over a month.. i realize now that i've been having serious questions for years and many articles and talks have greatly disturbed me over the years.

Sevan

Giordano,

Thank you for your advice.

My husband has helped to smooth things over as best he can. I think the kids are just in shock. Hopefully they will come around eventually.

They are preteen and going on preteen, so not little kids, but still fairly young.

Believe me, there are so many times that I have wanted to tell them the truth about their horrible mother and all the misery she has caused. To tell them what a fake and duplicitous person she is. Lord knows she is working overtime in undermining my husband and I and constantly lying through her teeth about us. She is an expert at manipulation and parental alienation. This is a game my husband and I, both very honest and legit people, cannot win because we are not willing to sink to her lows. Because we are not willing to put our interests ahead of the kids. And because they are still too young to handle the cold hard truth.

I know that eventually they will start to see things for themselves. They will start to notice how dishonest, prideful and controlling their mother is and it will be a stark contrast to their life at our house.

And when they are closer to adulthood I look forward to showing them the giant court file of all the insanity she put my husband through in court. All the numerous lies she told in court and throughout our community. How she did everything in her power and told every lie in the book to try to take the kids from their dad and all their dad went through just to get joint custody of them. I think the court case in its full glory will show the kids just what kind of person their mother really is. I am looking forward to the day I can show it to them.

43

At a regional convention today....

by Nobodyspecial in

jw
friends

it really stands out to me just how phoney the bonds of forced brotherhood are.

the smiles are paper thin when they see each other in hotels.

the laughs forced.

Sevan

Hey kairos,

I was baptized in the Cow Palace! Went there for many years. Lately we've been able to go to the Convention Center in downtown Sacramento, which has been much nicer and more convenient.

I'm planning on going to the convention this year, but I'm planning on this being my last one. I want to see the terrible shunning video and bunker video leaked online for myself.

I have badges for myself, husband and kids that they gave me at meeting, but I'm not sure if I want to wear mine.

I view this convention as a sort of closure for me.

60

New Here ... Just woke up

by Sevan in

jw
friends

hey all, .

this is my first post.

i haven't been out in service or to a meeting in over a month.. i realize now that i've been having serious questions for years and many articles and talks have greatly disturbed me over the years.

Sevan

Thanks Saename, I will check all this out! Very helpful and thank you for your kind words! It is hard not to feel foolish once you wake up, so your reassuring words mean a lot to me.

Corruptgirl, I just read you and your husband's story while my baby was sleeping on me. You and your husband's story were both very helpful. I'm going to try to use the methods your husband used with my husband and eventually with my step-kids. For now, as far as my step-kids are concerned, I think it is important to reassure them that nothing has changed about who I am or my love for them and to reassure them that I will respect their beliefs and that I will be respectful of their conscience. I am planning on not celebrating birthdays or holidays around them because I know it will bother them. Hopefully once they realize that nothing has changed and that I am still the same person and love them the same, hopefully eventually they will be more open.

60

New Here ... Just woke up

by Sevan in

jw
friends

hey all, .

this is my first post.

i haven't been out in service or to a meeting in over a month.. i realize now that i've been having serious questions for years and many articles and talks have greatly disturbed me over the years.

Sevan

Thanks corruptgirl. I appreciate the advice. I will work on slowly and subtlety getting my husband to see TTATT.

My husband has doubts, but isn't ready to give up "the truth" yet.

I think it is a lot harder for him because he was raised a Witness and all his immediate family and quite a bit of his extended family are also Witnesses. The JW religion is all he has ever known.

I was not raised a Witness and I have a lot less to lose than him.

In my opinion, all the JW friends and family that I've gained over the last 20 years are not real friends or family. If they were, their love would not be contingent on me believing, thinking and doing the same things as them. Their love is without foundation and sincerity.

My non-JW family has always been there for me all these years and have always respected my right to believe as I saw fit. I have kept up my relationship with them all these years. Over the years, I was often advised by JWs to drop my non-JW family, but I never listened. I was taken from my family as a teenager when I was put in foster care, which was honestly incredibly traumatic, and I was not about to let anyone or any religion take me from them again. I would be having a much harder time right now without them and I'm very grateful that I have non-JW family to lean on right now.

I am still trying to process everything, all the lies, the disillusionment, the suffering, the wasted time and financial sacrifices I've made for this religion, the lost friendships and opportunities, just everything. It is a whirlwind of emotion, but I know I'll get to a peaceful place eventually.

I know that it is important not to hang on to anger and resentment and to move on with my life as best as I can.

I'm looking forward to really contributing to society without being given a guilt trip. Every time I've given money or time to charities in the past (mainly the SPCA and the local women's shelter), I've been given either a guilt trip or warning by the elders for wasting time and money that could be going to the preaching work. The elders told me I could get a JC if I volunteered at the women's shelter again since it is run by a church of "Christendom."

Now I can simply follow my conscience! I can embrace people in love for who they are and not simply what "club" they belong to! My son and hopefully someday my step-kids can have a normal life! I am blessed in many ways. I know that it is important not to dwell too much on the ways that I've been victimized.

60

New Here ... Just woke up

by Sevan in

jw
friends

hey all, .

this is my first post.

i haven't been out in service or to a meeting in over a month.. i realize now that i've been having serious questions for years and many articles and talks have greatly disturbed me over the years.

Sevan

Thank you notalone, I will check that website out! I just bookmarked it!

60

New Here ... Just woke up

by Sevan in

jw
friends

hey all, .

this is my first post.

i haven't been out in service or to a meeting in over a month.. i realize now that i've been having serious questions for years and many articles and talks have greatly disturbed me over the years.

Sevan

Hello all!

Thank you so much for all your kind messages and support!

I had my non-JW family and my JW kids here, so I couldn't respond right away.

I am planning on reading the transcripts from the Australian Royal Commission. What I've read and heard so far is heartbreaking to say the least. If not just for the doctrinal issues, the pedophilia issue alone is enough for me to leave and never come back. The welfare of children is very important to me. I also found out that the JWs tolerate physical abuse of children, which is extremely upsetting.

I have been putting off people so far and saying I just need space, but I don't think that's going to last after today.

I lovingly and calmly told my step-daughter that I didn't want to be a Jehovah's Witness anymore and a couple of the reasons why. Her and my step-son's reaction was extremely shocking to say the least. My step-daughter, that I have raised since before she can remember, gave me the most hateful glare I have ever seen and said that she didn't feel safe being in the same house with a non-JW. Her and my step-son immediately called their mentally ill mother, who is a pathological liar and has narcissistic personality disorder with Machiavellian traits. This is a woman who has been living a complete double life for years and has been dodging the elders for the last year. Who just married a non-JW man that she's been dating for the last 2 1/2 years at least, but refused to admit to my husband that he even existed until after she was married, who had a fb under a false name to hide her second life, who secretly celebrates all the holidays, and who told the kids to lie for her when they spent time with her boyfriend. She also has slandered my husband to the extreme throughout the community and put him through hell in court. We have enough dirt on her to get her disfellowshipped 5 times over and have for years, but we haven't wanted to cause more problems in the co-parenting relationship and my husband is very non-confrontational. Yet because she still claims to be a Jehovah's Witness and the kids are unaware of the many times she's thrown them under the bus when it suited her needs, she's just a wonderful person in their eyes. So she drove over right away to pick them up now that I've apparently revealed that I'm "evil."

The kids lied to their bio-mom and told her that I yelled at them, when I didn't even slightly raise my voice, but rather very kindly explained a couple of reasons that I didn't believe in being a JW anymore. My non-JW sister is a witness to this and let the kids know that she is a witness to the fact that I never yelled at them and was actually being very calm and loving in my explanation.

I explained to my step-kids that I love them very much and that I haven't changed. They said that they didn't want me to be their mother anymore if I wasn't a JW and that they didn't want to come to this house anymore as long as I wasn't a JW. This really hurt because I have sacrificed so much for their sakes over the years and always put them far above myself and have loved them and treated them like my own children.

I have always been very honest with them, honesty is one of my core values, and yet they insisted that I was lying about the shunning policies and the only JWs will survive Armageddon teaching. I told that I could show them in the Watchtower these exact teachings, but they refused to look at the Watchtower and continually called me a liar. I told them that I am not asking them not to be JWs and that I will love them the same no matter what and respect whatever decision they make. I told them that my love for them is unconditional, no matter what they believe, and I hope they can give me the same unconditional love.

Honestly, it disturbs me that these kids have been going to the Kingdom Hall since they were born and they don't even know what their own religion actually teaches. And the hateful way they treated me for believing differently was especially disturbing. I realize now more than ever how important it is to get them out of this cult. They aren't baptized yet thank goodness, so there is still time and hope.

As for my husband, I found out after talking to him that he has mostly been mentally out for years and has just been going through the motions for me and his family for years now. So he is actually overall happy that I'm leaving, except for the issues that it will cause with his family. I just feel really sad that he wasn't able to honestly tell me his feelings until I woke up for myself. No one should be forced to live a lie. I have always supported him 100% and would have never asked him to be part of a religion he was having doubts about. My non-JW mother raised be to be respectful of other people's beliefs and culture. He is very non-confrontational, so I feel this is the main reason that he has simply gone with the flow. He also told me that he didn't want to discourage me by telling me his doubts just in case it was the truth. It is truly sad that this cultish religion prevents even husbands and wives and children and parents from being honest with each other.

Honestly, at this point I just want to get it over with and disassociate from this nonsense religion. I feel bad that I let myself get duped for the last 20 years. I am trying to self-evaluate and understand how I let myself believe and be a part of so much craziness and mind-control for so long. I realize now that I am not as much of an independent thinker as I thought I was. I care about and love my husband very much though, so I will do what I can to be respectful and understanding of his situation with his family. I will do what I can to respect his wish for me to simply fade.

I still want to believe in God and Christ though. I want to believe that all the people that have had very difficult, sad and painful lives will have a chance to be happy and loved. That God will make all things right and that there is real justice in this world. I have many questions about the Bible, especially the OT, but now is just the beginning of my journey to answer those questions.