Terry
It might sound like fun but lurking deep in your memory bank are all the emotions you experience as a JW. Many of them were, at the time, happy and deeply satisfying.
Emotions are not entirely logical and can continue to feel drawn to things that you have valued in the past even though your reasoning mind has thrown them away.
The happiness you felt as a JW has been replaced with anger and outrage. Stirring up conflicting emotions is a dangerous occupation. You have made the break, why unsettle you self by revisiting a past that has also caused you so much pain.
As they say - Let sleeping dogs lie.
Agony Aunt Trevor