For those raised or who got the ‘truth’ at a young age, how have you been able to handle the reality that you are in fact, eventually, going to die in this ‘system’?
For me, this was a real hard reality check. As a witness, my entire life I was convinced that I would see Armageddon, that I wouldn’t grow old and die. Now that I am ‘out’, it has been an emotion shock to now have to accept the fact that I will have to eventually watch my parents die, watch my family die, and eventually I too will have to say goodbye to my kids when I die.
It’s quite damaging really… most people learned about death at a young age, it’s normal to live knowing you’ll eventually die. For me, that thought never once entered my mind. It’s been a shocker to say the least to have to accept that truth, that reality that I will get old and eventually die. An extremely sad reality for me.
It's a difficult thing to wrap your mind around. I can clearly remember being told that I would not graduate from elementary school because Armageddon™ would happen before that. Not only did I finish grade school, but high school and college as well. I can clearly remember being scolded for having children This Side of Armageddon™, because The End Is So Near™. Now I have children who are practically grown up in their own right. I can clearly remember being scolded for enrolling in college in my early 30s, being mocked that I was wasting my time because Armageddon Is Just Around The Corner™.
Apart from a 12-year gap between graduating from high school and going to college (and getting married and having a family in the interim), life has proceeded almost normally for me. But like you said, one of the most difficult things to accept was the idea that I was not going to Live Forever In Paradise On Earth™.
Then I started to think about why the WTS would want us to believe that we could Live Forever In Paradise On Earth™. What was the payoff for them if we really believed that part of their mythology? A look at the lives of many JW old-timers was quite revealing:
- No education beyond the basics. This keeps the JWs tethered to the belief system by a corollary belief that After Armageddon™, you would have all the time in the world to pursue educational ventures.
- No financial security (pension, retirement savings, investments). JWs have been led to believe that these material things are potential stumbling blocks to spirituality. They have been led to believe that they can just scoop up the spoils of other peoples' homes/wealth After Armageddon™, but they have to Wait On Jehovah™ rather than working to acquire those things now.
- Discouraging childbearing - the JW becomes wholly dependent on other JWs in similar circumstances for social / familial interaction. The congregation becomes a surrogate family. The JW has no extra mouths to feed, and is more likely to spend time serving WTS's interests (Pioneering™, etc.) and also disposable income is more likely to flow in WTS's direction. Any estate that the person might accumulate through their lifetime is more likely to be given to the WTS upon their death.
When I realized that I did not have Forever™ to get those things done - that Living Forever In Paradise On Earth™ was just a big fat MYTH - I stopped being complacent about my future. I went to college and got the education and the job I wanted. We started saving and investing for our retirement years. We helped our children with their educational goals. We bought a house. We started a successful business. We loosened the shackles of what we had to Wait On Jehovah™ for, and started living the kind of life that we wanted to have NOW.
I'm not afraid of dying now, because I'm really living now. When I think about how I felt as a JW, it was as though I was afraid of living andafraid of dying because we weren't really living our lives. We were merely existing, while we Waited On Jehovah™.
