Posts by troubled

After much soul searching, I've decided to abandon this board. I have learned a great deal, and what I've read has expanded my view. So as I leave, I'll not be sorry for the time I spent here.

However, since I've read and posted here, it has become increasingly clear that the main purpose of this board is to support ex-Witnesses. Therefore, as a currently active JW, when I make a post to express my feelings, I inevitably end up stoking up the pain and anger of others who have been hurt by the organization. This has never been my intention. I have no malice toward any of you.

So I leave this board without bad feelings and grateful for the information I've gained. I will think about the posts I've read. And regardless of your view of JWs, I wish only the best for you.

Goodbye.

36

Watchtower Exploitation Begins!

by metatron in

jw
friends

over the weekend, various publishers/congregations were.

instructed to go out in service for a "special work".. some congregations received letters from circuit overseers.

emphasizing immediate use of old awake magazines with articles.

troubled

Sf,

I do not know your circumstances, but can tell you are angry, bitter, and very hurt. I do not know your exact circumstances, but your pain bleeds through the words you've typed.

I have no interest in war with you. You are a fellow human being who has been terribly hurt by something . And despite our differences and the pain you're feeling, I hope you find peace of mind in whatever way you must.

JWs are Not Unfeeling Automatons

by troubled in

jw
friends

please see my comments under the thread about "watchtower exploitation.

" thanks.

troubled

Please see my comments under the thread about "Watchtower Exploitation." Thanks.

36

Watchtower Exploitation Begins!

by metatron in

jw
friends

over the weekend, various publishers/congregations were.

instructed to go out in service for a "special work".. some congregations received letters from circuit overseers.

emphasizing immediate use of old awake magazines with articles.

troubled

Larc,

Point taken. Thanks for expressing your feelings.

4

JW's attitude towards survivors of 9/11/2001

by Mulan in

jw
friends

a friend got an email from her dub sister, back east.

she told her that they had a report in their congregation that there were 72 witnesses inside the towers when the planes hit.

it makes all of us, here, so angry at that attitude.

troubled

Mulan,

Please see my posts on the thread about Watchtower Exploitation.

36

Watchtower Exploitation Begins!

by metatron in

jw
friends

over the weekend, various publishers/congregations were.

instructed to go out in service for a "special work".. some congregations received letters from circuit overseers.

emphasizing immediate use of old awake magazines with articles.

troubled

PS

One last thought about Armageddon. Who knows what circumstances might happen between now and then that might move many others to embrace God and Truth? In a case like that, 99% of humans would not be destroyed.

Also, since Jehovah is the reader of hearts, if he sees many, many loving persons would embrace Truth if they had different circumstances, exposure to information, biological makeup, opportunity, etc., I'm sure He will take this also into consideration.
Sometimes I think about Ninevah. How he had Jonah give the warning of destruction. But due to the hearts and responses of people, He did not bring such a destruction after all. We know what He has said in his Word, the Bible. But we can't see the whole picture. The details, extenuating circumstances, and complexities behind each person's life decisions, etc. Or the situations where persons have been hurt by the organization. But Jehovah knows these things. It is He who will ultimately decide who will live in his righteous new world.

There's so much more we don't know. But I believe Jehovah will be fair in his decisions. More and more, I see how flawed, vulnerable, and human we all are. Truly, we are dust. Myself included. Despite the flaws and errors in the organization, I have chosen (up to now) to stay in this religious organization. However, I do not ever pretend to be the judge who will decide the fate of my fellow human or determine his/her worthiness for everlasting life.

I love God and people. I admit my weaknesses and lack of full knowledge. I see where the BG has made some serious errors with people's lives. But for now, Jehovah's organization is the place I want to be.

I think I am different from most of you in that I was NOT raised in this religion. Therefore, I did not feel FORCEd to do it. Also, I had a great deal of freedom before becoming a JW. And while I prize freedom and use of intelligence and reason, I did not find complete fulfillment in this world's hodgepodge of abstract ideas where no answer can ever be pinned down, where a thousand various ideas are all right, and where every truth is "relative."

Despite the many flaws and failings in myself, in my fellow JWs, and in the organization, at present it is still the place I want to be. I don't know if I will be next month, next year, next decade. As I said, I have some serious spiritual issues I am dealing with myself.

But to portray all JWs as callous, exploitative automatons simply isn't true. I don't want people to be killed at Armageddon, I do not refer to non-JWs as "goats" or joke that after Armageddon, "I want that house!" I hope only for a happy outcome in the end. There are many good and loving people in this world.

36

Watchtower Exploitation Begins!

by metatron in

jw
friends

over the weekend, various publishers/congregations were.

instructed to go out in service for a "special work".. some congregations received letters from circuit overseers.

emphasizing immediate use of old awake magazines with articles.

troubled

Metatron,

I too must respond to your posts.

As you know, if you have read any of my previous posts, I am an active JW. However, I do not believe it is a perfect religion, that we have a grasp on absolute knowledge, or that the GB has never made errors. In fact, I have my own personal struggle in certain areas of our religion, which I am trying to weigh, evaluate, research, and come to grips with.

However, it is unkind and untrue to categorize all JWs into a group and portray them as unfeeling, exploitative humans waiting to capitalize on the suffering of others. This is my own personal experience.

My husband and I were on vacation when we heard about the disasters at the World Trade Center and the Pentagon. The news was devastating to us, just as it must have been to most other humans living in our country. We cut our trip short and returned home. Not because we were afraid, but because it didn't feel like "vacation" anymore. I couldn't keep enjoying the majestic, pristine beauty of the Canadian Rockies, knowing that at that same moment, so many others were suffering such unspeakable suffering and tragedy.

Since that day, I have continued in my normal routine, but things do not feel normal to me. I have a heavy sadness in my heart that weighs me down. I've had trouble sleeping since then. I go back and forth between watching the news and having to get away from it. It feels so emotionally overwhelming. Not because I'm surprised it is happening, but because it still hurts to see people suffer and in pain. (By the way, our congregation was never instructed not to watch the news.)

I went out in the ministry Saturday AM, not to exploit people or play on human tragedy. I went because I knew that if others felt the way I did, they could use some comfort. I almost didn't go. I told my husband, "I don't know if I can do this today. I'm afraid I might cry at the door." He said if I did, it was OK. At least people would see that JWs are people with feelings. Gladly, I made it through field service without crying. But I have cried on and off in the past week and feel deeply for everybody who is grieving, afraid, and in pain.
My goal on Saturday wasn't to sell magazines. I didn't ask for money. I rarely do. Just prepared a few scriptures in case I met someone it might help. The direction we got from the CO was "Just let them talk. Don't preach to them; just show you care and offer comfort if you can." I don't think I was able to do much. I wish I could do more. No, I'm not giving blood, saluting the flag, or advocating war. But I would gladly dig through the rubble myself if I was able. Believe me. It's true.

With respect to your comment about Armageddon, it has always been the hope of JWs that the majority of mankind gain life, not be destroyed. Who said 99 percent of humankind would be killed off at Armageddon? Yes, we believe God is using an organization here on earth to gather people for survival into a new earth. But Jehovah is the ultimate Judge. He sees the whole of a matter and can read the heart. Not us. OK. Maybe sometimes we forget that.

Anyway, I've rambled way too long. But I just needed to express how I feel.

5

Update for SixofNine

by troubled in

jw
friends

hi sixofnine,.

yes, i think my depression is getting a little better.

i think alot of it is that i've finally been able to admit to myself, to my therapist, and to my one nonjudgmental friend at the hall that i do indeed have some spiritual concerns and doubts.

troubled

Thank you, SixofNine and Seeker, so much for your responses.