Had Enough,
I am truly sorry to hear of the treatment you had to endure. It is difficult to understand how someone could keep a child from an ailing desperate father in such a way, and still sleep at night, much less imagine they are rendering a service to God. No wonder we all come here and discuss these things again and again. It takes a long time to learn to live with things like what you described.
truman
JoinedPosts by truman
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16
Escaped with my life!
by truman ini wanted to give an update to all those who kindly offered suggestions on how to deal with my jw son's ultimatum' "go tell the elders, or i will".. these last few days have been an intense crash course in life for me.
having experienced my firstborn son, whom i gave birth to, wiped his behind, dried his tears, and helped to grow to adulthood with loving support, threaten to turn me over to the "authorities" (elders) for wrong thinking and wrong speech, has been a deeply disturbing experience.
learning the truth about the "truth" was shocking, but this is just a crying tragedy.. after he found a short email from a board friend, which inadvertantly got into our regular email box instead of my private one, i was given a week to go to the elders.
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truman
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16
Escaped with my life!
by truman ini wanted to give an update to all those who kindly offered suggestions on how to deal with my jw son's ultimatum' "go tell the elders, or i will".. these last few days have been an intense crash course in life for me.
having experienced my firstborn son, whom i gave birth to, wiped his behind, dried his tears, and helped to grow to adulthood with loving support, threaten to turn me over to the "authorities" (elders) for wrong thinking and wrong speech, has been a deeply disturbing experience.
learning the truth about the "truth" was shocking, but this is just a crying tragedy.. after he found a short email from a board friend, which inadvertantly got into our regular email box instead of my private one, i was given a week to go to the elders.
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truman
God_Knows, and JeffT,
Thanks for the kind words!Amazing,
I will email you for that info. Thanks for the offer.joelbear,
I am glad you enjoyed "The Truman Show" as much as I did. Very sorry to learn you had to start from ground zero to build your life. I hope you are well into building a happy one!Francoise,
Be assured, my defenses are on full alert now. I agree, only God knows our hearts, but I will try to give the benefit of the doubt on his motivation, even though all doubt was removed concerning actions stemming from it. And yes, broken trust is extremely hard to rebuild. Right now, I cannot see any way we can ever regain the warm, close relationship we had before. It is a bottomless sorrow for me. But what can I do but pick up , go on, and wait till maybe someday he sees things without WT filters on his eyes, mind, and heart.Truman (tru-wo-man)
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12
A funny thing happened at the book store
by OrangeBlossom ini recently ordered another copy of "in search of christian freedom" as i got rid of my first one (long story) and since it had been a couple of years since i read it, i decided to get another one.. since i live in a fairly small town, i decided to give a fake name, in case someone worked at the book store that might be a jw.
it was saturday morning (a time when all good little jw's should be in field service) so i felt it safe to go pick up my book.
i walk into the store and headed for the counter but was stopped in my tracks by an elder and his family.
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truman
I am also paranoid about this whole thing, and given my recent experience and what happened to you, there is good reason to be. But even the paranoid can sometimes be right about their fears. So maybe it is not so much paranoia, as just plain necessary caution.
If I was still into that superstitious stuff, I might begin to wonder!
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16
Escaped with my life!
by truman ini wanted to give an update to all those who kindly offered suggestions on how to deal with my jw son's ultimatum' "go tell the elders, or i will".. these last few days have been an intense crash course in life for me.
having experienced my firstborn son, whom i gave birth to, wiped his behind, dried his tears, and helped to grow to adulthood with loving support, threaten to turn me over to the "authorities" (elders) for wrong thinking and wrong speech, has been a deeply disturbing experience.
learning the truth about the "truth" was shocking, but this is just a crying tragedy.. after he found a short email from a board friend, which inadvertantly got into our regular email box instead of my private one, i was given a week to go to the elders.
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truman
Orange Blossom-
He is a MS, and goes to the same cong. as me. As to whether he will ever change his mind, who can say. A few months ago, I would have said I would never change my mind on the org. The way he is now, I think he is impervious. But even though he can be hard-headed when his defenses are up, basically he is a reasonable person. I believe it will take some disillusioning experiences within the org. to work on him. If he becomes an elder, no doubt, he will see much he is unaware of now. He is only 24, so has a lot to learn about life. I can only stand and watch, as I have already burned my bridges when it comes to discussing this subject with him.
Yes, I did take the "truman" name from the movie. The title character's struggle to escape from the idealized world in which he is unknowingly imprisoned touched me deeply. Throughout the movie, elements of mind control techniques are used to keep him under the control of the master manipulators in whose clutches he is caught, and they use him to further their commercial and business interests. His behavior is monitored and subtly molded, fears are deeply planted in his mind towards methods of escape, and his access to outside information is tightly controlled. All is justified as an effort to protect him and love him.
As unmistakeable evidence of "all is not as it appears" becomes too much to ignore, he begins his struggle for freedom. He realizes his cozy life and relationships are hollow. He must pursue his goal secretely, for at every turn he is thwarted. But he doesn't give up, and eventually he overcomes his fears and prevails.
As he literally bumps up against the wall of reality, he speaks for the 1st time to the god-like figure who runs the whole enterprise, and asks 3 questions.
Who are you?
Who am I?
Was nothing real?
YOU were real.......... is the answer to the 3rd question.That is my new way of trying to look at things. I am real, and always was.
OR....it could be just a movie.
Thanks for you kind support!
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16
Escaped with my life!
by truman ini wanted to give an update to all those who kindly offered suggestions on how to deal with my jw son's ultimatum' "go tell the elders, or i will".. these last few days have been an intense crash course in life for me.
having experienced my firstborn son, whom i gave birth to, wiped his behind, dried his tears, and helped to grow to adulthood with loving support, threaten to turn me over to the "authorities" (elders) for wrong thinking and wrong speech, has been a deeply disturbing experience.
learning the truth about the "truth" was shocking, but this is just a crying tragedy.. after he found a short email from a board friend, which inadvertantly got into our regular email box instead of my private one, i was given a week to go to the elders.
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truman
I know, Seeker, I know..........
I understand where it comes from, and my own responsibility in its construction, but it still makes me so sad for both of us, and all who have had to go through this.Thanks
Truman (tru-wo-man)
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5
Necessary change; my distressing situation
by LostMyReligion ini just need to let everyone know that i need to change my screen name.
if you read my topic on "help!
my son wants to tell elders about me", then you know that i had an email from a board friend inadvertantly get into my family mail box, and was discovered by my jw son while visiting.
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truman
Hi Simon,
Happy to be able to speak to you for the first time. Yes, I would indeed like to have my posts swapped over to the "truman" screen name. Thanks a lot, and thanks too for this board for us to enjoy!Truman/LMR
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16
Escaped with my life!
by truman ini wanted to give an update to all those who kindly offered suggestions on how to deal with my jw son's ultimatum' "go tell the elders, or i will".. these last few days have been an intense crash course in life for me.
having experienced my firstborn son, whom i gave birth to, wiped his behind, dried his tears, and helped to grow to adulthood with loving support, threaten to turn me over to the "authorities" (elders) for wrong thinking and wrong speech, has been a deeply disturbing experience.
learning the truth about the "truth" was shocking, but this is just a crying tragedy.. after he found a short email from a board friend, which inadvertantly got into our regular email box instead of my private one, i was given a week to go to the elders.
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truman
I wanted to give an update to all those who kindly offered suggestions on how to deal with my JW son's ultimatum' "go tell the elders, or I will".
These last few days have been an intense crash course in life for me. Having experienced my firstborn son, whom I gave birth to, wiped his behind, dried his tears, and helped to grow to adulthood with loving support, threaten to turn me over to the "authorities" (elders) for wrong thinking and wrong speech, has been a deeply disturbing experience. Learning the truth about the "truth" was shocking, but this is just a crying tragedy.
After he found a short email from a board friend, which inadvertantly got into our regular email box instead of my private one, I was given a week to go to the elders. The note was not very, very incriminating, but problematic, containing a couple of cynical comments about the conv., and a reference to support discussions. This combined with what I had unwisely confided in him a few weeks earlier about my doubts, pumped up by recent convention exhortations about loyalty to Jehovah rather than to family, were an explosive combination.
Many here offered helpful insight and suggestions, and most importantly support which helped me feel a little less alone. I also recieved some invaluable guidance from a private correspondence with a reader of the board. I was advised how to get through it without losing everything. So I went pre-emptively to a kindly elder, told him of my depression, concern over the generation issue, and a little about the note, telling him that my son had given me the ultimatum. I tried to be as honest as I could without revealing anything really harmful. By going ahead of my son, I was able to control the information from the start. The elder was sympathetic, told me I needed to do more personal study, and tried to comfort my fears. At this point, I am cautiously optimistic that it will go no further.
Having to deal with my son in this adversarial manner is very hard, but after seeing how he has chosen to treat me, and some of the things he did, I am more firmly resolved to protect myself from future incursions of his zealousness. Not only did he read an email addressed to me in my home, he made a copy of it, and showed it to an elder friend in another cong. (This one said he would take no action, but let my son handle it.) Then he had the nerve to tell me he was put off by the blunt way I asked for it to be returned as my property. I told him, I was pretty put off by what he had done. I tried to pacify him by telling him a little of the elder conference, but he did not seem very satisfied. I think he was expecting me to get in a lot more trouble. He expressed the thought that he did not think everything got told. I said what did he want, me DF'd, He said no, he wanted me to go back the way I was before.
We tried to make peace, but things are somewhat strained. There is now a level of distrust which I know is more or less permanent, not only of him for me, but me of him as well. Anyway I have to be very careful, so I needed to go back to the "Truman" screen name I used when I briefly posted a couple of months ago. We also changed our password on the computer, so he no longer has access. What a shame to have to deal so with beloved family members! Even my husband who is still basically a believer, though long inactive, was pretty appalled by the way my son acted. A mind is a terrible thing to waste, and I see now his is a WT wasteland.
Truman (Tru-wo-man) (formerly LMR)
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11
Poor JW children again (touching a sore tooth)
by Mommie Dark ini've been reading the thread about children and brooding over the whole issue of kids-n-cults for a couple of days now.
yesterday i had to outwait a group of immovable amish youth blocking the doorway out of the local grocery store(to many local amish, 'english' are generally invisible unless they want to sell us something.
), and they got mixed into the brain stew with the jw kids and the recent moral self-righteousness of certain jw posters here.
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truman
Mommie Dark mentions the Paradise book. I have always been appalled at that book. My first encounter with it was at about age 14 or so when the JW mother of one of my mom's friends gave me one. Being the kind of person who always starts reading at the back of the book, it did not take long to come across the horrifying depictions on pg 208-209 and the accompanying quotes from Zachariah about eyes and tongues rotting out. I did not become a witness for more than 5 more years and in another city, but the memory of that book has always disturbed me. Also,after talking to me a couple of times about such things as evolution and miracles, this woman told my mother (who told me) that I was an example of the failure of the American school system. I should have hung on tighter to these bits of info, but my mother died when I was eighteen, and I was in distress over that, when I learned all the "answers" from JW. Now it is almost 30 years later.
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27
I hope this is a friendly place
by truman ini hope this is a friendly place, because i could sure use some friends.
this is my first try at posting on a discussion board, though i have been lurking here and at a few others on the same subject for a few weeks now.
about 4 weeks ago i took the plunge and decided to see just what all the mystery and danger of reading "apostate" material was all about.
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truman
Thanks larc and riz. I sometimes am a reasonably intelligent and sane person. But fear and paranoia founded or unfounded, that is where I am at this moment. I appreciate the encouragement, and of course you are right. By the way, just to clear up any confusion which may be caused due to my user name, I am of the female persuasion. I chose the name Truman because I identified so strongly with the movie character in the Jim Carrey movie, "The Truman Show".I see so many reflections of my present struggle in that story. I was not trying to be fooling anyone. Sorry if there was any misunderstanding.
Truman
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27
I hope this is a friendly place
by truman ini hope this is a friendly place, because i could sure use some friends.
this is my first try at posting on a discussion board, though i have been lurking here and at a few others on the same subject for a few weeks now.
about 4 weeks ago i took the plunge and decided to see just what all the mystery and danger of reading "apostate" material was all about.
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truman
Thanks, Patio34. I have not revealed anything to him yet, and am trying to keep on as much of an even keel as I can for as long as I can. I am scared stiff, about everything. Right now it is the middle of the night and I cannot sleep from worrying that I have revealed too much in my messages here and that somehow it will boomerang on me. I came in to edit and delete things I was too worried about. Someone mentioned a rollercoaster. How do I get off this thing? I feel like I have become what the WT says, something evil that complains and beats his brothers. It is all very distressing.
Truman