Don't meet with them, use the excuse you are suffering from depression and not able to discuss things at this time. Do not speak to them in person, as they will not respect boundries. They kept pushing until my son had a breakdown and still didn't stop. They do not control you no matter what they think. Hint around of depression to mom and let her know talkig to Elders could push you over edge. Mom may likely go into mama bear mode and start protecting you.
My son said looking back he would not meet with the Elders. It just gives them power. You have your dad convinced as I said above now try to get mom in protective mode. We mom are usually protective of those who want to hurt our children no matter how old our children are,