ALONE with GOD and melted ice cream
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Once upon a time God was all alone. For a god, “alone” is a problem. What's so great about being great if you're the one telling yourself, "I'm so great"?
God is that incredible cask of brandy in the cool, dark cellar...presumably getting better and better with the passing years.
But, ALONE--means nobody drinks.
Nobody drinks because nobody is there to drink. And nobody thinks the brandy is the best because--well--nobody drinks.
That’s the problem of “alone.”
Saying aloud: “GOD is everything” without demonstrating it can be hilarious.
It’s like that joke about the fast-draw gunslinger who shows you how fast he is by just standing there for awhile until you grow impatient and then he says, “Wanna seem me do it again?”
God's demonstration joke: invisible greatness!
Hear that? It’s the sound of no hands clapping.
Zen is the art of hearing one hand clapping.
But God alone is the no-sound of no-hand not-clapping.
Invisible is as invisible does.
God once was alone.
How long? Ummm…
Psst--(there was no time)
Oh dear!
Being alone just hanging in the middle of a great dark nothing is a bore.
Annihilation means everything is destroyed--right?
Total annihilation and being alone and being God is awfully similar.
All those exploded pieces could be reassembled if you’re God.
But there weren’t any pieces of anything BEFORE pieces were “created.”
(Psst, get to the part about ‘something out of nothing’. Go on--do it.)
So, once upon a time an all alone God created something out of nothing.
How?
What do you care? You wouldn’t understand.
Next question.
Why create anything or anybody?
Duh. Alone! Alone is awful.
How do you know you’ll create something good and useful and perfect if you’ve never done it before?
Oh, pleeeease! Don’t be an idiot. Just go along with it.
Talent. Even genius! God wouldn’t be god otherwise.
Okaaay.
Why is everything such a big mess?
Because God created ice cream. Ice cream melts. You have to eat it fast.
WTF?
You have to give a reason why things are awful.
The best way to do that is to blame God. Blame the person who gave you the ice cream.
ICE CREAM is wonderful...but if (psst) YOU don’t eat it fast...it melts. That is an awful mess. Now that’s on YOU.
Get it?
Nope.
Try harder, because if you don’t get it you’ll fall into despair about melted ice cream and sadness and depression will pull you down.
Why is this MY fault?
It’s not. It’s your responsibility to prevent the mess by eating the ice cream in a timely fashion.
Are you really going to pull that crap? The world is a big mess because all the billions of people aren’t eating their ice cream fast enough?
Well, it’s an analogy.
It sucks.
Okay. One more.
Would you prefer God remained alone...all alone...hanging in the cold, dark nothing for all Eternity (even though time didn’t exist)?
Of course not. That’s reducing everything down to absurdity.
Is it absurd? Why?
Because a truly perfect God would create and MAINTAIN a perfect world of perfect people the way a gardener plants a garden and pulls up weeds and sprays for insects so the beautiful things flourish.
Ha! You have forgotten about the (cough cough) GARDEN of pleasure? Eden?
Don’t give me that fantasy myth as an explanation. I’m not a moron or a child.
Well, I’m just sayin’...there was a wonderful garden. And the Master Gardener tossed out the weeds and stepped on the serpent. R-I-I-I-GHT?
Bullshit.
Why bullshit?
I’ll tell you why. HUMAN NATURE.
God invented it.
The nature of god is entirely other than human.
God isn’t hungry. God doesn’t have needs for tasty fruit.
God is wisdom--doesn’t NEED to eat fruit to gain wisdom.
God created INFERIOR creatures UNLIKE god-ness.
That “human” nature is entirely enslaved to its “needs” for survival.
Curiosity, hunger, thirst, lust, ambition, emotional instability...the list is endless.
Go on--go on--don’t stop now.
God devised something which looks an awful lot like a TRAP. “Here is your garden. Here are the fruit trees you can eat from. But...but…
But do NOT eat from the one tree which will make you LIKE ME!
Because if you are like me--you’ll know Good and Bad.
So--you call that “bullshit”? Why?
I’ll tell you why--it is a CATCH 22 trap. Human Nature.
You don’t put person who doesn’t know good from bad on trial for doing “bad.” And look at the motive: wanting to be LIKE GOD, knowing good from bad. See how F-d up that is? Entrapment, pure and simple.
Oh dear, what a silly argument. God gives you legs but you want wings too? You are missing the obvious aren’t you?
Which is what? Do tell me.
The term “unique” means nothing else is like it.
God is the “most” and it logically follows anything and everything other than this unique “most” is “lesser than”.
You call it “inferior” nature. But it’s unavoidable. God cannot be “most” and you be “most” also. It isn’t a question of inferiority because God gave guidance around the “less than most” problem. God gave specific instructions.
Huh?
You missed the most beautiful point of all. This is the BEST of all POSSIBLE worlds. But it is only good and not perfect in the way God is perfect. That is not a problem unless you fail to follow the easy instructions.
What instructions?
Follow my directions and you’ll have everything your nature requires.
Fail to follow directions and your ice cream melts and you’ll spend your time mostly sopping up that mess and dealing with soiled laundry.
So?
So SHUT UP and eat your ice cream, you spoiled rotten kid!
