WhoLovesMagic

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Posts by WhoLovesMagic

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  9

  "Dead man walking", my resurrection

  by MissFit in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  as a jw, did you ever just resign yourself to being destroyed at armageddon because you knew you werent worthy?.

  for almost half my life i felt like i was under a death sentence- "a dead man walking.

  " i was my judge, jury and executioner.

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  WhoLovesMagic

  Misfit:  

  I could have written your post, we have the same story.... Other than the fact I am a 3rd gen born in.

  I merely went through the motions for the sake of my children's lives as I felt condemned.  My heart was bad, I found no joy in meetings or service.  My only hope was that my children would be spared while I perished at Armageddon.

  I never felt encouraged rather flogged each week from the platform.  Never good enough, not doing enough, not worthy!!

  To top it off, I was always on the fringe or treated as an outsider as I married an unbeliever. We weren't invited to gatherings, my kids left out as well.  No friends on the inside and I kept my distance from people on the outside.   A very lonely place.

  My last meeting the DC in 2010 and I've never looked back.  

  Im free and happy!!!  Thank you for your insightful post!!
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  64

  I'm new, please come and meet me!

  by Julia Orwell in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  long time lurker, first time poster.

  i'm really glad i can join your community because i've been in the wts for the last 14 years and now i'm on my way out and it's great to meet like-minded people!.

  about me: i started learning jw ways when i was in my teens.

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  WhoLovesMagic

  Hi Julia and welcome!!

  I am a newbie as well and like you a long time lurker. This is a great place and I am sure you will be able to gleam ideas on how to wake your husband up. Patience is the key!!
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  17

  Being an Orphan Hurts No Matter What Age

  by WhoLovesMagic in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  what kind of parents forget the day you were born?

  jehovah's witness(es)!!!.

  yes today is my 3rd birthday (only started celebrating 3 years ago).

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  WhoLovesMagic

  Thank you for the birthday wishes everyone!! I didn't mean to come across as desperately waiting by the telephone for a call. I forgot to preface this with my parents have always called me on my birthday, just to acknowledge it as a special day, remembering the day their first daughter was born. Of course beings JWs we never celebrated birthdays, but we always acknowledged the day verbally, for each of us in our family. Our relationship has deteriorated this past year to the point we no longer speak, which I find heartbreaking considering the circumstances. Regarding my birthday, I had a wonderful evening surrounded by those who cherish and love me for who I am. I am far happier out than I was ever in!!!
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  17

  Being an Orphan Hurts No Matter What Age

  by WhoLovesMagic in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  what kind of parents forget the day you were born?

  jehovah's witness(es)!!!.

  yes today is my 3rd birthday (only started celebrating 3 years ago).

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  WhoLovesMagic

  What kind of parents forget the day you were born? Jehovah's Witness(es)!!!

  Yes today is my 3rd birthday (only started celebrating 3 years ago). I am actually 48 and it hurts that my parents will not acknowledge me.

  I am still waiting by the phone, though deep in my heart, I know the call will not come. I am not DF'd and I haven't DA'd. Born in and started my fade summer 2010, fully out by February 2011. Parents know I am no longer attending meetings and know that I won't ever go back.

  Its funny, I am holding off DAing just for them, as they have dedicated their entire lives to the Org - I do not want to crush them. But what does it really matter anyway, I am as good as dead to them.
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  15

  Practical Problems Arising From Leaving Jehovah's Witnesses - not on jw.org

  by InterestedOne in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  what practical problems arise from leaving jehovah's witnesses?

  this question was inspired by a poster whose jw friend refused to be a reference for an apartment.

  i wonder if most jw's know deep down that they need to maintain some ties with non-jw's in case they find themselves either deciding to leave or ostracized for some reason..

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  WhoLovesMagic

  Return of Parakeet provided very sound advice. And 00Dad right on with your analysis as to the reason why.

  Adding to RofP, it is extremely difficult for young adults to break free and start their life from scratch when they loose their entire support network, financially, physically and emotionally.

  My kids friends, some whom are on the fence JWs are in that very predicament. They are confused, afraid the loose their family/friends and paralyzed with fear as how to enter the world, where or how to begin. They have been kept in a bubble their entire life as parents coddled and helicoptered over them fearing the end was coming before they would enter high school - and quite a few are home schooled. The few I have met are drifting aimlessly without emotional support from their own parents other than bribes to stay in, bribes of money, possessions, love etc, thereby hindering the growth of them into mature individuals who are self sufficient.

  My heart goes out to these kids and I found that I have become a surrogate mother helping them with decision making when entering college, encouraging them when they need support, giving accolades when they do well and listening when they are feeling down. I want to see each and every young adult succeed. I was robbed of my youth and pursuing a higher education - the least I can do is help them!!
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  41

  Our Story

  by Auntfancy in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hi everyone, i have been on here for a little while and haven't introduced myself to you.

  i can't tell you how much all of you have helped me sort many things out in my mind.. i was raised in a very good christian home and married my hs sweetheart.

  i left home and moved half way across the country with a husband and a brand new baby.

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  WhoLovesMagic

  Congratulations Aunt Fancy!! Now you can put all that behind you!!
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  20

  Who have you lost?

  by Strawberryfieldsforever in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i was just thinking the other day how small our family is now that we aren't jw's.

  we are thankful that we at least have our children!

  my husband lost his mom and dad and only sister and her husband and all their children.

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  WhoLovesMagic

  The only people I care about -- my parents.... at a time I needed them most!!!

  My only sibling is considered a weak jw and too busy trying to survive the daily grind of life. She is non-judgemental and aware of my feelings. She accepts me no matter what I choose to believe.

  All the other "friends" were collateral damage of fading... never had any true friends at the KH. All conditional based on me being a drone.
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  41

  Our Story

  by Auntfancy in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hi everyone, i have been on here for a little while and haven't introduced myself to you.

  i can't tell you how much all of you have helped me sort many things out in my mind.. i was raised in a very good christian home and married my hs sweetheart.

  i left home and moved half way across the country with a husband and a brand new baby.

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  WhoLovesMagic

  Thank you all for the warm welcomes! I will write my own story at some point so as not to hijack Aunt Fancy's thread. After leaving the JWs, cancer was one of my few battles the last 2 years presented, so much for one person to bare and I am still coming to terms with it all.

  Aunt Fancy: I found being dxd with cancer shortly after finding the TTATT didnt enable me to feel anger about being raised in a cult until now, 2 years later but I don't really dwell on the fact as I cannot change it but instead I look for the positive I drew from the experience (to tell the truth it is hard to find the positive, but you have to do it to survive - it makes us reslilient) as I feel anger and bitterness could kill me or at least bring back the cancer - literally.

  I do find that at times I have PSTD or thats what I would call it, from the realization that I lost many friends and family at a time I needed them most and realizing the fact that I had the big C - I am the first in my family to be dxd with such. The pain of losing parents is immense to the point I feel orphaned - I am waiting for my elder/father to state to me that the reason my life turned out the way it did is because I left Jah.

  The silver lining that I focus on is that I do have my husband who has stuck by my side and I am grateful for him!! Its all a matter of perspective.

  Keep your head up, I too have good and bad days!! Both C's are psycologically mind altering, you need to dig deep to realize how resilient you are! Keep focussing on what you HAVE now. The present is a present.
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  41

  Our Story

  by Auntfancy in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hi everyone, i have been on here for a little while and haven't introduced myself to you.

  i can't tell you how much all of you have helped me sort many things out in my mind.. i was raised in a very good christian home and married my hs sweetheart.

  i left home and moved half way across the country with a husband and a brand new baby.

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  WhoLovesMagic

  Hi Aunt Fancy:

  This my first post, I have lurked for 2 years and had troubles signing up for an account the past 18 months , was only able to a few weeks ago and haven't put my story in words, but I can relate to your story so much that it brings tears to my eyes!!!

  February 2011 I came to terms with the TTATT, it was painful but I felt at peace, almost as if I died, coming to terms with my mortality and the realization that this life IS all we have, I was ready to seize the life I have and live it fully!!

  Then the rug was pulled from under me, a matter of weeks later I am diagnosed with cancer and I am relatively young, still in my 40's. It was a very confusing time for me because it had only been 6 months since my last meeting and a month from fully realizing that I would never go back! I felt as though I turned my back on god and left my what would be my support network behind.

  In retrospect this diagnosis and subsequent treatment fast forwarded my fade as my focus was on the battle for my life. I underwent the whole host of treatment, surgery, radiation and chemo. During this time, the treatment had me reliving my childhood (Im born in), of being humiliated and embarressed and of course I felt as though people pitied me, because of when undergoing cancer treatment everyone knows what is wrong with you and you see the looks. Just like when I was a kid. It was a horrible time for me.

  Well I soldiered through finishing treatement in the summer of 2011, without going back to the Hall, and losing many family and friends in the mean time, but I am far happier than if I stayed in. I feel incredibly free and liberated and for the first time in my life feel alive, enjoying the very essence of life!!

  At times it is hard not to feel ripped off in life, first having to escape one C - a cult, only to have to deal with another C - cancer on the heels of being liberated from the first but I am a far stronger person. I try to look for the silver lining - I appreciate each and every single day, don't waste time on anyone who doesn't accept and love you for you are - unconditionally and don't put off things you want to do, do everything you can NOW! Life is a gift not to be squandered, but enjoyed to the fullest! Wish you all the best Aunt Fancy!!!!