Posts by sOOner

68

Please, I am so upset...I need some hugs...

by Sentinel in

i am having a very difficult time and i am here right now because i know in my heart, that when i explain what has just happened to me a few minutes ago, you will understand.

many of you are no doubt going through the same thing.. within several posts here, i have spoken of my mother.

my dear sweet mother, who just turned 78, and who has been a faithful jw since 1959. she abandoned me in 1981, when i decided to leave the borg, and for twelve years she did not speak to me, write to me, call me, or visit me.

sOOner

we are now offically the "Four Muskateers"

yahoo~~~~

sOOner

4

The Yellow Brick Road....

by TheSurvivor in

i just heard elton john's song on the radio titled beyond the yellow brick road.

wow!

it now has a whole new meaning for me, can you guess what it is?........

sOOner

Yep,should have listened to your old dad~

<G>

sOOner

24

Changes—I'll show you mine . . .

by patio34 in

when leaving the borg, it takes time for our real identities to assert themselves or we try out new things to see what fits us and our life.

here are a couple of things that are new to me lately:.

1) after a frightening incident a week ago (but nothing happened) i purchased a can of pepper spray.

sOOner

Survivor,

I will always remember these words"Shoot and ask questions later"

sOOner

23

Warped....

by TheSurvivor in

i was born in the 50's and raised in the so called truth.

i began to see the light the same year i got my concealed weapons permit.

imagine that, a witness packing heat.

sOOner

Yes,Survivor there is a higher power and that BORG tornado is not the only road out of Kansas~

It may seem a bit dark at the moment but it does get brighter.

Why I even see those gold sparkles now

Welcome,you bring much LIGHT to this forum

sOOner

21

Dead Again?

by sOOner in

just sharing a bit of news that i recieved today from my only living parent,my mama.my mama is a full fledged in the borg programed subject.the phone call came today.she said she was a bad girl and had been disobedient and that this would be her last phone call.at first she softened the blow by saying "honey.i just called to tell you how much i love you"i responded with a inner smile and said "awe,that's so nice,i love you too"she then said "no,you don't understand i am calling to tell you that this will be our last communication other then emergency and death situations"i then kinda of lost it.i informed her that was crap!i mean back in 1981 you cut me and my siblings off for 12 years,then after we have survived or at least were functional in our lives you come back and say"opps,sorry but there is new light and now we can love you again".

during this time i being a dutiful daughter,forgave them and welcomed them back into my life which had been missing there love.it was so nice being able to do things for them and care for them when they were ill.visits became a yearly occurence and they even visited with me.. although this was not in the least unexpected,it is still a shock.i have reacted in various ways.if i am dead too her then she is dead too me.i don't give flowers to dead people,i show unconditional love to them when they are living and can recipercate by giving unconditional love in return.. as far as recieving health bulletins or in my case calling and saying"hi,mama my hep c is whatever".

i am not calling period.. it may seem foolish and childish but i have removed her pictures.the ones of her and dad together are still on my wall.. it is a sad day when your parent,the one who gave birth to you says she loves you but can't show you.. she said it is in the bible,but when my siblings and i ask where she says i can't tell you because you are in the dark and not allowing the light.

sOOner

The Survivor~

are you who I think you are?

just doing your thing?

sOOner

(((((((HUGS))))))

31

We're busier than ever !

by Simon in

well, despite some 'doom and gloom' predictions of our imminent demise, last week was the busiest ever for the site in terms of visits with just a few short of 52,000 beating even the dateline and panorama weeks !

(i think quite a few who found us then have stuck around).. a quick tally of the thread viewed counts shows that they have now been viewed over 9.5 million times !

(this is just threads, discounting all the other page views).

sOOner

Simon~I thank YOU for this great place to just "BE"

sOOner

68

Please, I am so upset...I need some hugs...

by Sentinel in

i am having a very difficult time and i am here right now because i know in my heart, that when i explain what has just happened to me a few minutes ago, you will understand.

many of you are no doubt going through the same thing.. within several posts here, i have spoken of my mother.

my dear sweet mother, who just turned 78, and who has been a faithful jw since 1959. she abandoned me in 1981, when i decided to leave the borg, and for twelve years she did not speak to me, write to me, call me, or visit me.

sOOner

morrisamb>When they realized how dead I was inside all those years without them

crying invisable tears.

I am sitting here reading the posts from my sister(Karen's) thread"I need a hug" and also checking out posts in my thread "Dead Again?

As I read these posts I do KNOW for a fact that this will probably be the end of my mama.She will be dead inside without us...she is old now 78,the BORG is set in her like cement,unmovable and permanent.

May the Borg hold her up and be there when she falls

I recall something she said to me a few years back.She held me and told me "the whole time (12) years that we didn't have any contac I thought about you,I looked at the sunrise and wondered how you were,I saw the sun set and wondered if you only knew how much I loved you"

I do know...I knew then and I know NOW~

I am a mother now...

I am feeling her turmoil in the deepest part of my being...my heart

sOOner

21

Dead Again?

by sOOner in

just sharing a bit of news that i recieved today from my only living parent,my mama.my mama is a full fledged in the borg programed subject.the phone call came today.she said she was a bad girl and had been disobedient and that this would be her last phone call.at first she softened the blow by saying "honey.i just called to tell you how much i love you"i responded with a inner smile and said "awe,that's so nice,i love you too"she then said "no,you don't understand i am calling to tell you that this will be our last communication other then emergency and death situations"i then kinda of lost it.i informed her that was crap!i mean back in 1981 you cut me and my siblings off for 12 years,then after we have survived or at least were functional in our lives you come back and say"opps,sorry but there is new light and now we can love you again".

during this time i being a dutiful daughter,forgave them and welcomed them back into my life which had been missing there love.it was so nice being able to do things for them and care for them when they were ill.visits became a yearly occurence and they even visited with me.. although this was not in the least unexpected,it is still a shock.i have reacted in various ways.if i am dead too her then she is dead too me.i don't give flowers to dead people,i show unconditional love to them when they are living and can recipercate by giving unconditional love in return.. as far as recieving health bulletins or in my case calling and saying"hi,mama my hep c is whatever".

i am not calling period.. it may seem foolish and childish but i have removed her pictures.the ones of her and dad together are still on my wall.. it is a sad day when your parent,the one who gave birth to you says she loves you but can't show you.. she said it is in the bible,but when my siblings and i ask where she says i can't tell you because you are in the dark and not allowing the light.

sOOner

I am sitting here just shaking my head.It is emotional blackmail.If you do this or do that I will love you and be in your life,if you don't well them I have to let you go.

Boom.

Well,this is the last time I am dropped.I was raised from the age of 12 in the BORG and that in it's self made me a prime target for being dysfuntional and socially retarded.Not knowing or having acquired the skills to exist in the REAL world.How to be in a world that I was taught to more or less ignore and be no part of.

At the same time wanting only to be accepted and loved.For all the wrong reasons I traveled down many a dark corridor.

The good part of all this is I have grown along the way.I have not laid out blame when it was a easy solution.My mama is doing the best she knows how to do.She is a puppet whose strings are pulled by misfits of a organization.They feel that they are losing there grip with many of there little secrets being open to worldwide scrutiny.

Just to mention a few:

The Library card and the UN

The Silent Lambs(child abuse within the org~BORG

The Blood Issue...

the list is growing

there scriptural reasoning just isn't getting it

This is the control,the power they have over in my case,my mother.It is not a situation,it is a OUTRAGE.In the name of LOVE they destroy the semblance of unity...the family unit.

Actually,when they say the "TRUTH" shall set you free ,they should also add that you will also be annilated from all those near and dear that do not believe.

In that respect,the TRUTH has set them free

I believe I was set FREE the day I walked a different path

a brighter path that I am still walking

and learning from every day

my mama is someone I will truly miss

I will always love her forever

sOOner

21

Dead Again?

by sOOner in

just sharing a bit of news that i recieved today from my only living parent,my mama.my mama is a full fledged in the borg programed subject.the phone call came today.she said she was a bad girl and had been disobedient and that this would be her last phone call.at first she softened the blow by saying "honey.i just called to tell you how much i love you"i responded with a inner smile and said "awe,that's so nice,i love you too"she then said "no,you don't understand i am calling to tell you that this will be our last communication other then emergency and death situations"i then kinda of lost it.i informed her that was crap!i mean back in 1981 you cut me and my siblings off for 12 years,then after we have survived or at least were functional in our lives you come back and say"opps,sorry but there is new light and now we can love you again".

during this time i being a dutiful daughter,forgave them and welcomed them back into my life which had been missing there love.it was so nice being able to do things for them and care for them when they were ill.visits became a yearly occurence and they even visited with me.. although this was not in the least unexpected,it is still a shock.i have reacted in various ways.if i am dead too her then she is dead too me.i don't give flowers to dead people,i show unconditional love to them when they are living and can recipercate by giving unconditional love in return.. as far as recieving health bulletins or in my case calling and saying"hi,mama my hep c is whatever".

i am not calling period.. it may seem foolish and childish but i have removed her pictures.the ones of her and dad together are still on my wall.. it is a sad day when your parent,the one who gave birth to you says she loves you but can't show you.. she said it is in the bible,but when my siblings and i ask where she says i can't tell you because you are in the dark and not allowing the light.

sOOner

just a TY for the replies and caring words.My heart is very heavy and yes it is as if it were a DEATH.It is over~

the relationship with the borg has once again torn another family apart that has tried so hard the past 10 years to mend.

So be it...

wonder what the NEXT new light will bring forth...

I can hardly wait:)

sOOner

68

Please, I am so upset...I need some hugs...

by Sentinel in

i am having a very difficult time and i am here right now because i know in my heart, that when i explain what has just happened to me a few minutes ago, you will understand.

many of you are no doubt going through the same thing.. within several posts here, i have spoken of my mother.

my dear sweet mother, who just turned 78, and who has been a faithful jw since 1959. she abandoned me in 1981, when i decided to leave the borg, and for twelve years she did not speak to me, write to me, call me, or visit me.

sOOner

My dear sister Karen/Sentinel,

Many hugs and more...and here are some tissues for you...soft and warm to wipe the tears away...

TY for your post and yes it is turning into a long night.mama said this was discussed in detail at the last two Tuesday night meeting.She also said that she was a very bad girl and had been disobedient.Does that not sound so childish? I mean we are speaking of a mother,our mother who gave birth to 3 daughters and has yet again cut us out of her life.I have not said Goodbye,but I have said Goodnight.It is finito for me.Just as we don't exist ,she no longer exists.

they have SPOKEN and she has OBEYED

She told Polly that I took it rather badly.I was a bit abrupt,and I did speak my mind.She will not have that control again,not ever.

Breathe in,breathe out

and "BE"

yourself...

scream and shout

laugh and cry

OUR emotions are ours...

Live your moments

sOoner/Sis>C