Posts by piztjw

37

Could they walk any slower on the ministry(tm)?

by punkofnice in

i was out in my car this saturday as i went to visit my friend.. i saw the jws scattered about mooching down the streets.. i arrived home in a different area to where my friend lives.

as i opened my door there was an invitation to the mock the christ ritual.

a group of jws mooched past my house, looked at me rather lethargically and carried on mooching along.. considering they don't know i'm an 'apostate(tm)', they certainly were in no hurry to beg me to come to their mock the christ charade considering that if i don't go jar-hoover will lovingly murder me soon (subject to overlapping(tm) ).. i know we had 'the pioneer walk(tm)' back in the day but puh-leeeeeeeze!

piztjw

@punk

And then they could claim that one of those $3.00 was an overlapping dollar.

37

Could they walk any slower on the ministry(tm)?

by punkofnice in

i was out in my car this saturday as i went to visit my friend.. i saw the jws scattered about mooching down the streets.. i arrived home in a different area to where my friend lives.

as i opened my door there was an invitation to the mock the christ ritual.

a group of jws mooched past my house, looked at me rather lethargically and carried on mooching along.. considering they don't know i'm an 'apostate(tm)', they certainly were in no hurry to beg me to come to their mock the christ charade considering that if i don't go jar-hoover will lovingly murder me soon (subject to overlapping(tm) ).. i know we had 'the pioneer walk(tm)' back in the day but puh-leeeeeeeze!

piztjw

I suppose it could be $7.00. But evidently (see what I did there?) the number two according to the WT&T$ means:

2 - Signifies solidly confirming a matter.

So $2.00 solidly confirms the need for the R&F to finance efforts to make sure those out door knocking are actually moving. In another soon to be released announcement the GB in their infinte love and concern for the elders taking the lead, are going to instruct the publishers to kindly fall down, as there is getting to be a significant burden on the elders being able to tell which publishers are just moving slowly, and those who have died.

Sorry for a slightly warped sense of humor y'all. But it keeps me sane.

37

Could they walk any slower on the ministry(tm)?

by punkofnice in

i was out in my car this saturday as i went to visit my friend.. i saw the jws scattered about mooching down the streets.. i arrived home in a different area to where my friend lives.

as i opened my door there was an invitation to the mock the christ ritual.

a group of jws mooched past my house, looked at me rather lethargically and carried on mooching along.. considering they don't know i'm an 'apostate(tm)', they certainly were in no hurry to beg me to come to their mock the christ charade considering that if i don't go jar-hoover will lovingly murder me soon (subject to overlapping(tm) ).. i know we had 'the pioneer walk(tm)' back in the day but puh-leeeeeeeze!

piztjw

This just in!

In a show of christian brotherly love the GB has decreed that all publishers must contribute $2.00 (US) per month per publisher to the WT&T$. This money will be lovingly provided to purchase giant bags of pre-popped popcorn for the use of publishers and pioneers while engaging in the field serve us. This arrangement will be of assistence in indicating the forward movement of these zealous kingdom proclaimers as they drop a kernal of popcorn every seven steps while shuffling along in the ever so important preaching work. Of course we understand the prophetic significance of SEVEN steps, seven meaning perfection. Brothers make sure to pick up an adequate supply of popcorn along with your magazines, books, and tracts after each meeting. Please be ASSured of our warm christian love.

24

A suggestion for Fading Dubs. STOP SINGING!!!

by DATA-DOG in

whether or not you realize it [ many of you do ], words have power.

think of the power of the human voice.

think of a beautiful song, or a symphony.

piztjw

Great advice. I no longer sing at the meetings, but it is fun to make up my own lyrics to the songs. Usually along the lines of threads I have read here. I also like to keep an open eye during prayers, just for the fun of it. And timing the prayers to see how long they run as the entire meetings agenda is repeated, counting the number of times the pray-er incants the name Jehovah or the term Father, or mentions "slave" or GB helps pass the time. Or the number of and-uh's, umm's, and so forth.

8

Crazy things witnesses have said to householders.

by LogCon in

a hungarian brother used to come up with some humdingers.

he was a child when his family escaped from hungary when the soviets came storming in about 1957. he would be at the door, a young person would answer, and he would ask him, 'what do you think of the situation?

' meanwhile the person is thinking, 'huh?".

piztjw

In the early seventies a "brother" read Revalation 21: 3-4 to the poor victim at the door. When the guy incredulously asked, "You mean to tell me that if I were bulding a house and smashed my thumb with a hammer, or cut of three or four fingers with a saw I wouldn't feel any pain from the injuries?"

The sap "brother" replied, "That's right. There will never be anymore pain, of any kind!"

What a dumb-ass!

8

Interesting Choice of Words

by piztjw in

i get into words, and why certain words are used, and the meaning of certain words as they are used, especially by the wt&t$.

i noticed the way this statement about relief work in the phillipines news article on j.worg was written:.

"an estimated 15 to 20 percent of those seeking refuge at the site are non-witnesses.".

piztjw

I get into words, and why certain words are used, and the meaning of certain words as they are used, especially by the WT&T$. I noticed the way this statement about relief work in the Phillipines news article on j.worg was written:

"An estimated 15 to 20 percent of those seeking refuge at the site are non-Witnesses."

What is telling about the way it is written is that Merriam-Webster defines the word non as 2 : of little or no consequence : unimportant : worthless. However the word not is defined simply as 1- used as a function word to make negative a group of words or a word. One way of writing would imply simply not JW's, while the way it is written is belittling, demeaning, and derogatory. I know that this probably doesn't matter to very many others and may be thought of as a very small thing, but it is many cummulative small drops of water that can form a river that will flow for years cutting into the earth creating something as large as the Grand Canyon. So too with the WT&T$. Many small seemingly insignificant affronts to human dignity will carve a chasm of indifference that will never be bridged.

27

So how many of us had guilt pangs because our WT was not highlighted?

by cultBgone in

jw
friends

we attended several different congregations in different states, and the one common thread among them all was...if you had your study article highlighted, you were a good jw.. honestly, how often did you cover over your magazine when the attendant walked by handing out copies to visitors?.

sheesh.

would anyone believe how weird this organization really is?.

piztjw

1. The red fox saw the black dog and ran under the fence.

Questions for paragraph 1.

1a. What did the red fox do when it saw the black dog?

1b. What color was the red fox?

Y'all got off easy. Here the conducter would then start the "secondary" questions.

1. So what was the first animal?

2. And what color was the first animal?

3 And the second animal was a ...... ?????

4 And again to review, what color was the second animal?

5 And what happened when the red fox saw the black dog, again? Perhaps one of our younsters knows the answer?

6 So to sum up What did the red fox do when it saw the black dog, and what might the fence represent?

Very good, friends! Isn't the food provided wonnerful? (That's the way he says it)

27

So how many of us had guilt pangs because our WT was not highlighted?

by cultBgone in

jw
friends

we attended several different congregations in different states, and the one common thread among them all was...if you had your study article highlighted, you were a good jw.. honestly, how often did you cover over your magazine when the attendant walked by handing out copies to visitors?.

sheesh.

would anyone believe how weird this organization really is?.

piztjw

I feel no shame at all for not hi-liting. Of course some years ago when I wold actually underline I was chastised for not studying. The ASSumption was that I had not studied because the snoop could not see the pencil lines clearly. He said I must use at least two different colored hiliters, one for each part of the question so that they could visibly see I had studied. That was one of the many, many rules for "reaching out".

It is a pleasure now to openly hold the mag so that everyone can see that nothing is underlined, hilited, notes in the margins or any of that other crazy bullshit that is expected if one is serving God only to be seen by men.

17

Scriptural Grounds for Divorce - Unbelievable story

by Comatose in

jw
friends

i personally know the individual involved closely, this is not a rumor.

this is what happens when you let three unqualified guys decide whether or not you get to ever date again with jehovah's blessing.. a young man finds out his wife is cheating on him by seeing texts on her phone.

he knows the person she is cheating with.

piztjw

You present a perfectly believable story. Things like that happen much more than anyone may suspect. It's not who you know it's who you... It's not what you do, it's who you do.... The previous thread below was pretty accurate also.

Marriage Consummation - emailed question has me stumped.

See my experience post 189 page two.

28

What do you think are the future doctrine changes will be?

by thedepressedsoul in

the whole organization is going through huge and big changes.

it can be seen by names of departments, to how things function and teaches.

my questions to you is, what do you think the future changes will be, both in teaching and organizational matters?.

piztjw

all need to obey the direction from "Jehovah's organization (that) may not appear practical from a human standpoint. All of us must be ready to obey any instructions we may receive, whether these appear sound from a strategic or human standpoint or not. " should be a cause of concern for every Jehovah's Witness

I'm thinking that this is more in the line of the very limited number of "regional" conventions in the future. This year is just the test run. In the future years there will be very few, and a great deal of travel and expense will be involved in the future to crowd into venues and watch the GB on large screen projectors. And what with the declining financial resources the "sheep" have it would appear to be impractical from a human standpoint to use limited funds for those conventions. IMHO.