All these negatives people try to attach to a " JW mindset" is just how people in the real world act. It's just how people are.
I completely agree. Gossiping and being judgemental are far from exclusively a "JW mindset". Just look at all the rumours, slander, arguments and cliques or secular 'cults' on social media, and think about the examples of people being 'cancelled' and the like - they are all about people judging others and often 'disfellowshipping' them from their social or professional circles.
I think exJWs tend to use the phrase "JW mindset" in this context just to dismiss criticism (sometimes legitimate, sometimes not) of their own words or actions. Someone like Lloyd especially uses it in this way.
To me, a real "JW mindset" is more about things like separation from the world, irrational fear of socialising, secular education and of getting to know people outside their organisation, that sort of thing. Those are attitudes that you rarely find outside the JWs (and other high-control religious groups).