Gojira_101

Joined

• started 43 topics
• posted 436 times   see topics posted on
• send a message

Posts by Gojira_101

• 
  30

  First post venting

  by Freethinking76 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hello ,i am a jw,been in the "truth " for about 6 years.i have to be very careful because i know the witnesses monitors sites and report to the elders ,i know cause that is what my blood sister does,she spends hours trying to find apostates in the closet.i know stuped.. so this is my situation.i have known about jw almost all my life and heard that only them have the truth,lots of my family are in it.i was the one taking too long to baptize ,i knew it was expected from me.and i always had a need to make ppl like me .so i took the dip.i started to notice that there are lots of jws that belong to little groups.i wanted friendship so bad and at the time had a need o tell ppl about my horrible childhood traumas i guess i was not over it yet,and needed some to lisent since i had drove my spouse nuts already .what happend this ppl pretend to want to be close to me so they can know all my business and then tell everyone at the hall.then you realize uhhh,they never confided their personal stuff to me.is like a game " you can tell me your stuff,but do not expect me to keep it to myself and do not think i will tell you my dirty laundry.a lot of mind games.. so i was alone ,invisible ,i still can't believe i put up with so much !

  i can't wright not even half of what i when through.i feel paranoic now.so i came across a youtube video by jwstruggle and blow my mind ,now i can't stop researching,my spouse is not a jw,and is very shock too.so i decided that i want to fade,i guess it won't be so hard since the sis and brothers did not had a close relationship with me.i have kids and i suffer from pts ,anxiety attacks,panick attacks and severe depression.i moved to the next town of my hall,so i have change hall too.i have not been to my new hall,and wanted to know,will the elders in my old hall contact the elders in my new hall just to see if i am attending?..

  my spouse told me " i will tell them i am not letting you go" "and "i found out that your liars!

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Gojira_101

  Welcome freethinking.

  I didn't have time to read everyone comments, so I don't know if anyone else has replied to your question about your old hall calling your new hall. I say it's a 50/50 chance. If you live in a smaller community then the elders man call, if you live in a bigger city type area with a lot of JW population then they might not. I would just say if you are done with the JW's then don't put yourself through that trouble and heartache with going to a few meetings.

  This is a hard journey for you right now. I would just recommend researching the heck out of WT. jwfacts is a good place to start and also read Crisis of Conscience, Ray Franz was a member of the Governing Body (GB) back in the 70's I think it was. He gives an enlightening look into how the GB operates and he helps so show many of the things WT has twisted. Just keep learning as much as you can about WT and the GB.

  I would suggest first by researching where the name Jehovah came from. You will be shocked. If you need any help in pointing you into the right direction or where to look please contact me or newlyenlightened (picture is of animal from the Muppet's) that's my mom. Between my parents and I, we have done so much research on just about everything and including the name Jehovah. I know it's scary, I was a born in and a JW for 29 years so I was indoctrinated since the beginning, it's very hard but please just keep researching and learning as much as possible.

  I love RayPublisher from JWStruggle. I'm actually doing some work for him to help with his load. He also just posted my "coming out" video. "Another brave soul escapes from watchtower" that is me.

  My thoughts and prayers are with you!

  Shyla
• 
  94

  Who I really am, my story on YOUTUBE!

  by Gojira_101 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  the death of a jw and the birth of me the apostate.. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k2lwgowdpj8.

  a huge thanks to my friend ray publisher (jwstruggle) for posting my video for me.

  now that i am no longer held prisoner from the fear of watchtower, i can now help others!.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Gojira_101

  nicsfreedom: I was very sacred and in fact I gave the dvd to my mom to mail to Ray Publisher. I'm not even sure if I could have mailed it. But I do have to say now, I feel liberated! A lot of the residual fear I had with WT is gone now. I can't even describe how good this feels knowing I took back my life. I knew at some point I was going to get DF'ed so why not make it on my terms. At least now when I get df'ed I still have the control and power in my own hands.

  You will know when you are ready to make your own video. There is no rush. But I would suggest go ahead and make one, but just don't publish it. You would be surprised how just getting those feelings out in the open (down on paper or on a video) help. I felt a lot better after just recording my video and then when it was publish....geez I broke down and cried because I finally felt like me...and again I cried the first time I signed my real name to a post.

  Take your time

  Shyla
• 
  94

  Who I really am, my story on YOUTUBE!

  by Gojira_101 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  the death of a jw and the birth of me the apostate.. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k2lwgowdpj8.

  a huge thanks to my friend ray publisher (jwstruggle) for posting my video for me.

  now that i am no longer held prisoner from the fear of watchtower, i can now help others!.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Gojira_101

  breakfast of champions: They are not real friends. It still hurts because I was close to my one grandmother and her shunning me is hurting the most, but everyone else I could care less about. I hate people who are two face and conditional. That is who my JW friends were. It was a conditional friendship. I will be your friend as along as you are a JW. I don't need people like that in my life.

  Thanks for the comment!

  Shyla
• 
  94

  Who I really am, my story on YOUTUBE!

  by Gojira_101 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  the death of a jw and the birth of me the apostate.. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k2lwgowdpj8.

  a huge thanks to my friend ray publisher (jwstruggle) for posting my video for me.

  now that i am no longer held prisoner from the fear of watchtower, i can now help others!.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Gojira_101

  I know this recent DC in Tuscon AZ a few weeks ago had sign holders. So it is still going on. I think reaching people through the internet is the best way because if there is a JW on the fence who wanted to talk to the "apostate" they will be too scared to that someone will see them.

  At least here, you can still keep your id secret.
• 
  15

  I said it before and I'll say it again

  by Gojira_101 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i'm so happy to have been able to sleep in yesterday and this morning!

  no fs and sunday meeting!

  every weekend i feel a huge relief and both hubby and i always look at each other and say "it's great not having to go to meeting huh?".

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Gojira_101

  It never gets old!!!!!!!!!! You are right!
• 
  94

  Who I really am, my story on YOUTUBE!

  by Gojira_101 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  the death of a jw and the birth of me the apostate.. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k2lwgowdpj8.

  a huge thanks to my friend ray publisher (jwstruggle) for posting my video for me.

  now that i am no longer held prisoner from the fear of watchtower, i can now help others!.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Gojira_101

  I do want to say I had this thought that I'd be having calls from our elders by now and I've heard nothing and the JW's who are "friends" (the ones who don't know about me yet), I have gotten nothing. So either the rumor spread to them and I just didn't get any emails/letters from them or they are good little JW's and are not on this site.

  I find this interesting! The state where I live though, from what I can see hasn't had a lot of apostates. The last time hubby and I went to a DC there was no one holding signs, so maybe the elders here don't know how to handle the mentally diseased apostates because there hasn't been many.

  Shyla
• 
  94

  Who I really am, my story on YOUTUBE!

  by Gojira_101 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  the death of a jw and the birth of me the apostate.. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k2lwgowdpj8.

  a huge thanks to my friend ray publisher (jwstruggle) for posting my video for me.

  now that i am no longer held prisoner from the fear of watchtower, i can now help others!.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Gojira_101

  I'm shouting from the mountain tops jgnat!
• 
  94

  Who I really am, my story on YOUTUBE!

  by Gojira_101 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  the death of a jw and the birth of me the apostate.. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k2lwgowdpj8.

  a huge thanks to my friend ray publisher (jwstruggle) for posting my video for me.

  now that i am no longer held prisoner from the fear of watchtower, i can now help others!.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Gojira_101

  Thanks Glander!
• 
  15

  I said it before and I'll say it again

  by Gojira_101 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i'm so happy to have been able to sleep in yesterday and this morning!

  no fs and sunday meeting!

  every weekend i feel a huge relief and both hubby and i always look at each other and say "it's great not having to go to meeting huh?".

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Gojira_101

  I'm so happy to have been able to sleep in yesterday and this morning! No FS and Sunday meeting! Every weekend I feel a huge relief and both hubby and I always look at each other and say "it's great not having to go to meeting huh?"

  We now worship at the alter of Capulus and video ludos. Hope google translator work right! (Capulus 'coffee' and video ludos 'video games')

  Shyla
• 
  72

  Apostate: From 279 Facebook friends to 81 overnight... thanks MOM!

  by sosoconfused in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  the drama continues, i log on to facebook this morning and notice that i have about 20 some odd personal messages from people calling me an apostate to they will return to me when i return to jehovah.. all of this based upon my brother informing others that i have "apostate thoughts".

  my mother also encourage long-time famil friends to "unfriend" me because i have taken my stand on the side of satan... wow.

  don't you just love this international brotherhood.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Gojira_101

  Same thing happened to me. When my dad made one comment to his mom, not even really apostate, his mom went psycho and called all our family back east, next day I had some facebook messages like you mentioned and some unfriending. Typical JW response. The funny thing is my grandmother lied and said dad was an apostate and hubby and I got lumped in even though we did nothing wrong. I'm sorry you are going through this, it just plain sucks because we can't even get through the mind-control enough to try and make things right. I know it's hard right now, but you really don't need those type of friends. Peace to you! Shyla