I now feel incredibly uncomfortable at our meetings, and I have realized that this place has no future for me. My entire being is hated, and the "friends" I do have don't give two shits about me. They either forget I exist, or they talk above me and ask why aren't I doing more for the faith. I feel like I'm treated like a child, none of my opinions have merit, none of my feelings are valid, and when I think about expressing a dissenting voice, it's called apostacy. The rules are abitrary and illogical, and paragraph 16 in the WT study actually disturbed me to the extreme.
My family, honestly, is the only ones I'm concerned about. I don't want to hurt them. But I fear I will have to.
magotan
JoinedPosts by magotan
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94
Not sure what to do next
by magotan ini'm 19, and i'm still currently a jw.
i guess i'm a born-in, or whatever you guys call it.
i've had some serious issues with the faith at the moment, and sexuality is a huge part.
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magotan
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94
Not sure what to do next
by magotan ini'm 19, and i'm still currently a jw.
i guess i'm a born-in, or whatever you guys call it.
i've had some serious issues with the faith at the moment, and sexuality is a huge part.
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magotan
"Fighting it" is what caused me to contemplate suicide.
"Fighting it" is what causes many to kill themselves, especially witnesses.
"Fighting it" ruins lives, dupes many gays into marriges that don't work on the guise of attempting to become 'straight', and leading to serious unhappiness
"Fighting it" is what caused me (and many others!) get baptized with the false promise that it will 'straighten you out'.
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94
Not sure what to do next
by magotan ini'm 19, and i'm still currently a jw.
i guess i'm a born-in, or whatever you guys call it.
i've had some serious issues with the faith at the moment, and sexuality is a huge part.
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magotan
Ha! I knew it would come eventually.
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94
Not sure what to do next
by magotan ini'm 19, and i'm still currently a jw.
i guess i'm a born-in, or whatever you guys call it.
i've had some serious issues with the faith at the moment, and sexuality is a huge part.
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magotan
I go to "University" as our many non USA members here call it (College and University are used interchangably here in the USA) studying for my BA (Bachelor's of Arts) in Graphic Design. I took a lot of College credit in HS, and I'm actually considered a Junior. Due to the fact that I got guilt-tripped out of considering not finishing, I took a year off. Otherwise, this would be my last year of school.
If I can pay my car off, I would be able to afford rent.
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94
Not sure what to do next
by magotan ini'm 19, and i'm still currently a jw.
i guess i'm a born-in, or whatever you guys call it.
i've had some serious issues with the faith at the moment, and sexuality is a huge part.
-
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magotan
I have a bit of a gameplan, but it has been an emotional see-saw for me for the past few weeks. I logically accept what's going on, but emotionally I'm still not quite there.
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94
Not sure what to do next
by magotan ini'm 19, and i'm still currently a jw.
i guess i'm a born-in, or whatever you guys call it.
i've had some serious issues with the faith at the moment, and sexuality is a huge part.
-
-
magotan
I've given myself six months (before the DC of this year) to get out. If I can get my car paid off by then, I will be gone.
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94
Not sure what to do next
by magotan ini'm 19, and i'm still currently a jw.
i guess i'm a born-in, or whatever you guys call it.
i've had some serious issues with the faith at the moment, and sexuality is a huge part.
-
-
magotan
I've had some serious issues about my faith for quite some time
- The hex put on higher education. I go to a congregation where we typically are poorer, my family likely being the poorest. I am watching kids come out of HS with no employable skills and viewing college as the evilist of all places to go. ANd when their life sucks, of course it's "Satan's system"
-They put a hex on anything they don't like; but they do it under the guise of spirituality. They have an attitude of "It's your personal choice" (to choose to not do it) (Blood is a good example, entertainment is another)
- The often circumvent and dance around issues that sound suspect to those outside (and inside) the faith. Last week's talk no 2 is a good example. The sisters doing the part started out talking about why the householder thought it was odd that she didn't pray with her. They use some scriputural BS, but the real reason is because the JW's don't feel you're qualified to talk to God, because you're not a JW.
-They use emotional bullying tactics to get members to do certain things - ex; not buying a house, or car, or getting married (singleness is the best way of life!), or having children (you can have children in the new system - they'll be perfect!)
- They guilt trip the shit out of people who don't agree. Disagreement is badged as a lack of understanding and faith. Lack of understanding and faith = you are doing something wrong.
- Appointments are done by 'holy spirit' but at the same time they harp more on the 'qualifications' than the 'spirit'.
- The hope for the Paradise IMO is borderline unhealthy - many JW's don't actually deal with death properly. "Oh she'll be awake on the other side! And we can tell her all she's missed!"
- They treat non JW's with contempt.(this has never sat well with me, ever) Any non JW will stab you in the back and kill you.
- Anything you personally do is insiginificant. Anything the WT does is great and grandiose and deserving of praise.
- a bit of a pet peeve, but they talk in phrases. "Anointed". "Food at the proper time". "Make time for the More Important Things", "Spiritual Banquet of Well-oiled dishes", many, many more.
- the timeline for Noah's Ark makes no physical sense, and the WT's explination is an affront to my intelligence.
- Too many young people rush into marriage purely on sexual fantasy. When those sexual fantasys evaporate, they're left in an empty marriage. And of course, the 'older men' critcize the young couple on getting married for sex.
- I hate the term murmuring.
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94
Not sure what to do next
by magotan ini'm 19, and i'm still currently a jw.
i guess i'm a born-in, or whatever you guys call it.
i've had some serious issues with the faith at the moment, and sexuality is a huge part.
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magotan
Honestly, I'd be enthralled if they found out.
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94
Not sure what to do next
by magotan ini'm 19, and i'm still currently a jw.
i guess i'm a born-in, or whatever you guys call it.
i've had some serious issues with the faith at the moment, and sexuality is a huge part.
-
-
magotan
I had'nt done and research untik fairly recently. I typed in 'gay jehovahs witness' in google and I came cross (John?) from australias story. I thought it would be a terrible story, but i identified with it nearly totally.
I would try and think critically about my faith, and it would unravel.
Also,im in thr USA, in Ohio,actually.
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94
Not sure what to do next
by magotan ini'm 19, and i'm still currently a jw.
i guess i'm a born-in, or whatever you guys call it.
i've had some serious issues with the faith at the moment, and sexuality is a huge part.
-
-
magotan
I was reading the WT on the platform last week....took all I could not to stop mid sentence saying "F*** This S***" and walk off the platform.