Posts by magotan

125

my worst fears were realized

by magotan in

im on my phone, so im really limited.

i came out to my family about my doubts and my sexuality.

shit hit the fan.

z have an "investigation" to be done by two JW "elders".

I told them I'd meet with them, but I have no interest in doing so. Should I call them and say "I like boys, will probably date and or sleep with one in the near future, and I think this religion is a sham that abuses it's members and steals their lives." That statement would put me out.

I think my mother and father wanted me to stay at home because it would be an excuse to interact with me, but I would not really be allowed to live my life. By leaving, I've spared them essentially shunning by proxy (since my dad isn't an Elder in the congregation anymore, he can't really "break the rules") by having me in their house. But of the same token, now they HAVE to shun me if they want to remain in good standing in the congregation.

I feel like I have nothing really to say to them; their "Investigation" is to essentially see if I have done any "wrongdoing" or "serious sin" and whether or not they should form a Judicial Committee to put me out.

125

my worst fears were realized

by magotan in

im on my phone, so im really limited.

i came out to my family about my doubts and my sexuality.

shit hit the fan.

magotan

Yeah, I'm OK. I'm in such an emotional wreck right now....

I found a place to stay, and I'm hitting it off pretty well with my roommate.

My mother called me on impulse today. She understands that it's more than just sexual; it's a desire to be with someone you love. But she can't condone. We just sat and hugged and cried. She feels like I'm shutting her out (maybe I am, IDK. I have gotten a new bank account and I'm filing for educational financial indepenendence) and doesn't want me to shut her out of my life. But obviously, I can't stay there if I'm going to "live the homosexual lifestyle". I don't know what to say here. I have my doubts, and obviously, she pretty much dismissed them (the UN scandal) as "apostate lies", but I could tell internally she likely thought about a lot of things.

I'm still not sure if I got kicked out, or if I left. When I told them, I was told that if I wanted to be gay and not a JW, I needed to leave. But I was on the same time told that I needed to stay because I had nowhere else to go. Then I was told that I was "always welcome" but of the same token, they can't condone my lifestyle so I wouldn't be able to stay. I believe cognitive dissonance is the term.

125

my worst fears were realized

by magotan in

im on my phone, so im really limited.

i came out to my family about my doubts and my sexuality.

shit hit the fan.

magotan

My cell number is the same, though.

125

my worst fears were realized

by magotan in

im on my phone, so im really limited.

i came out to my family about my doubts and my sexuality.

shit hit the fan.

magotan

I guess a JC has been formed. My dad called me, to make sure I was OK, told me I had mail, and that "The Brothers" will be calling. The conversation lasted maybe 15 seconds.

I honestly wish he never called.

I'm not going to entertain the notion that that circus has any power over me.

23

WT wisdom - Same sex attraction does not mean you are gay

by irondork in

given the confusion faced by gay youth in trying to navigate through a larger, hetero culture, the last thing these kids need is for a religious "authority" to come along and tell them they don't really exist.

that is exactly what the wt has done with this article at jw.org:.

http://www.jw.org/en/bible-teachings/family/teenagers/ask/pressure-to-be-gay/.

magotan

I used to think I could be accepted, but when I came out a few days ago, the first thing they told me is that I WASN'T GAY. I found it to be insulting.

37

Why do Jw's have to pay for CO's expenses?

by nolongerconfused in

this is something that has always bothered me!.

why do rank and file have to pay for co's do's expenses, car, health insurance, meals, etc, etc...?.

didn't the apostle paul say that all christians have to be self sufficient and work?, not depending on anyone else and cause a burden?.

magotan

On another note, I never understood why CO's drove Buicks, which are luxury cars. Chevrolet too good for them?

125

my worst fears were realized

by magotan in

im on my phone, so im really limited.

i came out to my family about my doubts and my sexuality.

shit hit the fan.

magotan

Golly, thanks for the support. If I weren't in such a whirlwind right now, I'd respond more elaborately.

23

WT wisdom - Same sex attraction does not mean you are gay

by irondork in

given the confusion faced by gay youth in trying to navigate through a larger, hetero culture, the last thing these kids need is for a religious "authority" to come along and tell them they don't really exist.

that is exactly what the wt has done with this article at jw.org:.

http://www.jw.org/en/bible-teachings/family/teenagers/ask/pressure-to-be-gay/.

magotan

I see you looked up the article after our conversation.

When I read it, it made me want to kill myself. After I stopped feeling that way, I realized what an insulting load of shit it really is.

125

my worst fears were realized

by magotan in

im on my phone, so im really limited.

i came out to my family about my doubts and my sexuality.

shit hit the fan.

magotan

Thanks for the support. In a motel right now, roommate situation is fallig apart. Im a bit dire right now. I keep thinking of going back, but that does not seem possible.

125

my worst fears were realized

by magotan in

im on my phone, so im really limited.

i came out to my family about my doubts and my sexuality.

shit hit the fan.

magotan

This is what I said

"Dear Facebook Friends.

I realize that most of my witness and those religious friends friends will defriend me and I am hereby starting an inquiry into my character, but

I am gay. I have been gay for quite some time, and I am tired of hiding it.

If we remain friends, maybe our relationship will deepen. If we don't, I understand totally."

~60 likes.

Some of the FB messages from JW's.

"Hey we still love you bro. Appreciate others concern for you but dont listen the worldly views in those comments man. I know you know that. But just remember to pray to Jehovah to help you to sort things out. - And quite honestly I don't think you're gay man. You might think you are because you may be attracted to guys but one of the Awakes helped us to appreciate that that's all linked to hormonal changes within our bodies that makes us feel that way. This happens in our age range and some witnesses think they're gay because of it but that's not always the case. But just pray to Jehovah about it which I already know you will."

"Hey Magotan. I saw your facebook status this morning and was curious if you were serious or if you were hacked? let me know friend."

"Hey Magotan, how're you doing brother? I noticed your post on Facebook and desired to ask how you were handling your feelings and the way others may have reacted to your declaration? I hope everything is well with you and your family. As a friend, I wanted to share an encouraging article with you from the JW site: http://www.jw.org/en/bible-teachings/family/teenagers/ask/pressure-to-be-gay/. I want you to know that I'm praying for you as I do for all my friends, and that I'm here if you ever need somebody to talk to."

"Hey hun let me.know if you need me and yes i still love you veryvery much"

"Are you gonna talk to the brothers about this? Are you even going to stay a witness?"

"Magotan, I just seen your status, But you are not gay, there is no such thing, you know that, please pray tho Jah about your weakness, it is not worth dying and being dead forever, there are plenty of people in Jehovah's organization that has these tendencies and are doing well in fighting them and keeping it at bay, they know in the New World Jehovah will fix this, They are doing well, they didnt give in,, PLEEEEAAASSEEE Pray and get help from the elders, Jehovah want you to come to him about your problem and He is willing to forgive if you did something and be merciful, But dont Give in,,dont give in,, I love you so much,, Please Pray, And seek help, Live forever!!!!"

" would never judge someone for a feeling they have. We're all imperfect. Jehovah knows we're imperfect. That's why he's patient with us. It's our action that counts. What we do. I just want you to know I still care about you as a friend. Jehovah still cares about you as a person. I just hope you make the right decision in the end.... I'll keep you in my prayers"

One message was supportive, only one. From a chick that I had maybe one conversation with.