I don't know why I'm telling you this, not to defend my position, but because I was reminded of this.
When I was 7 years old we had just gotten back from a trip to the Oregon coast with a bunch of friends. As we pulled into the garage the phone was ringing and I ran into the house to answer it. It was my grandmother, who we'd just left the week before in CA after driving down to Ca with her and my grandfather to Disneyland. Well she was hysterical on the phone and wanted to talk to dad, so I went and got him. He went into his den for a while and talked to her, when he came out he told us all that they'd been in a car accident, my grama was pretty badly banged up having lost all the skin on her arms when the car rolled, and my grandfather was dead. He'd died instantly as the car rolled.
I was hysterical, we'd just been with him for a week and they were traveling on to Arizona. Everyone was upset, and a good friend of ours Bill (black brother) stopped by to say hi, and walked in on this upsetting scene. Well he was a very kind and loving brother that we'd known for years, he gathered everyone around and said a prayer. And it really calmed everyone down. He said some very encouraging things and it really helped change the mood. I've never forgotten that. Every time I would see Bill I'd wave and think about that, even when he was df'd for a brief period I'd always remember the love he'd shown to us that night when we were very desperate..........
I even threatened his son about showing pics to his fiancé of him over at our house in a pair of my shorts 'cause he hadn't brought a change of clothes to meeting hehehee.
Ven