I was lucky in a way. I was already mostly inactive when the light bulb first went off. Not that I faded completely out unscathed. There were elder visits, 'concerned friends' trying to 'encourage' me. Family members 'taking me aside' and trying to 'talk sense' to me.
By the time I was gone gone, no one really paid me much mind anymore though. I had raised just enough questions that it was clear I was not going to 'go quietly into that good night', and instead of harassing me, and trying to prove a point, they let me be. The downside to that is that I'm not officially DFd or DAd, just gone. I still have family in, I still see old JW 'friends' occasionally, not that we associate, but run into them (it's a small enough city, it's going to happen). So, while some actually shun me, others see the need to try to woo me back.
I took a hands off approach with my wife. She was inactive as well, but not mentally out. I knew better than to force the subject. You have to have your own doubts before you accept the facts about the WTS. So I figured if we stayed inactive, and made a life outside the JWs/KH, she would eventually come around on her own. I only dropped the occasional hint or comment. It hasn't worked. Her JW family keeps the pressure on her, and with the recent election, the fear of Armageddon is back, and she is leaning toward returning. I fear a showdown is in the near future.