I'm glad we didn't have kids. I would have hated to have raised kids to be JWs and then realize I screwed em up for life.
undercover
JoinedPosts by undercover
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85
Why I don't Want children
by LuckyLucy inpeople often ask me why i don't have children...."is it because you don't like them?
" it's quiet the contrary.
i like them alot!
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26
Was Public Reproof Traumatic for You?
by zenpunk ini was reproved at the age of 17 and, believe me it was a nightmare at home.
first, my parents felt such shame over me - i was such an evil disappointment to them.
i would hear my mother talk on the phone to other sisters about how sad she was about the way i had turned out.
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undercover
"They didn't just disfellowship Dad. They disfellowshipped the whole family."
This is so true. I remember a close friend who's father was DF'd. After that no one would visit the family socially, because "he" would be there. The kids were basically shunned. They couldn't have sleepovers or cookouts. In time, they were pretty much left out of all congregation social activities. Everyone else in the family was faithful JWs but because the father was DF'd most of the cong. treated all of them the same. I think some do it because they are afraid or they aren't sure what to do and it's easier to just ignore the situation than try to work around it.
But as we all know, it's the loving thing to do.
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37
I always disagreed with ....
by fulano indisfellowshipping on smoking.. especially smoking a cigar from time to time does not have to be harmfull.
but i personally have disfellowshipped persons for smoking sigarettes, although i never saw a good biblical base.i mean ..how many filthy fat friends did we have, addicted to sugar, carbs, and you just knew they were going to have health-problems sooner or later.
now i smoke cigars, maybe one good cuban a day, and i am slim, active and can run 10 miles without any problems.. who had the same doubts about this dogma?
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undercover
Smoking can be a nasty, addictive, hurtful habit. Very little, if anything, is positive about smoking. So should it be a disfellowshipping offense? If one is addicted, and doesn't take the steps to quit, then, probably they should, especially if they spend money on this habit that would take away from their family's necessities.. But if someone enjoys a cigar or pipe or the occasional cigarette and they aren't addicted and can control the habit, then what bible principle is being broken? The same is true for alcohol. If you can't control the addiction, then there are bible principles involved. If you are an occasional drinker with no addiction, then no problem. Same with over-eating. Gluttony and drunkeness are both condemned. Smoking, IMO, falls into the principles used for over-eating and over-drinking. We need food, but overeating or gluttony is wrong. We don't need alcoholic drinks, but in moderation they are allowed. We don't need tobacco, and the bible does not speak of it at all. So if we use the principles used for eating and drinking, then we can see that some could be able to enjoy a fine cigar or pipe, while others would need to avoid it completely so as not to become addicted.
This whole thing becomes more muddled up when you consider that the cigarette companies add additives to make cigarettes more addictive(and thus harmful).
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undercover
For those that go to meetings, why do you?
Cause some have family still in. I've been to one meeting in 3 months and that was because family was in town and they wanted to go to the meeting. I grew up in "the truth", so most of my family is in. Though I have become inactive, I will stick around enough to keep my family ties. The down side to that though, is that some family members hound the hell out of you to get back into service and regular meeting attendance. They think they are doing the right thing, but it can be irritating.
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What would Jesus...drive?
by detective inhmmmm.
yes... but would jesus have an "i love me" bumper sticker?.
from the boston channel.... group asks 'what would jesus drive?'.
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undercover
A Honda Accord
Can't remember the exact scripture but it says something about Jesus and the apostles all being in accord with each other.
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Ohhh - what a laugh!
by Mr Magoo init's been quite a while since the last time i was in here.. i don't know if any of you rememeber my story, but i'm a happy ung male atheist married to a lovely jw.... last week i attended the study group with my wife - the i-don't-know-what-he's-called-but-he's-visiting-the-study-groups-from-time-to-time was going to be there and there would therefore be coffee, cake and cookies after the meeting.
as i get along quite well with my wife's jw "friends" (some of them being my family in law) i attended the meeting just to take part in the social activities afterwards.. during the i-don't-know-what...'s speak at the end of the meeting he explained how telephone preaching could be used and blahblahblah... in the end he then said "so are any of you interested in trying that?
" - no reaction from anyone - not a nod, not a smile - nothing.
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undercover
What's the number one irritant in most normal families routines these days? Telemarketers. Phone rings 3-5 times a night(or more). People wanting donations to every cause under the sun. Credit card companies trying to sell you something extra. Politicians and survey people wanting your opinion on something. Somebody, everybody selling something over the phone. JWs know this. They are harassed just like everybody else by telemarketers. Since phone witnessing hasn't been around as long as the other forms of preaching, it hasn't been ingrained into their brains. They still resist it because they don't want to be a nuisance to people on the phone. Now, if they could just realize that they are just as much a nuisance at the front door and in the Wal-Mart parking lot.
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What Was The 1st Thing That Made You Question?
by minimus inas a youngster raised in the "truth", i had my questions.
but anytime you ask a question that is unanswerable, you are told to just wait on jehovah.
as time passes, i believe that we store up a number of unanswerable questions that forces one to eventually think about everything.
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undercover
Hope this answers your questions.
Quite well.
Your right, "the love of it's members is strictly conditional". And because of having family still "in", I choose to(at this time) not DA myself. I haven't been to a mtg in a year now so nobobdy really misses me at mtgs, but I still have contact with family and certain friends that I grew up with(not that they are super zealous JWs).
Wouldn't it be great to just say, "I don't believe anymore" and go your own way and still be able to at least have your family connections? They claim to be fighting a "spiritual warfare" so for me to keep my family I have to fight this "war" covertly. Hence my name. I admire you and others I have seen here to be able to take the high ground on your fight, but for now I'll have to play it tight to the chest.
Thanks for your reply to my questions.
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102
What Was The 1st Thing That Made You Question?
by minimus inas a youngster raised in the "truth", i had my questions.
but anytime you ask a question that is unanswerable, you are told to just wait on jehovah.
as time passes, i believe that we store up a number of unanswerable questions that forces one to eventually think about everything.
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undercover
Hey Reborn,
I have had similar experiences like yours concerning grooming. Always called into the back and told you have to conform. The only biblical proof they could use was the scripture about not stumbling others.
What I'm curious about in your case though, is did you have family that was still "in" when you left the org? I've read some of your posts where you on no uncertain terms let the brothers know where you stand. How does this affect your relationship with your family if they are still "in"? I admire your ability to just lay it on the line and get out, but even though I would like to do that, I would be cut off from family and friends I have known my whole life. Some people I would not miss, but others are still friends even though I am inactive and am not making any move to come back. But they will toe the line if I was to DA myself or get DF'd.
In answer to the subject question: I guess I've always had questions in the back of my head that I just kinda ignored. But when I saw something on TV about the history of Jerusalem and they mentioned that Babylonian forces destroyed Jerusalelm in 586/7 I was confused. The next biggest thing was the generation of 1914 change in doctrine. I didn't really pay attention when if first broke, cause even though I was going to mtgs and service and being the good little JW, I was really not zealous about it and didn't really study or read or pay attention at meetings. When I reviewed it later and thought about it being another doomsday prediction that failed, I woke up to the fallacy of it all.
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Dubs at lunch
by Mulan ini went out to lunch today with my jw girlfriend.
we were eating chinese food, and she was telling me all about the co's visit, and complaining quite a lot.
suddenly the people across from us said "which congregation?
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undercover
I used to go to lunch with a girl I worked with sometimes. A really pretty girl. No, not just pretty, she was hot. We were just friends, though sometimes there was some flirting. She knew I was a JW and she respected it(darn). Anyway we were at lunch one day and a group of young ones from a couple of the local cong. came in. They saw us sitting at the bar and stared a hole through us the whole time. My first thought was, "Oh shit." But then I thought, "I'm not doing anything wrong. I'm eating lunch with a co-worker". It did get back to the parents of these kids, people I grew up with. A couple of the dad's asked me about it in private, but I could tell they were more jealous than anything. They were basically patting me on the back.
As has been mentioned before JWs can be so judgemental. Here were kids, teenagers, judging a brother cause he was eating lunch with someone who wasn't his wife. Now fortunately, I grew up with most of the parents of these kids, so because of that loyalty(which is disloyal to the organization) no one brought it up to an elder.
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What "SIN" do elders respond to fastest?
by Dismembered in.
maybe it's just me but, it seem like "elders" respond extremely quickly to "sexual misconduct" as long as it does not involve their own family members.
true or false?
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undercover
Sexual misconduct judicial mtgs and decisions are different than apostasy JC mtgs and decisions. In sexual matters there is somebody usually admitting upfront that they haved slipped up. Or if someone told on you(broke a trust) then most will break down and confess. And like someone said earlier, it is against Bible teachings so there will be guilt associated with it. Apostasy will not have guilt feelings associated with it, or repentance shown. It can be readily admitted upfront, but I have noticed that a lot of you sent letters DAing yourselves anyway. Others waited till they were confronted and then their are those of us who are still in but not daring to show our hand(yet anyway).
The one time I was in a JC mtg for sexual misconduct, the elders were mostly fair. They started to ask questions about the act itself, but one elder said he didn't want details, just the basic facts. He said to answer with yes and no, please. More than once? He really meant well and wanted to see repentance. If any JWs are lurking and end up in a JC mtg in the future remember one thing(if you don't wanna get DF'd); after the sin, you prayed like you never prayed before, seeking forgiveness from Jehovah. That was one thing that stood out. They wanted to know more about the intent of the prayer afterward and what was asked of Jehovah in the prayer as much as they did the transgression itself. That told me that this one elder did care and wasn't looking to get his rocks off. Now I was told later by the sister, that the other elders really let her have it for her dress and grooming and how that "brings these things on". I can see where the sisters feel like they are singled out for the blame. This sister got raked over the coals while they treated me fairly. Go figure. Takes two to tango. Both are fault.