Leander,
I can empathize with you. My wife and I are separated right now. I tried to hold on to the "truth" for several years because I knew that if I admitted to others that I didn't believe in the organization anymore that our marriage would be tough to hold together. My wife is a VERY loyal witness. At one point in our discussions, I asked her to tell me one thing she would not do even if the society asked her to. She refused to answer. I wanted her to draw a line, to say here is my personal space, the WT ends here and my individual personality begins. She couldn't do it. Our discussions always ended in her crying or me crying, or usually both of us crying.
I left about three months ago. I had been telling her for two years that I don't want to be an apostate in my own home. I can't live with a person who would associate with people who wouldn't even talk to me. I have dreams, too. I want to have a family. But I don't want my children being taught that their father is an apostate, a dog returning to its vomit. I was raised thinking my father would die at Armageddon unless we could convert him. That's nothing short of child abuse.
I love my wife. We've been married for more than 10 years. I know I can never fully replace the relationship that I have with her. But, at this point, I feel that it's not possible for me to survive emotionally in such a marriage. She has every right to believe what she wants to and to associate with whom she wishes, but I've all but ruined my health by trying to live a lie for about four years. I've come to the conclusion that it isn't fair for her to try to keep me in a situation that was crushing me emotionally. I wish she could be more flexible in her outlook, but I respect her firmness. It takes a lot of faith to put your religion ahead of your marriage.
What to tell you is another story. I agonized over the morality of leaving my wife. In my case I really felt that they left me. I didn't do anything wrong, but she along with the congregation refuse to recognize the right of individuals to reexamine their religion and come to different conclusions.
I can say that if you feel strongly about leaving you may find waiting only causes resentment to build. I realized that if I don't have children ( in a normal family), that as the years go by , and the possibility of having a family slips away, I would become more and more resentful. I feel like the WT almost robbed me of my chance to have a family by filling my head with lies about Armagedon. In 10-15 years I think I would most likely be so disgusted with it all, and my wife's blind devotion to such outrageous lies, that I would probably leave her anyway.
One more thing. Be patient. You're young. A few more months won't hurt. I'm glad that I thought everything through very carefully. I have a clean conscience about it all because I didn't rush into anything. They threatened me with expulsion, they pushed me out. I don't feel like I left and that's important to me.
Good luck. Let us know how you're doing from time to time.
Ron