Why don't I just walk away? If I weren't married to a very stubbornly committed JW, I would move away. I've talked to my wife repeatedly about whether it's ethical to shun, etc. She's determined not to budge an inch. She's just like Marilyn said about the elder. She's a nice person, really a great person...unless you threaten her belief system, in which case she can turn ice-cold in a heartbeat. To be frank, although I don't like to admit it, I'm so fed up with my marriage, that when I'm disfellowshipped that will be jsutification for divorce. At that point she'll have to make a choice, me or the "truth". Of course, it's a no-brainer for her.
I hope it doesn't sound cold and calculating on my part, but at this point we have two separate social lives. It will only get worse after I'm disfellowshipped. If she puts her organization above her marriage, I understand her to be forfeiting the marriage. She says that DF doesn't end the marriagge bonds. I say hogwash. I don't take divorce lightly. On the other hand I've lived a lie for too long.It's led to depression and tremendous anguish. So I'm going to be honest with the elders. They can do what they want. But if the elders think they can inject themselves into my personal life, they're wrong. If my wife thinks she can support such unethical treatment towards her husband and still have a husband, she's wrong, too. So, I'm allowing the issue to come to a head. I want it to be over. This seems like the best way for me.