Posts by waiting

27

Just saying Hi

by Ozzygal in

jw
friends

i've been lurking for a while, and feeling a little guilty about being here.

you know, the ol' internet is evil thing.

it's been a big topic down our way recently.

Hi, or Hey (as they say in the Southern USA). Why should we have to justify speaking? On some sites, they do try to take us out of the Truth. And there are some very good arguments to be heard and thought about. Who says we shouldn't think? Shouldn't reason? We know who says we shouldn't question, but doesn't that just want to make you question why you shouldn't question?

That being said, this is a comfortable place to talk - thanks to all the other members. As one car salesman told me: "There's a seat for every bottom (I cleaned it up), so pull up a chair!"

Pull up a chair and visit for a while.

14

Spectromize - reply to your new post

by waiting in

when i've tried to post my incredibly long, hard, post on child molestation - i get friggin' error messages - i will try again.

.

i just did not want you to be honest and then think that i would not feel thanks.

waiting

The final weird.

I've been reading a lot about our Society. And the comments have been made that there are probably reasons why some of us gravitate towards such a religious organization.

Myself? Like you, I was raised a Catholic. Like you, my mother worked. However, my father worked nights, so he babysat for his 3 kids during the day. Save money and all that. I was his favorite, and he was mine. Professionals write that if child abuse is suspected in a family - look to the child that is the suspected molester's favorite - that child is trying to placate the molester. And keep him happy so she can live another day.

When my mind started tumbling open with this gawd-awful scenes of perverted sex and death, well, those were hard years. My best advice to anyone, however, is NEVER GO TO A THEREPIST WHO IS THE SAME FRIGGIN' RELIGION YOU ARE!!! There are just too many boundries that get tied up together. As the old joke goes, "Remember, the court appointed physiatrist is NOT your friend." The person you expose your mind to is going to have quite a bit of power over you, depending upon your mental health. Sister Virginia........, who was of Ventura, CA,and then Boca Raton, FL, used her therepist and religious standing to try to totally control me. Cost me $15,000 in a few short months to break away from her. She had her own issues - and imposed them upon me. She was dead wrong.

After two years of no therepy and furious, I finally heard a lecture by a worldly therepist and made an appointment with her. What you would think would happen to old hippies when they become middle class is the best description of Jemmee Stewart of Columbia, SC. She was great. She did not judge me, did not condenscend to me, allowed me freedom of many thoughts and topics -and if I said I didn't want to talk about it, we didn't. It was lovely and I gladly paid someone to listen to me. We parted ways because she didn't feel I needed her anymore - my mind was able to comfort itself. No small feat, thank you.

Back to gravitating to this type of religious system. At 18, I found out that there was no Hell. JW's had my undivided attention, because the guilt in the back of my mind was tremendous and I KNEW I was going to Hell, I just didn't remember why.

I was also looking for new parents as I really didn't like mine. Go figure. The sister who studied with me was a fine, calm woman. She gave me emotional shelter.

Security and the strong, simply explained teachings from the Truth book versus the Sacred Mysteries of the Catholic Church. Not much contest there.

My father beat me ferociously for studying with the Witnesses. Don't get me wrong - he would have beat me for doing anything that wasn't his will.

Which brings me to my final point, perhaps I just traded one authoritarian family for another. After all, the Watchtower family is willing to stop my family and friends from ever talking to me again if I leave, and that would surely hurt.

Doesn't seem quite fair, does it?

14

Spectromize - reply to your new post

by waiting in

when i've tried to post my incredibly long, hard, post on child molestation - i get friggin' error messages - i will try again.

.

i just did not want you to be honest and then think that i would not feel thanks.

waiting

Wow, this is getting weirder all the time.
Second post to myself - keep it up and I'll reach 20 just talking to myself!

Back to seriousness. It's very lonely being one of Jehovah's Witnesses and having a unique perspective on life's dirty side. We don't talk openly, and rarely privately, we don't know who each other are. What a shame for us.

I do have a mental difference (as I choose to call it) left over from my childhood nightmare. I was quite insulted when an old elder said that it probably was a gift and saved my life. A child's mind has to be extremely flexible to sustain a mental image of a loving father (or other) and be agile enough to try to stay alive when he's not. All kinds of trade offs are arrived at - I'll get you boys for your enjoyment - you don't kill me. Okay, kill my dog, but let me live, I'll be quiet. A life such as that leaves marks on the mind. Hell, it leaves gashes in the mind.

But Jehovah made our minds and hearts strong - and thankfully he instilled it in us naturally. If he didn't, a lot more children would just die because they wanted to.

A quote I read from a therepist said: "Many persons with Multiple Personality Disorder, MPD, (now called Dissociative Identity Disorder, DID - NEW LIGHT just like the Society!!) lead ordinary lives as adults. They just lead uncomfortable, ordinary lives." I think that's a fair statement. As molested children, our minds will do whatever it takes to survive, even if it means contortions. As adults, some, probably most, of us adjust to living, just somewhat uncomfortably.

Stopping post to try to avoid error messages!

14

Spectromize - reply to your new post

by waiting in

when i've tried to post my incredibly long, hard, post on child molestation - i get friggin' error messages - i will try again.

.

i just did not want you to be honest and then think that i would not feel thanks.

waiting

This is so weird to reply to my own post.

Spectromize, thanks for your openess. I have found, like you, that most people don't want to talk about these messy situations - which empowers the molesters. Remember that old saying about Satan? His greatest trick was getting people to believe he didn't exist, thus, he could do what he wanted without any interruption. It's not much different with molesters.

However, since I've been writting to you for over an hour now, totally in Computer Error Language, I will keep this post short. See next post.

14

Spectromize - reply to your new post

by waiting in

when i've tried to post my incredibly long, hard, post on child molestation - i get friggin' error messages - i will try again.

.

i just did not want you to be honest and then think that i would not feel thanks.

waiting

When I've tried to post my incredibly long, hard, post on child molestation - I get friggin' error messages - I will try again.

I just did not want you to be honest and then think that I would not feel thanks. Thank you.

105

I'm a Neutral Jehovah's Witness

by Martini in

jw
friends

dear brothers and sisters,.

i martini, will confide in you that i have become a neutral jehovah's witness.

i wonder if i'm not coining a new phrase here!.

waiting

It's one thing to be an active member of a religion that you truly feel is saying the truth.
Even if you can be spiritually damned if you try to find out if they really are telling the truth.

As long as they were treating me somewhat honestly, I was always counseled to "be quiet - it's just the locals who act that way. Our whole Society is really straight forward - and besides - it's the truth, where else can we go?"

Well, I was quiet, and they treated my family (on different occasions) terribly. I finally decided to look around, surely someone could explain to me why this was happening to us! Our beloved Society was covering up a situation and blaming us instead of our elders - and then told our CO not to talk to us! We know this because he told us those exact words - about the Service Dept. telling him not to talk to us.

I guess I have been in neutral for some time. When in the Watchtower study, I always answer at least 5 times, accurately, and can still read the entire issue of the Watchtower at the same time.

Our speakers are mediocre, and if it's not written word for word for them - they really don't reason well at all. So I sit and read the Bible or Watchtowers.

I haven't gone to a meeting for three months, only on Sundays for the last year. A brother stopped me in the mall recently, wanting to know why I wasn't at the meetings? I said I was doing a lot of studying and thinking. "But you need to be at the meetings!" I said I'm trying to do right by my conscience. "Don't follow your conscience. It's more important to be at the
meetings." Robert, do you understand what your're saying? "Well, if you're conscience is wrong - don't follow it". I just patted his arm and told him I was really trying.

My husband told another close brother that we had been "studying the older WT books." I could have killed him! "Why are you doing that?" I told this brother that I wanted to be sure what I was being made to believe was the truth. And there was nothing wrong in studying. "Your problem is that you study too much."

In other words, a person's conscience, reflection upon Jehovah's actually Bible, and reasoning in our own minds is not as important as going to the meetings.

Curiously, upon discovering the Internet - I found I have to use a dictionary all the time! It's been so long since I've read big words!!!!!!

32

The Holy Spirit

by Frenchy in

jw
friends

okay, i'm interested in what everybody thinks on this.

i believe that for the most parts all religions start off with a good motive, i.e., to provide a forum that will help people to serve god.

(basically).

waiting

What a loaded question Ben has asked!!! When a person, or group of persons, speak officially for Jehovah's holy spirit, and say they are speaking the Truth, and sometimes call themselves Prophets (depending on their view of present truth at the present time), then I guess they would have the weight and test that the Prophets in the Bible had.......and we all know what happened to them when their prophecies didn't come true.

Which leaves us, their followers, in a slight pickle, doesn't it? Maybe we should be reading our bibles more and praying for Jehovah's holy spirit to guide us also?

15

resigning...

by mesaluna in

jw
friends

any suggestion on how to resign as a jw?.

what would you say in your registration letter?.

what i wanna do is resign with no question ask.

waiting

An older sister in our congregation wrote a DA letter, and it was announced from the platform that she "disassociated" herself. Then the brother just shook his head in disbelief - and then the whispers started.

Whenever people don't know the facts, they will make up a suitable story to fit THEIR needs - in my opinion. Your needs will never be heard - they can't be - you're not part of the congregation anymore, and the congregation will be kept clean - at your expense.

Do you have family in the truth? Do you have friends in the truth? Do you really want to be shunned as an apostate for the rest of your life?

My husband and I have a legal case against our elders and appealled to the Society for help before making it a legal matter. We thought our situation was unique. How were we to know that silence from the Society is the norm instead of the exception? We started to write further - and then I discovered the Internet and saw that others have been treated basically the same - or worse.

For good or bad, we have drawn our "bull horns" in and will be quiet - and if we choose, walk away quietly. Some in our family have been Witnesses for 60 years and would never understand our feelings. In our opinion, we do not want to hurt our families, and we want to talk and laugh with them as long as we're all alive.

Pride is a dangerous thing - and when you make a point just to prove you feel you are right, the fall can seem like it lasts a life time. Be careful and think before you act.

45

About posting your picture be careful!

by spectromize in

jw
friends

simon i'm sorry i don't mean to rain on your parade but you have to remember the society and your local elders watch for stuff like that.

this is a very liberal board as far as discussions go and forever thankful for that, but you have to be careful because you could face a jd meeting.

i'm sure everyone is well aware that some posts on this board just wouldn't go over to well with the society.

waiting

Well, I for one, do not want to post my picture because I'm a woman, 50, and I don't want everyone to go: "Man, is THAT what she looks like?"

But your picture is cute, Simon, guess you'll have to be content with just being Ol Cute Simple Simon.

77

Writing private letters to the Society.

by spectromize in

for anyone who's ever written something of a private nature or asked clarification on certain beliefs have you ever had the unfortunate experience of the elders calling you in the back room or a sheperding call ?.

the reason i bring this out is that newer brothers or sisters don't know that everytime you write the society the society sends a copy of your letter to your local cong.

elders.

waiting

I'm always surprised and dismayed when I read what I write about myself. This situation is only part of a continuing thread of what could be considered a lousy life.

But it's not a lousy life, only lousy things happen to us all, and then we get on with life - and try not to think too hard.

I appreciate your friendly comments - I haven't talked for a long time about such things. They really aren't that uncommon among people - we just don't talk about them - for the good of the congregation, etc. The downside to that encouragement, which I've been the recipient of at least a half dozen times in extremely serious situations, is that if we're quiet - the next guy or child is a sitting duck. But I guess they'll be told to be quiet also, and so the cycle continues.

That argument - be quiet for the good of the (whatever), by the way, is the same argument that families, etc. use to keep child molesters unknown. I also know this because I, like many others, was severly abused by my father & his friends. My mother always preached to us: "what goes on behind these 4 walls (our house) doesn't leave here." It didn't leave, and my father abused me for 2 decades, my brother for 12 years (the same one who sodomized my daughter), and abused my daughter as an infant.

Sad to say, I had no memory of my father's abuse until my mother died, which was long after my daughter was grown and a victim in her own right.

I've been through years of bad & good therepy, no longer taking anti-depressants, and enjoy much about my life. People are resilient - God is good after all.

Back to letter writing to the Society - I did write another 133 page letter about buying our local Kingdom Hall from our body of elders and being cheated, swindled, and lied to (Insight Book style.)

But that's for another time - my husband and I are still waiting to hear from them, it's been a year.

Thanks again for your words of comfort.