Posts by waiting1

29

How the JWs helped me

by larc in

jw
friends

all of us have had negative experiences as a result of leaving the witnesses, some much worse than others.

many here, have expressed a bitterness and an anger over loosing so many "wasted" years.

while these are natural feelings, i think there are several positives we can dwell on as well.

waiting1

Hey Pro,

I have raised my kids to only associate with their intellectual equals even if they have to go outside the congregation to find friends.
As a reaction to the anti-science I have gone too far and tend to trust in scientism.
I have raised my kids to question every authority including "parental" authority.
I have worked hard with my kids to discover their abilities, aptitudes, temperament, vocational interests so that they can do the work they are sutited for.

Well, see there - good did come from it. You reached out to *better* the way you raised your children over the way you were raised. Now, you may have done that anyway - but most likely not in those specific areas.

I might rethink that one about questioning "parental authority" however. They do that naturally. Not only questioning, challenging, down right rebellion against! Teenagers............

waiting

29

How the JWs helped me

by larc in

jw
friends

all of us have had negative experiences as a result of leaving the witnesses, some much worse than others.

many here, have expressed a bitterness and an anger over loosing so many "wasted" years.

while these are natural feelings, i think there are several positives we can dwell on as well.

waiting1

Aw.......come on, even in a funny way - there are good things. We've had a thread like this before and the one response that I remember was:

"In college, I can sit through the most dull lecture and stay awake, even look like I'm taking notes while actually dozing."

I can identify.

Good things? My second husband (20 yrs now.)

Stability - and I had a lousy upbringing, and I needed that stability, one way or another, to survive.

The ability to talk to strangers and overcome their shyness - and mine. I had incredibly shy years in my life. No, damn it, I did. It all depended on where my brain/memory was residing. Wretched, in fact, those years. Ever try to hide huge red marks on your neck from nerves while trying to talk? Stomach muscles doubled up in spasms? Voice quivering so much can't be understood? Gasping for air? Ain't easy.

The ability to pick something apart.

The ability to speak up to those in obviously higher authority than ourselves.

Some good friendships along the way. Three fine children.

Maybe I would have had this anyway? No, I don't think so. You see, with my background with my father, I think I would have gone either into the Viet Nam era of military (probably nurse) or to live with my aunt & attend university where she taught. She was rabid and radical, and I probably would have followed her lead. Either way, I think my mind would have flipped - and not for the good.

Would I live this way again - by choice? No. But who has choices in the present that they totally comprehend?

Thanks, Larc - good topic.

waiting

44

What do you drive and why?

by Escargot in

jw
friends

well, a post on the good ol days got me thinking about the vehicles people drive and why.

in the jws, a vehicle had to be appropriate for service, four doors, holding at least five.

i remember back in 1978 i bought an mgb and the brothers had a fit (hehe), i was selfish, etc.,.

waiting1

LOL. Gee Dan, I wonder why you didn't last long as an MS!

waiting

44

What do you drive and why?

by Escargot in

jw
friends

well, a post on the good ol days got me thinking about the vehicles people drive and why.

in the jws, a vehicle had to be appropriate for service, four doors, holding at least five.

i remember back in 1978 i bought an mgb and the brothers had a fit (hehe), i was selfish, etc.,.

waiting1

90 Mercedes SW. I'd love to have a newer one *sigh* - but, at least, Mercedes always drive *tight* no matter their age, imho. She's paid for, and newly fixed, drives like a charm. It's really nice to live without car payments.

As with others who drive European cars, they handle remarkably well. I'd take a good ol' Mercedes, BMW, Volvo, over an American car any day.

My husband's updating her to look newer as we speak. He found out what the new ones cost..............*sigh.*

Hey Billygoat

In our area, almost exclusively, women drive Eclipses. A nice thing you can do for your new baby is get the windows tinted with a good film with aluminum in it. It will reflect the heat out of the back area and save your interior from dry rot & fading (most of it anyway.)

Look for a tinter who will do the back window in one piece. Can be done. Enjoy!

waiting

156

I'm Screwed Up, You're Screwed Up

by Farkel in

jw
friends

i have not followed very many threads of late, so if someone has already made the same observations i'm about to make, i apologize for my redundancy.. .

i admit it: i'm part of a highly secretive, highly elite group.

(we have to drink two quarts of fresh yak blood and get a tattoo of a pentagram on our butts as part of of the initiation.

waiting1

Hello Happy Heathen,

Thanks for your reply - as we can now prove that we're stickin' to the subject, eh?

Jews and Mormons have their share of problems, I'm sure. But I have friends in both groups and can attest that their world view is much more optimistic than J.W.'s nor are they as isolated. I went with my Mormon friends to their temple a few times and, of course, they tried their darndest to convert me but eventually gave it up. None of them quit associating with me, nor did their church tell them that they must. Both Jews and Mormons advocate higher education and encourage all kinds of social outlets for their people. Compared to J.W., they really are much more "part of the world" and tens times more well adjusted than J.W's.

Good points. I just threw Jews and Mormons in because they tend to be rather restrictive historically. Mormons, even though cultish-thought by many, do seem to have a more open outlook. You didn't mention the Taliban, nor the different groups of Muslims, etc.

You did make an interesting observation - it was your friends you talked to about this, which is natural. My children, who aren't in the Org. now, still have a positive outlook (in general) on the jw childhood. I've given them the grown-up facts on it, however, to try and make sure they don't get all misty-eyed and want to go back.

My point would be - different people remember childhoods/experiences differently. Glass half full/half empty concept. I do agree that the WTBTS teaching on raising children isn't healthy - but, a lot of other styles aren't either. A decent jw upbringing is a hell of a lot healthier than being beaten, raped, etc., imho, - which happens to a high percentage of kids, in or out of the organization.

A decent percentage of people have always blamed their childhood/mother/father for their problems in adult life. Sure, some played a major part in screwing their kids up - or their kids perceiving themselves as screwed. But there are other kids who grow up - and move on. And in the meanwhile, don't verbally, emotionally, or physically attack others - or allow others to do these things to them. Or they get good professional help.

Farkel is correct in his stance that we could all interact more gently with each other - taking into consideration our background in our posts to others who have the same type background. But our background doesn't excuse our behavior if we endlessly attack each other.

Nice to meet you, btw. Hope you stay around.

waiting

11

What Is Your "TRUE " JWD Personality?

by Ranchette in

jw
friends

a lot of us have gotten a kick out of those online personality tests.. we have also seen threads started from time to time that ask the question, why are you here?.

it would be good from time to time to ask our some questions and do some self-analization.. now we have a tool we can use to see if we are being honest with others and ourselves.. click on members at the top of the page and check on your self from time to time.. are we a positive influence or a negative one?.

if you think your not interested or dont care thats fine but dont be shocked when your past history comes and bites you on the ass.. i am glad to have this tool now so i can self regulate myself and can also use it to find out if a person is being honest,or basically up to no good.. i think we will see a little of every thing here.. some types i notice without even looking are,.

waiting1

Hey Ranchette,

No.......your idea of persons reviewing their style of postings is a good one.

When someone new pulls up an ancient thread - some of us *old timers* shudder. "My Gawd, was I EVER that ............?" Yes, we were - and sometimes it's nicer than we evolved.

But in the evolution, some of us have learned a lot about ourselves, developed new skills in communication, etc. Some of us are pretty much the same.

Much like in real life anyway.

As to my being *testy* (self-assigned title):

Unchristian? My dear, you have no idea how much meaner I would be to you if I weren't a Christian. Author unknown, but cool nonetheless.

waiting

156

I'm Screwed Up, You're Screwed Up

by Farkel in

jw
friends

i have not followed very many threads of late, so if someone has already made the same observations i'm about to make, i apologize for my redundancy.. .

i admit it: i'm part of a highly secretive, highly elite group.

(we have to drink two quarts of fresh yak blood and get a tattoo of a pentagram on our butts as part of of the initiation.

waiting1

Take care, Farkel.

Good night.

waiting

156

I'm Screwed Up, You're Screwed Up

by Farkel in

jw
friends

i have not followed very many threads of late, so if someone has already made the same observations i'm about to make, i apologize for my redundancy.. .

i admit it: i'm part of a highly secretive, highly elite group.

(we have to drink two quarts of fresh yak blood and get a tattoo of a pentagram on our butts as part of of the initiation.

waiting1

Btw, Farkel,

I was going to respond - seriously - to your thread this morning, but decided against it because of my personal outlook. You made good points in an incomplete way.

Sure, most jw's were hurt in some way by their experience. But then, most people don't get through life without being hurt by whatever experience they have experienced.

To single out jw's as somehow needing more love, more understanding, because of being screwed by their experience over jews, mormons, taliban believers, whatever, doesn't quite *do.* Of course, most of those don't come on this forum ---- but to say that jw's or x-jw's are more nuts than the average person might be able to be discussed.

Personally, I'd trade growing up with my father against an average jw father about any time. And he was an atheist - just a perverted one.

My point being........no matter what our upbringing, our outlook, we can still extend civility, manners, persuasion, to others. And as you brought out, it is important.

Take care - and it wasn't my intention to hurt your thread.

waiting

156

I'm Screwed Up, You're Screwed Up

by Farkel in

jw
friends

i have not followed very many threads of late, so if someone has already made the same observations i'm about to make, i apologize for my redundancy.. .

i admit it: i'm part of a highly secretive, highly elite group.

(we have to drink two quarts of fresh yak blood and get a tattoo of a pentagram on our butts as part of of the initiation.

waiting1

Sorry Farkel,

As you can see by my name change to "waiting1" - I've used up a lot of posts on the "word association thread" - therefore, I can't edit my post to delete any mention of Tina. Just a joking kind of thread - which I mistakenly thought this was too.

I was joking with uncle bruce. I am genuinely sat back on my heels that I have offended anybody. And I've apologized already.

It was not my intent to offend - anybody, anywhere, in the universe.

It is a shame.

waiting

156

I'm Screwed Up, You're Screwed Up

by Farkel in

jw
friends

i have not followed very many threads of late, so if someone has already made the same observations i'm about to make, i apologize for my redundancy.. .

i admit it: i'm part of a highly secretive, highly elite group.

(we have to drink two quarts of fresh yak blood and get a tattoo of a pentagram on our butts as part of of the initiation.

waiting1

Farkel,

I won't. I didn't mean anything by what I wrote. I retract fully.

I will go back immediately and edit my post so that no mention of tina is ever mentioned. The good feelings that some of us were having won't be effected, and no offense was meant to Tina.

Will that suffice?

waiting