Our experience: Wife became inactive. C.O visited with an
elder from our congregation. I was not present. Wife was very careful with what
she revealed, but C.O. got on the platform and gave a talk about her anyway.
Singled her out as walking dead. I believe it was a marking talk. She learned
about it from another sister and wrote him a letter telling him that talking
about his impressions from a personal visit, on the platform, had discouraged
her further. He phoned to apologize.
I told the BOE I felt, with my wife’s inactive status, I
should step down. They contacted the C.O.
Met with the BOE and C.O. They all felt I should not step down, that the congregation understood the
situation and my wife’s spiritual demise would not be considered ‘my fault’. This
stepping down thing was going nowhere, so a few meetings later, just before the
announcements, I handed the ministerial servant going to the platform a note to
read saying “The elders wish to advise the congregation that for the present
time brother Wheels will not be serving as an elder”. He read the announcement.
My wife now believes it is best not to meet. After the C.O.
visit she began using the phrases “I just don’t feeling comfortable discussing
my personal situation” “too painful to talk about” “nothing to be done” which
has worked well for her. And they have tried to meet with her many times.
Myself, I’ve talked to quite a few, and have been quite open
that my beef is with the Watchtower. I won’t allow any JW to come into our home
and I would not attend a formal meeting for encouragement otherwise. The last
time the C.O. turned up I kept him on the step, in the winter cold, even though
it was evident he wanted in. We talked about 15 minutes. If they want to talk I
bring up disturbing points that are not debatable. Tell them I’m really
disturbed and troubled. I would never answer THE QUESTION however and I think
they know it. After all they were the ones that taught us how to use theocratic
warfare LOL.
Each congregation treats the inactive situation differently.
Some ignore them and don’t even visit. Some try to bring them back. Others
prefer to get rid of them. My experience says if you want to fade don’t profess
fatigue or depression just let them know kindly that this is a ‘no help’
situation.
Oh, and be careful what you tell your hubby. He may open up
to other elders, wanting help to correct your viewpoint. When other elders see
you can’t be helped, his info could be used against you.
Good Luck SW!
