This
may give you some insight into the dynamics of your described situation.
Your
partner is disfellowshipped. That is why there will never be eye contact, hellos,
or thank-you’s from a JW. The JW leadership’s interpretation of the Bible
forbids their members from acknowledging him. In reality it is the pressure
used to try to force a return to the cult. Because his father is a church elder,
he and his wife get a free-pass on the ‘no speaking to rule’ and are entitled to
tell your partner what he should do.
You
sound like you’re doing well. Your partner sounds like a great person. You say
his parents now avoid you like the plague. Good. Stop reaching out. You don’t
need them to be a happy family and from what you say, you folks will live a
better life having minimal contact. Establish some limits on what you allow
them to do. Building the playhouse against your wishes was way out of bounds. If
it really bothers you and they continue to intrude on your family values, you
might want to think about dismantling it. Returning it will definitely send a
message. Encourage the girls to continue enjoying the simple things in life. Love
your mom. She sounds like a good person who has turned her life around. She
unfortunately has done it with the help of a cult, but so what, she’s happy and
feels fulfilled. She seems to be in a good place and may need the JW lifestyle
to keep her there. Tell her you’re happy for her but that it’s just not for
you. She will continue hoping and trying to convert you. Don’t get her hopes up
unless you really want to join the cult. And be aware you can get sucked in.
That’s exactly what your partner knows and is referring to when he talks about “tricks”.
As to
the kids RESP, don’t expect help from your in-laws. JW’s leaders discourage
higher learning and believe their kids need to become full-time JW door-knockers.
Without
getting into a big discussion of your in-laws you need to be aware that their ultimate
agenda is for you to conform to their concept of God pleasing….stop pot, get
married, become a Bible-verse-quoting-JW and ultimately help to get their son
undisfellowshipped and back in line.
Concentrate
on those who love you and live your life to be happy. If the in-laws are
avoiding you, even bashing you, don’t lose sleep over it. You’re not required
to reach out to them. Establish boundaries and don’t be shy to let others politely
know when they are attempting to cross them. Thank God that your partner is
aware of their ‘tricks’. You can have a great life ahead of you without the JW
religion.
Wheels
