Ha Golden Girl,......Get a SEX-life.....!!! Better still go on one of them other forums for losers and other men hates...!!!
Sparks
JoinedPosts by Sparks
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30
Flowers At Work
by Xena ini love getting flowers at work!
i got some today from a friend for my birthday..nothing really fancy...but it's just so cool when they come in with flowers and you wonder who they are for....and they are for you!.
anyone else love getting them???
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Sex Offender Database
by Schizm ininterested in knowing who and where those are in your neighborhood who are registered sex offenders?.
if so, then go to google and type in "registered sex offenders in texas".
(of course you would enter the particular state where you live in place of "texas".. if you do happen to live in texas, go to
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Sparks
amac. If your still about, THANKYOU very much for the reply. Unfortunately though, I`m still in the dark....( which go`s for most of us over here in England..!!!). Take-care, Sparks
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Sex Offender Database
by Schizm ininterested in knowing who and where those are in your neighborhood who are registered sex offenders?.
if so, then go to google and type in "registered sex offenders in texas".
(of course you would enter the particular state where you live in place of "texas".. if you do happen to live in texas, go to
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Sparks
Hi Gang..! ( it`s bin awhile...) That`s really intresting about the sex offender`s being listed on the web. I`m in England, and would like to know if we have the same over here. Does any-one know please...?
Love to all. Sparks
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Goodbye and thanx{ personal message 4posters
by Sparks inhi gang, i`m off....if you repied to my "are all cogregations the same?
" thread, theres a personal thankyou message to you.
may your god bless you all and your loved-ones.
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Sparks
Hi Gang, I`m off....If you repied to my "Are all cogregations the same?" thread, theres a personal thankyou message to YOU. May your God bless you all and your loved-ones. Sparks & Fiona.XXX
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Are all congregations the same?
by Sparks ini am english, and live in england.
my parents were witnesses,so i was dragged along to the local.
kingdom hall twice a week back in the early sixties.because i was forced to sit there on a rock.
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Sparks
A BIG BIG THANKYOU TO { in post order]:-
NameWithheld: "...freaks,weirdos,power tripers,demi-gods.." sickenly nosalgic! Thanks for great post.
Starfish: Obviously not! ( love the name "Starfish" ) Thanx.
Mrs Nightworrior: I definately haven`t met you.....your too smart to forget! Thanx.
Ed: A million thanks for the Mr Bean download.He sounds like me after a few pints! Thankyou for going to so much trouble.Your a diamond.!
BlueBrother: I must get a copy of Dylan Thomas` Undermilk Wood....Your so spot-on about the eccentrics, I agree with
you 1,000%.Keep that big heart of yours, it`s beautiful. Thanks man.
Gopher: I wish I would have said that! so utterly true,I`ve definately met him in several congregations! Thanks for post.
home_and_dry: I`m gob-smacked....you should be a writer or film Type-caster! You really know how to paint a mental
picture of some-one perfectly.Thankyou so much.
RAYZORBLADE: I`m one of your greatest fans, I`ve downloaded on floppy some of your posts..As the Americans say-
I love you man. Don`t ever change! YOU used to be a JW!!!?!!!
bay64me: ...Laura Ashley...God that brings back memories.Once I went along with a witness to buy his wife a silk top.Inside the shop he was whispering like he was on Sacrad ground..! it made my flesh crawl. Thanx for posting.
Thirdson: ...you must have read my notes before I posted! I agree so much.Thankyou for saying it for me, and posting.
mrs rocky2: You are such a honest and sincere/genuine person, I would have liked you any-way.Thanx for posting.
ikhandi: God yes..!! I`d for gotten about that type also....You also get females like that too.Once I had two pioneer sisters use my washing machine and shower because they lived in a double bedsitter.One of them complained about my
underware on the bathroom line.She thought I had sexual hang-ups, when really it was her!(pun).Thankyou for the weird memory.
ballistic: Thanks for the post.....I think..?
THANKYOU ALL for your wonderful contributions to this Thread.I`m so pleased you understood my crazy British
sense of humour .I put another post in the other day..( "I don`t hate the witnesses BUT...) which was cut off by some
women who just didn`t get it, and tore it to sheards, and one didn`t seem to even believe I`m English! ( If they clicked on my e-mail box their`d see btopenword.com ...ie British Telecom).So I won`t be starting another Thread.Any-way,I have a new girlfriend and don`t really have the time.I will look in every so often to read your most entertaining and enlightening posts though.Thanks again, may your God bless you and your loved-ones "Marvellous".
Sparks & Fi fi (Fiona)
Footnote: I used American spelling/words =color/Butt/vacation/humor etc...out of consideration
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8
"I don`t hate the witnesses BUT......
by Sparks inhi gang, i took my new girl-friend last night to a country club for a quiet drink and dinner.. it was a good oppertunity to really get to know her.after an hour or so, our conversation went off .
the mundane sex in the city type of conversation :( she`s into the hot candle wax and the sniffin $bills.
thing zzzzz snore...) and into the more personal and philosophical....when i happened to mention.
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Sparks
It was obviously a HUGE misstake to use a name most people can`t relate to, namely the Van de Graaff.Which is a hand or motor driven static electricity generator developing up to 500,000volts !!!These genorators can be found in most science museums and Universities.Any-one knowing this would have realized INSTANTLY that I was joking, and if not by that then by the sniffing $ bills.Over here in England, the sense of humor is either very dry or exaggerated to the point of being crazy.You may have heard of our beloved Spike Milligan for example.If you read ANY of my posts, you will see I ALWAYS mix this typy of humor in my stories.My last Tread was called Some Butt-clenching JW quotes, and a long Thread called Are congregations all the same?. I appologize for also using a type of private joke from other Threads { Hole in sheet }.As I said before, 95% of British humor is exaggeration.However as with all my threads, the basic story is true.In the club I told my new girlfriend my favourite T.V series is Ally McBeal, and she said hers was Sex In The City.When I told her I was an ex-JW she did go on for at least ten minutes,starting each new thought with " I don`t hate the witnesses BUT..." Again I apologize for not making it more plainly obvious I was joking while leading up to the moral of the story.I know many people do appreacate my exaggerated sence of humor from the E-mails and reply posts I`ve recieved.
Sparks & Fiona
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8
"I don`t hate the witnesses BUT......
by Sparks inhi gang, i took my new girl-friend last night to a country club for a quiet drink and dinner.. it was a good oppertunity to really get to know her.after an hour or so, our conversation went off .
the mundane sex in the city type of conversation :( she`s into the hot candle wax and the sniffin $bills.
thing zzzzz snore...) and into the more personal and philosophical....when i happened to mention.
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Sparks
thewiz So sorry you don`t understand the English crazy sense of humour, which is often 95% exaggeration. I can`t understand all you are trying to say...Are you sure your not 100% JW ...you seem to make as much sense as one to me!
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8
"I don`t hate the witnesses BUT......
by Sparks inhi gang, i took my new girl-friend last night to a country club for a quiet drink and dinner.. it was a good oppertunity to really get to know her.after an hour or so, our conversation went off .
the mundane sex in the city type of conversation :( she`s into the hot candle wax and the sniffin $bills.
thing zzzzz snore...) and into the more personal and philosophical....when i happened to mention.
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Sparks
Hi Gang, I took my new girl-friend last night to a country club for a quiet drink and dinner.
It was a good oppertunity to really get to know her.After an hour or so, our conversation went off
the mundane Sex In The City type of conversation :( she`s into the hot candle wax and the sniffin $bills
thing zzzzz Snore...) and into the more personal and philosophical....when I happened to mention
that I had just dumped the JW religion.( she thought that was histerical..;I still can`t see the joke!?)
I didn`t really want to get into religion or politics, as they are both Tabo and passion-killer subjects,
so tried to return to the Sex In The City type conversation wondering if she ever tried the Van de Graaff
thing, being a collage student. But she was like a dog with a bone, she just wouldn`t get off the subject
of me being an ex-JW. So I thought I`d twist the conversation a little to suit my purposes, and told her
the witnesses are not like some religions doing really prevy things with holes in sheets etc...{ ask Ed for
the kinky details}but she would have none of it. So I just kept toppin-up her wine glass and let her rant
on for half an hour without saying any-thing.She REALLY had a bee in her bonnet about the witnesses..
God knows what her pulse and heart rate shot up to, she we really giving it some Wellie, her breasts were
heaving,her face was bright red and she was covered in perspiration..{ Obviously like any Guy, I thought-
stuff the hot wax and Van de Graaff, I `ll just whisper the trigger words to her at the appropiate moment-
..ie.." what do you think of the JWs??").Because I`m an English gentleman,I`m not going divulge what
happend when I whispered the trigger word.
As I`ve been laying here all day in bed recovering from last night, I`ve been thinking of what my girl friend
was saying last night.And can`t help noticing that she started each and EVERY new verbal onslaught or
attack with the same sentance. Which was; " I don`t hate the witnesses BUT.... ". So I thought, because
you guys are so good at filling in the spaces on these posts, I`d leave you to guess what followed -
" I don`t hate the witnesses BUT...... -
21
Some Butt-clenching JW quotes...
by Sparks in"(((i)))would rather die than miss a meeting !".
"i`m reaching out ".
"my only real family, is at the kingdom hall".
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Sparks
Dawn that was perfect,so true!!! They ALL are.But may I just add a tiny bit please:-
".....Leave it in Jehovah`s hands... + Don`t get yourself in a jam !" [BBC Panarama]( Butt clenching doesen`t always work...That statement still gives me the sh**s !]
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7
I think I`m catching Ally Mcbeal sickness.....
by Sparks in....and it`s great!!!
over the past few days, when ever i start to think of the witnesses,i hear bob dylan...i`ll try to explain.
when i was still attending the meetings and still regarded my self as a witness.i would often hear very nasty remarks from other witnesses, mostly elders and full time pioneers, about those that only came to the hall for the memorial or c.os visit.the most memorable time was while out on the minestry with an elder.a young couple went by pushing their baby in a buggy.
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Sparks
OOPS...... Just in case some-ones still there. I am 1,000% straight. I ment I wouldn`t mind having Harrison Fords LOOKS. I really should listen to my self speak!!! I think Ally McBeals the sexist woman on T.V....I`m a legman,mini-skirts. ..corrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr !!!!