Posts by lriddle80

15

If You Were Invited To A Judicial Committee How Did It Go??

by minimus in

was it awful?

did you feel freedom?

was it a kangaroo court!.

lriddle80

Mine was last night, I didn't go and told the elders who showed up at my house it would be futile because if I don't repent of whatever "sin" they say I committed, then the result would be the same as if I didn't go. They said they were just doing their "due diligence" by showing up at my door and inviting me.

22

Any Dogs Returning to their Vomit Here?

by Solzhenitsyn in

i was wondering if any long time jw's that are now pomo's here on the forum now act in a leadership role within another religious organization?.

i do and would enjoy a bit of conversation with this (i assume minority) "sub-culture" of ex-jw's.

.

lriddle80

I have been attending a Baptist Church for over 10 years. I love (sorta) that I grew up as a jw and discovered ttatt because I don't just accept anything that is taught. I have a faith that is strong and I understand that I don't have much really figured out and I don't have to. I just freely worship and trust the holy Spirit to guide my steps. There is meaning and purpose in my life. I see evidence of God as he is shaping my story. There are some hokey things in the religious world, but finding true teaching has been fun. The Bible Project has videos and a podcast, Michael Heiser has an interesting take on cosmology of the Bible and some backstories that are fascinating, CS Lewis is thought provoking and GD Watson's book Our Own God was like air for me at one point. Oh, let's not forget about AW Tozer, either! It's so great to be able to be anchored by Jesus, but get to drift a little in my own studies! I have been in leadership in different ministries, but now I am focusing on raising my son and then I will probably get back into ministry after that. I really love my spiritual journey outside of jw. God is real and he is with me!

24

Heartbroken that my parents are so blind...

by HiddenPimo in

so i sent a letter outlining the scriptures that support shunning versus the 3 times as many that support not shunning.

this is the below response that i received.

i will be announced tomorrow night and wanted them to know since that is the fair and adult thing to do.

lriddle80

The same thing is happening to me. My family is in full shun mode and I will probably be disfellowshipped by Wed. My judicial meeting was set for tonight, but I told the elders that came to my house unannounced last night that I will not be attending it. My "crimes" are celebrating Christmas and going to a different church. The elders reminded me of the gestapo in how they acted. Just following orders, unable to speak freely. I came very close to calling them puppets, but I am glad I didn't. I can't really wrap my brain all the way around the fact that I was brought up in a cult. But, I do have other family and I have a great husband and son and I have people that love me and a great counselor that I see sometimes. Grieve the loss, but move on with your spiritual development. I really love The Bible Project videos and podcasts. CS Lewis writes some thoughtful books, Michael Heiser has some fascinating perspectives and I read a really old book called My Own God by GD Watson that made my heart soar. Wish you the best! Life sucks sometimes, but God is with you if you look for him!

24

My family

by lriddle80 in

i just wanted to get some feedback.

i don't want to go into the whole story, it's too long and it's been told by a lot of people here.

anyway, i think i am disfellowshipped or about to be.

lriddle80

I am thankful for the relationship I am building with my biological father who left when I was 4 months old. I got in touch with him when I was about 26. It's been sporadic over the years. I saw him and his wife and my half sister yesterday and he used to be a jw, so he understands what I am going through. I am thankful I still have some family. So, I should stop whining about what I don't have. Also, again, thanks for listening and putting up with my narcissism. :)

24

My family

by lriddle80 in

i just wanted to get some feedback.

i don't want to go into the whole story, it's too long and it's been told by a lot of people here.

anyway, i think i am disfellowshipped or about to be.

lriddle80

I also wanted to add that growing up the way I did with 4 dad's, I needed some counseling, but never got help. I was a nightmare of a teenager and was very rebellious to my family in the form of not doing what they asked of me and being very sarcastic which I thought was funny. After maturing and getting saved I saw how horrible I had been to my family and everyone, really. I tried to show my family over and over again that I was sorry. I have helped them out financially and with food and supported them to make up for how I had hurt them. I have to realize that I did all I could to show them I have repented of who I was as a child, and I understand that I would have been different had I gotten help then. I have gotten counseling and feel like I am in a good place mentally. I have hope and peace and if my family can not see that and choose to reject me based on false ideas, that's their responsibility, as someone here said. It sucks, though.

88

For any that still believe in God and Jesus, what is your reasoning on this matter?

by BourneIdentity in

in the old testament, god was always full of anger and jealousy resulting in the murder of millions of people.

we’re told jesus perfectly reflects his fathers qualities.

why in the new testament does jesus show no hint of anger and jealousy and wanting to kill people?

lriddle80

:)

Ok, ok, my official response is:

I don't know why innocent babies are killed.

I do know God is good.

And I apologise if I have offended anyone!

24

My family

by lriddle80 in

i just wanted to get some feedback.

i don't want to go into the whole story, it's too long and it's been told by a lot of people here.

anyway, i think i am disfellowshipped or about to be.

lriddle80

When I initially left, it was in the form of marrying a worldly guy that I knew for 4 months that I met at the mall - age 19. Then I was so angry at the control of my family and religion that we basically moved away and didn't tell anyone where we were. After a year or so, after drug use and drinking, I started to make my way back as this guy and I were breaking up. He was a just a vehicle to escape. I really hated the drug lifestyle. Went to a few meetings here and there. I was going to move back home, but my dad said I better not bring anything in the house, like drugs. I was expecting a prodigal son return and didn't get that, so I didn't go home. I met another guy and became pregnant after a year and a half. My mom was married 4 times, so I vowed that whomever I had a kid with, I would stay with that person. Well one day jw came knocking and I tried to go back. The elder said we either had to get married or break up. But I couldn't do that because of my vow. So, I walked away. Years later some people bought us groceries when the economy tanked and then invited us to their church. I heard about Jesus, got saved, repented, etc. I told my parents and got the you are worshipping Satan rhetoric. I was shunned for a while, but they still talked to me over the years. My dad love bombed my husband (he would ignore me, though). My husband thought that going to the memorial was a way to respect my dad and placate my family. I was against it, but my family would love bomb me there and it was nice to get the love, albeit it was to manipulate me. Then this last memorial is the one where the elder that called met me and then started asking my family about me and my mom told him I was going to a church and celebrating Christmas. When the elder called I should have just hung up, but my pride was so high against jw that I wanted to show him I had the actual truth and I wanted to stand up to him. Now my family is shunning me. I have taken some time to think about it and my husband and I had a big conversation about it. I made my decision to stand up to the elder and I have to live with the consequences. I got to say goodbye to my family and maybe they will come around like they did in the past or maybe not. What I really want is to not be a jw and have a relationship with my family. But this doesn't exist. I am leaving it in God's hands and moving on with my life. My family were barely in my life anyway, so I just had to grieve a little and now I have peace about it. Thanks to everyone who took the time to respond. I really like how my life has played out and my husband says I should be glad I escaped, and I am!

24

My family

by lriddle80 in

i just wanted to get some feedback.

i don't want to go into the whole story, it's too long and it's been told by a lot of people here.

anyway, i think i am disfellowshipped or about to be.

lriddle80

Man, I do struggle with narcissism, so I get what you are saying! You nailed it! I hear you!! Thanks for telling me those hard truths!

24

My family

by lriddle80 in

i just wanted to get some feedback.

i don't want to go into the whole story, it's too long and it's been told by a lot of people here.

anyway, i think i am disfellowshipped or about to be.

lriddle80

Thanks!! I think you are right about that! I will.

24

My family

by lriddle80 in

i just wanted to get some feedback.

i don't want to go into the whole story, it's too long and it's been told by a lot of people here.

anyway, i think i am disfellowshipped or about to be.

lriddle80

I see what you mean about how it looks. My husband said something similar.

Honestly, it's a "I am not dead!!!!" Kind of feeling.

I am railing against their cruelty in my mind. I am angry.

Ok, I guess I might stop texting her and let her feel it for a while. I have to forgive all of them for this shunning. I will just work on that for a while! It is what it is.

Jesus said if I try to hold onto my life I will lose it.

Thanks for letting me see that side of things!!