hola la dawg!
Good to see ya again. (waves) Hope all is well with you!
-Z-
Posts by zanex
-
9My Story
by L_A_Big_Dawg ini am not sure if i am posting this in the correct forum.
if not i am sure i will be told.. while, i have hit this site from time-to-time in the past, i have never really frequented it.
until recently.
-
-
-
33
REPOST: For those without Mothers
by Lady Lee inmothers day can bring up many issues for some of us.
for some their mothers have passed away and the opportunity to say i love you in person is forever lost.
for others our mothers are lost to the borg.
-
-
zanex
Dear mom...
I wish you cared enough about me to ignore the blind followings of some old men that tell you and dad what to do...I wish you could see all the love that I want to share but dont trust you enough to give freely...I wish I knew what to feel on these mothers days....I wish I had the relationship with you that you seem to share with everyone around you except your own flesh and blood...I wish you could see me for the person I have become and not the person I had to become to survive...I wish I could show you the type of parent I have become and see that you are proud of me without thinking about what i am NOT....I wish you did not see me as disfellowshipped and saw me as the name that you gave to me when i came into this world...I wish nothing bad upon you mom...even when you are still around physically you dont contact me when i send you emails, you call the local witnesses on the drop of a dime and directly tell THEM that you are not in town to see me as if it was a badge of shame...sigh. Im done..this is depressing. I do miss you mom...happy mothers day I guess...
-Z-
-
1
So I just moved into my new place...
by zanex inme and the future mrs zanex finally got our own place together and it has been great...been here now two weeks and only in town for 3 days out of the week..the new job i am in puts me and the sig other in a hotel so between the hotel for 3 days a week for the wast 4 months and the new place the last two weeks everything has been going great!
this last week we get back to our place and lo and behold there is a freakin tract of some sort inviting me to an assembly in bakersfield!
lol...knew my happiness couldnt last without some sort of "home invasion" by the local witnesses...lol.
-
-
zanex
me and the future mrs zanex finally got our own place together and it has been great...been here now two weeks and only in town for 3 days out of the week..the new job i am in puts me and the sig other in a hotel so between the hotel for 3 days a week for the wast 4 months and the new place the last two weeks everything has been going great! This last week we get back to our place and lo and behold there is a freakin tract of some sort inviting me to an assembly in bakersfield! Lol...knew my happiness couldnt last without some sort of "home invasion" by the local witnesses...lol. Just with a quick look on the front told me everything I needed to know...the talks listed were much the same as they had been all those years ago when I was a wee clueless rank and file peon. I almost wet myself with laughter when i saw it. Now I KNOW that they come here..lol. Now all I have to do is wait....at some point i get to go thru the same old drill at the door with the dubs that will inevitably come back at some point...probably saw me moving in no doubt hiding behind a corner..LOL. Ok enough with the comedy...in all seriousness it seems as though every place I move to I get mobbed until i tell them bout my "disfellowshipping" and they send the local elder around to tell me that he can see me once a year and only for 45 minutes a time...sigh. It must be hard to be so dang predictable....anyhow....
-Z-
-
25
MY BIRTHDAY TODAY...
by helppls in...happy birthday to me....happy birthday to me..... hi everyone!
we'll most likely do a nice dinner tonight as a family (husband, daughter and i), and i will have to buy my own cake.
but we can never call it a birthday anything...the very mention of the term freaks him out!
-
-
zanex
Happy Birthday!!!
-
69
The Point of this Site?
by Samael inforgive me if i sound rude or this question has been answered elsewhere, as i am a neophyte and discovered your site through google in my religious studies.
from reading the various posts it seems that this site serves nothing more than an iconoclastic purpose.
was your experience as jw's so traumatic that now you can but put forth such effort to daemonize the religion?
-
-
zanex
Ballistic: this initial post struck a big nerve with me....I am not the biggest poster in the world but what little i have to say means quite a bit to me...the validity of this site lies within the power that the whole has grown due to individual shunning received from the society in a variety of ways. The old men in bethel probably dont think that there is much life for those of us who have been tossed out like some old garbage but when you put all of us together on a board such as this a new life grows and develops all on its own. Validity....and in the same breath we were called petulant children....I have a five year old and I dont even refer to HER as petulant....but you never fully know what grows in the minds of others...its that freedom that allows even those types of posters to say what they like...I am just laughing this off now...:) thanx tho!
-
69
The Point of this Site?
by Samael inforgive me if i sound rude or this question has been answered elsewhere, as i am a neophyte and discovered your site through google in my religious studies.
from reading the various posts it seems that this site serves nothing more than an iconoclastic purpose.
was your experience as jw's so traumatic that now you can but put forth such effort to daemonize the religion?
-
-
zanex
having gone through years of the active cult while inside the society it is nice to finally have the ability to talk to someone without fear of instant judgement but at the same time someone who understands the type of dependancy the JW belief instills within its rank and file members...the years of self destructive behavior that I went through immediately following my ousting of the jw circle almost ended my life on several occasions...if there would have been someone to talk to that would have understood maybe it wouldnt have gotten so bad...I, for one lost my parents, sister and every "friend" I had had since i was a child. I was left with nobody...when I come here I know that I am not nor have I EVER been alone with these thoughts and/or feelings implanted there by the religious system of control we have all come from on one level or another. Life is good, great, better than its ever been-now but I will, no, I CANT ever forget what happend during those years...the mental, spiritual, emotional just EVERYTHING in life went boom...as long as I come here I know that i was never alone in my insanity and I will never be alone again....
Thats the "point" of this site to me....
-Z-
-
1
Life Update
by zanex inok..well i havent done one of these "life updates" in some time but i just relaized the other day that the only time i post on here is when something bad or something that triggers a bad memory hapens.
i dont think that i want this to be only reason...i have read others on this board trying to celebrate the advancement and happiness of life post df'edness.
life is just that right now-beautiful.
-
-
zanex
Ok..well i havent done one of these "life updates" in some time but I just relaized the other day that the only time I post on here is when something bad or something that triggers a bad memory hapens. I dont think that I want this to be only reason...I have read others on this board trying to celebrate the advancement and happiness of life post df'edness. Life is just that right now-beautiful. I have just moved into a new place with my significant other of now 2 years (longest relationship ever) and with the onset of an awesome job that takes care of me better than I ever thought possible things just seem to be on a very positive upswing for me.
I even had the opportunity to go toe to toe with an active jw at my new job which just happened to have jw's that knew my parents very well...go fig. I was asked point blank to my face in our work break room if I was disfellowshipped...my first impulse was to be honest...why not? whats the worst that could happen? yah right..I really should have known better. I brought it up to management and immediate action was taken and I was able to confront that jw and let that person know I did not accept her asking me that question as it has very direct negative feelings for me and a negative "brand"...she looked dumb for a bit and said "but nobody was around.." I have a photographic memory and those years of being df'd just add to my whole clarity ability...anyhow to make a long story short I got my piece out and management was rigth behind me and the jw was forced to apologize to me and say that it would never happen again...
Did I win something? Hmmmm well yes and no i suppose...some small measure of respect in that I didint let it bother me that much but I let it be known that it was not acceptable to say such things. On the other hand I did tell her the truth...the first words out of my mouth were, " yes I am df'd but it is a part of my life that I do not allow to identify who or what I am." maybe i should have just said I would rather not answer that question...oh well. Thereafter she and her husband (an elder who is very close to my pops and moms and sis) and several other witnesses who work there as well have given me the "smile and nod" treatment....good thing the rest of the office is either married but crazy odd married people or gay men and lesbian women...it does make the work environment a bit easier.
Anyhow..thats all I have to say...I just wanted to take the time to post something good and with a positive feeling behind it.
-Z-
-
6
funny coincidence
by zanex inahhh as the dreaded holiday nisan 14 swiftly approaches i chuckle as it also nears my birthday which happens to fall on the 12th of april...ahhh feels great sharing my most unjw of holidays with the most jw of their holidays...lol.
i think back to all those years of going to that stupid meeting and laugh now...wonder if i should find a kingdom hall, walk in quietly and kind of undercover and when it comes time to sing their "melodies' break into a loud rousing chorus of happy birthday to me!
that would be classic...sigh.
-
-
zanex
halllo everyone! it was and has been a interesting week what with the memorial, my birthday and easter all within one week. It never rains but it pours...and what with the standing up to my parents I have been wiped. I hope next year is easier. At one time that screen name of mine was an actual reference to the medication but not in a long time. I made the slight changes, x to that z but the same underlying idea is there...some type of assistance to make it possible to make it through a day...anyhow. Check ya!
-Z-
-
6
funny coincidence
by zanex inahhh as the dreaded holiday nisan 14 swiftly approaches i chuckle as it also nears my birthday which happens to fall on the 12th of april...ahhh feels great sharing my most unjw of holidays with the most jw of their holidays...lol.
i think back to all those years of going to that stupid meeting and laugh now...wonder if i should find a kingdom hall, walk in quietly and kind of undercover and when it comes time to sing their "melodies' break into a loud rousing chorus of happy birthday to me!
that would be classic...sigh.
-
-
zanex
lol...partying like its 1999 is a given it just was funny to me, the idea of going to the hall on the memorial...and aint that the truth a big ol waste of time...ill take that advice misspeaches...wanna join? ;) lol
and my life has always seemed to take on some type of random coincidence...lol.
-
6
funny coincidence
by zanex inahhh as the dreaded holiday nisan 14 swiftly approaches i chuckle as it also nears my birthday which happens to fall on the 12th of april...ahhh feels great sharing my most unjw of holidays with the most jw of their holidays...lol.
i think back to all those years of going to that stupid meeting and laugh now...wonder if i should find a kingdom hall, walk in quietly and kind of undercover and when it comes time to sing their "melodies' break into a loud rousing chorus of happy birthday to me!
that would be classic...sigh.
-
-
zanex
ahhh as the dreaded holiday nisan 14 swiftly approaches I chuckle as it also nears my birthday which happens to fall on the 12th of april...ahhh feels great sharing my most unjw of holidays with the most jw of their holidays...lol. I think back to all those years of going to that stupid meeting and laugh now...wonder if I should find a kingdom hall, walk in quietly and kind of undercover and when it comes time to sing their "melodies' break into a loud rousing chorus of happy birthday to me! That would be classic...sigh. Anyhow...im jsut hanging at the office chilling..thot id post..hadnt posted in some time.
-Z-