frezno checkin in here...I thnk thats as central valley as it gets...least I think so anyway...
Posts by zanex
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26ANYBODY FROM THE CENTRAL VALLEY IN CALI!?
by NaruNaruChan in.
just curious, anybody from california or the central valley area ???.
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42
What's Your WORST Vice???
by minimus innow that you no longer have any real restrictions, have you allowed yourself to do something "naughty"?
what's your worst vice?
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zanex
heh heh my worse vice ever i would have to say would be that of sexual fornication and that one I did EXTREMELY well...lol hello to everyone from zanex!
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36
What "RULES" Did YOU Want To BREAK?
by minimus insince the organization has so many rules, did you ever just want to break a rule, just to do it?
one rule that i enjoyed breaking was the 15 to 20 minute rule that you were supposed to come to the meeting early.
i was regularly tardy.
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zanex
minimus: I actually DID get "threatened" with the ominous idea of the judicial comittee for the piercings but they busted me for smoking cigarettes first. It was a long week.
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36
What "RULES" Did YOU Want To BREAK?
by minimus insince the organization has so many rules, did you ever just want to break a rule, just to do it?
one rule that i enjoyed breaking was the 15 to 20 minute rule that you were supposed to come to the meeting early.
i was regularly tardy.
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zanex
I think that some of the rules that I thnk I would have like to see broken would have been hmm lemme see...dating without a chaperone, piercing myself without fear of judicial retaliation, hangin out with worldlies wihtout a freaking biblical lecture on "bad associations spoil useful habits" geez I used to HATE hearin those words...lol funny that I ended up turnin into that "bad association" lol. Irony...what fun...
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zanex
see thats the problem with all of these jokes..lol the answers are all so predictable...yep u can slam the door on a jw..LOL
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zanex
whats the difference between a jdub and a yugo?
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47
Does God still exist for you?
by nakedmvistar ini'm quite new to this forum (only a handful of posts).
but from what i've read up to now, it seems apparent that some of you have abandoned your belief in a god.
is this because of trauma brought about by the jw religion?
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zanex
god...hmmm I once knew what that word meant to me. I no longer subscribe to that antiquated thought process. The damage done when I came out of that delusion the FIRST time is not anything that I EVER wish to go through again...I am an agnostic for the only reason that when I became a father that was the closest thing to any type of "spiritual experience" that I have ever had. "god" no longer has any significant meaning. When the troof made us believe that there is best left NO separation between god and self they set in us a very dangerous booby trap. When separation did happen the break was traumatic...to rob one of the belief of god is one thing, but to rob one of the ABILITY to BELIEVE in a god is even worse...thast my take on it. F U JW!
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6
zanex remembers...and writes
by zanex inmy breathing quickens.
something tightens around my chest.
walls closing in.
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zanex
U got it!
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6
zanex remembers...and writes
by zanex inmy breathing quickens.
something tightens around my chest.
walls closing in.
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zanex
ladylee: yah there is a lot of stuff in there...I guess the more I heal the more garbage comes to the surface. I hope I get a little brighter...eventually...
Spaz: always lovely to hear whatever comments u have on something...I'm breathin, life is ok. The more I write, the more it all comes off of me. Self-catharsis is always touch and go stuff. Been feeling kinda odd lately...not that I ever really feel 'normal' tho..LOL <<<<<waves back..
LISA: oh lisa lisa lisa...:) you crack me up...yah poetry isnt for everyone , i heard that. LOL..(wonders about reflections of the paradise) pppfffttttt yah right! Hey we gonna have lunch this week or what? :)
Edited by - zanex on 10 September 2002 12:16:27
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zanex remembers...and writes
by zanex inmy breathing quickens.
something tightens around my chest.
walls closing in.
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zanex
my breathing quickens
something tightens around my chest
walls closing in
no free thoughts allowed to start
fear of immortal judgement
intimidation of the unknown
bars wrap around my mind
growth, evoloution halted, forbidden to be grown
a life denied...
dreams allowed to die
all for a "brother's" redemption
hopes fallen from the sky
freedom comes with a price
freedom brings pain, grief, strife
loved ones, blood alike are lost
is it fair...this life?
shunned by family
avoided by friends
some of us crawl
the rest call an early end
where am I?
where are YOU?
are we at all at peace?
was your answer to that question honest, true?
one lesson we learned
survival depending on how well
"nothing free in life"
heaven as well as hell
am I healed?
no.
for OUR scars no total cure there will ever be
we live, we breathe, we grow
strength in numbers
unity in our new lives, our new group
trust, in corruption, they gave us
in the end...we triumph...whatever that means...
---zanex---
had to put this somewhere...I just sat down and the words just kind of came out...make of it whatever you will...