as tired and cliche as this sounds I think I miss my parents the most...oh well...we all have to play the hand we are given...I havent folded yet..;) but I do miss them...
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Posts by zanex
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39Who do you miss the most?
by Crumpet inparticularly for those who are shunned for reasons of dfing and daing completely, who do you miss the most that no longer has anything to do with you?
and why?
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37
American Idol - did I see a NWT?
by No Apologies inso i am watching american idol(yes i have no life) and one of the winners came out screaming and holding what looked like a nw translation - black cover.
can anybody with a tivo confirm?
it was like just before the horrible guy in the purple shirt came on.
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zanex
That has GOT to be a new low for tv...the witnesses now on american idol...but I agree, the idea of simon as a TMS would be hillarious...now there's a reality show...
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6
"Pushing 30"
by zanex inonly a few more months to go and i will cross over into the 30 and over club.
there are some things i have learned along the way...the jws will never go away....the confusion of being an xjw never goes away...parenting is so much different without the jw component...sometimes my 3 yr old daughter is the wisest person i know, as childish as that sounds...xmas starts to finally make sense, through her eyes...birthdays finally start to have meaning with each new year adding onto the experience of the year before.... i also have finally gleamed something rather painful as well...i will never really have my parents back as the way it used to be.
i think that i have finally come to more of a grip with that.
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zanex
Only a few more months to go and I will cross over into the 30 and over club. THere are some things I have learned along the way...the jws will never go away....the confusion of being an xjw never goes away...parenting is so much different without the jw component...sometimes my 3 yr old daughter is the wisest person I know, as childish as that sounds...Xmas starts to finally make sense, through her eyes...birthdays finally start to have meaning with each new year adding onto the experience of the year before...
I also have finally gleamed something rather painful as well...I will never really have my parents back as the way it used to be. I think that I have finally come to more of a grip with that. I have tried to contact my mother to no avail as the only contact I am allowed to have with her is through my father or if I have my daughter with me. I have come to terms with that. Or at least as much as I am able to come to terms with that. 30, damn, who would have thought Ida made it this far. I am disfellowshipped but I am free...I had a lot of friends who fell and were df'd and some didnt make it and some went back to the thing that they knew and became jws again. I have been down, homeless, broke, starving, strung out, wrung out and rail thin but I am not there anymore. I have worldly people, family, friends, coworkers that helped and a strong sense of self preservation.
30...hmph...wonder what the next 25 years holds for me...I think that I will have earned the rights to be somewhat at peace and somewhat stable. 30...wow I actually made it...more or less...not til april but for the most part I have lasted longer than I anticipated...(chuckles)
30 years around this planet
just kicking around in and out
stuck in a jw box for 17 or em
spent the remainder living balls out
survived..made it this far...
must be doing somethin right
maybe I got some got some good karma
to guide my life in flight
those coins I gave the homeless guy
the burger you gave to that kid
all the little things in life count
to some end of what you did
I've done 30 years coming up on
and life's been up and around
but im still here...you hear ME
course not..jw's never hear the train sound...
thx...
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17
Story caused me to cry tears of joy
by Robdar inproof that animals are sentient, intelligent beings:
by bilen mesfin, associated press writer .
woodside, calif. - when koko the gorilla used the american sign language gesture for pain and pointed to her mouth, 12 specialists, including three dentists, sprang into action.
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zanex
sigh...still I see the pride that people take when using the sign language for communication between man and animal not enough of a reason to get weepy and teary eyed...I suppose my perception is much different...I recall years of incredible oppression and total "control" by those hearing ones who had the money to make any changes. I remember the lack of publicity when dorms for schools for the deaf were being closed down. I remember the fight it took for closed captioning to become a legal mandate...I remember the year deaf protesters/students took over a college campus in protest of invalid leadership..I do not recall these things because of the enormous television reaction but because I was close to such things. American Sign Language has been around for a long long time and it still bothers me when those things that are televised or nationally promoted are either things to do with repair or fixative measures of deaf and hard of hearing or communication gaps being bridged with animals...
I am sorry if I came off as angry...im not angry just frustrated...I work in a deaf agency and I see so much ignorance and the "eh I dont care" attitude a great deal when it comes to communication with the deaf at large but yet I imagine all that money being spent on those monkeys is being "well spent". I do understand the need for scientific research and I do applaud the usage of multiple communication styles with varying species but I just wish that we could take care of our OWN species first...I do apologize for coming off as angst-ridden as I must sound...this one hits a little close to home...
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24
My Lunch with an active JW today
by Terry injohnny and i go back all the way to childhood.
we met in elementary school all those years ago.
he was a chubby, one-eyed kid with freckles and a coat that didn't fit him and i was a tall and vanishingly thin introvert who wore dress pants instead of blue jeans.
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zanex
wow..what a lunch..its amazing the things that CONTINUE to spew out of the mouths of active JW's..lol, I loved the "we used to ride horses too" comment. Made me laugh hard. Ahhh...JW's....
and on another note only a JW would pass off their own inadeqacies as "faults of their children" sigh...that one brought back lots of memories...only difference is now those memories make me chuckle...thanx for sharing the experience! Think you will be having more lunches after this point? a person can only handle being embarassed so much...or maybe not!
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10
JW
by jgiordano inwhat is the best way to quit this "truth" if you're family is jehovah's witness and u pretend like ur a devoted witness.
u wanna leave when ur an adult so the best way is....
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zanex
only 2 wayz out and has been already mentioned neither one of them is 100% perfect. It all really depends on what type of reprecussions one can handle. I opted for the quick and dirty disfellowshipping...it was definitely quick and oh so dirty but amazingly effective. The pain involved though was intense. The rapid dehumanization of ALL residual feelings I had was insane. At any rate..leaving, no matter how it is done, wont be easy...just my 2 cents...
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14
It WORKED!
by Iforget ini found this site by accident while looking for something on the computer for my son.
i have been trying to log on but couldn't seem to get a password.
today i thought...hmm wonder if my spam folder caugh it.
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zanex
elders son here and totally relate...some things will never change about the way that they live their lives and the way they practice their religion. even when it comes to family...it IS good to know that we are not alone....
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17
Story caused me to cry tears of joy
by Robdar inproof that animals are sentient, intelligent beings:
by bilen mesfin, associated press writer .
woodside, calif. - when koko the gorilla used the american sign language gesture for pain and pointed to her mouth, 12 specialists, including three dentists, sprang into action.
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zanex
ok..as the resident xjw with a lifetime of REAL American Sign Language on my record I feel as though I should say something to this article..I read the same article in the online news today and to be honest was NOT impressed...I have been signing 99%percent of my life and have deaf parents and for someone to call the language that I use (ASL) the bridging link between myself and monkeys?! I appreciate the communication with animals thing but seriously...the monkey was taught a set of BASIC HANDSHAPES the monkey was NOT taught ASL....ASL is much more than "my tooth hurts and hurts alot" sorry...this ruffled me a bit the wrong way...Deaf people have been fighting for YEARS to get publicity for their language and one day a freakin MONKEY says that her tooth hurts and all of a sudden national headlines? oh man...anywayz...
(little ruffled son of deaf adults zanex)
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3
Fathers Day
by zanex init was fathers day yesterday...i had an awesome day with my daughter and non jw xlaws.
i had an awesome time.
it is why it is so hard to accept that my own father would never want me to recognize him on just one day of the year.
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zanex
It was fathers day yesterday...I had an awesome day with my daughter and non jw xlaws. I had an awesome time. It is why it is so hard to accept that my own father would never want me to recognize him on just one day of the year. A close dear friend of mine who is a non jw and has little if any knowledge of that dynamic told me to send an email or call my father and to wish him a happy fathers day. I told my friend that it would be of no good to send anything to my elder dad and highly devout mother. It would be just cause for them to get on my case once again. My friend was sort of bewildered and shocked that I could just nonchalantly blow my parents off like that. I have to remind myself that my parents did it to me first and that I have to stand my ground but it was hard explaining why I did not want to acknowledge my fathers anything on fathers day. If anything it just brought me anger when I thought about my dad. All those years wasted...all those things that "normal" people did...all of it wasted on me. Anywayz...ultimately..it was a good day and once again it validated my feelings that I am doing the right thing in never going back...gnite..
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23
How do you interact with your worldly relatives?
by pratt1 in.
now that i am no longer a jw, i can associate, and celebrate holidays and other family traditions with my non-jw relatives.
however i am sometimes bitter because i missed so many experiences as a child with my relatives that they seem almost like strangers rather than relatives.. does anyone else feel this way, and how have you bridged the gap?
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zanex
I have a large worldly family that I have only within the last 4 years started to finally bond with and it is strange I agree...I found myself too having feelings of resentment because of being left out of so much...I even got the nickname the "lost cousin" cuz me and my jw sister were never there for ANY of the family gatherings...im 29 now and have become set in many of my ways. It is hard sometimes but they are patient with me. The fact that religion doesnt affect whatever they are to me makes it very easy for me to feel comfortable with them. I do appreciate my extended worldly family very much but wonder sometimes if I am a dissapointment to them. Ultimately I just try to do the best I can..one way or another it always seems to come out in some type of logical looking chaos...
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