"WTFness" ( from the Unabridged Vidctionary of Modern Watchtower-isms)
Indeed.
AndDontCallMeShirley
JoinedPosts by AndDontCallMeShirley
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1914 to 2014: The funniest JW moments of this century.
by African GB Member Jr ini just thought we could share some of the funniest moments since its the holiday season and we are taking things easy.
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Proud JW.ORG Photos everyone needs to see! The Watchtower Sanctified the Internet for Preaching!
by Trailer Park Pioneer ini am proud to be a jehovah's witness in the last days, what religion has done this much to proclaim the message about the organization?
other religions are preaching about jesus, some wear the crucifixion, other's wear shirts with fishes but we wear shirts with jw.org!
no other religion has our courage!.
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AndDontCallMeShirley
Now this is what I call junk food...
I guess JWs can have their website and eat it too.
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It is the Good News THEY preach now, not of the Bible. Are you as sick of it as I am? New title for Watchtower magazine.
by Wasanelder Once ini am so sick of this pretend religion that has now come to the point of showing its true colors.
the colors are white and blue.
this picture captures the true purpose of the watchtower these days.
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AndDontCallMeShirley
"Millions now Living Will Never Log On"
The WT is becoming more superficial everyday. Telling people to go to a website now constitutes a ministry, and JWs can sleep soundly knowing they did their Christian duty and saved lives by faithfully wearing their "JW Org" pin while they sipped a double Latte at Starbucks on a Saturday morning.
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The overuse of adjectives tells me they don't understand a thing.
by Rattigan350 inthe w 3/15/2015 page 8 para 5 says:.
"one faithful anointed brother with a record of decades of loyal service commented: i just read the book of job in the new edition, and i feel as if i understand it for the first time!
" many have made similar comments.".
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AndDontCallMeShirley
"one faithful anointed brother with a record of decades of loyal service commented: “I just read the book of Job in the new edition, and I feel as if I understand it for the first time!" Many have made similar comments."
Of course, WT's goal is to promote the rNWT as a monumental achievement through its usual self-aggrandizing rhetoric. It must convince JWs they've received something truly special.
However, in true WT fashion, it its attempt to brag about itself it has raised a question JWs will never stop to ask themselves:
"How sh*tty did the old NWT have to be that a JW could read it their entire life and still not understand a damn thing?"
The NWT was supposed to be god's gift to WT and the greatest Bible ever produced, but the above quote pretty much obliterates that claim by WT again shooting itself in the foot.
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AndDontCallMeShirley
JeffT: it takes 11,000 hours to get one more publisher. This has to be about the most inefficient human activity ever.
Use dollars instead of hours and it really puts things in perspective. If a company invested $2 billion and got a return of only $275,000 shareholders would go ballistic. The Board would rightly be called failures.
If a salesman worked 11,000 hours for one sale he'd be fired as a dismal, time-wasting slug.
But in WT Land, the same results are called an incredible, history-making success all due to god's obvious blessing. Uh huh.
50% + of baptisms are children of JWs or people not found in door-to-door activity. So, WT did not baptize 275,000 converts. At best, it baptized 136,000 converts.
375,000 babies are born every day; WT baptizes 375 converts (very generous figure) every day. Essentially WT is bailing out the ocean with a tin cup.
Everyday that passes obligates Jehovah to kill another 374,625 people at Armageddon while WT saves a miniscule 375.
And this is the greatest preaching effort ever made?
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NEW LIGHT ALERT! TARGET 2015 END TIMES! EVE WAS CREATED 40 YEARS AFTER ADAM! THE END IS NEAR!
by Trailer Park Pioneer inthis is going around the kingdom halls now, i thought it was a hoax but are not all the end time dates produced by the organization some hoax or con?
the reason why the end did not come in 1975 was the watchtower society had not put eve's creation in their equation.
i was told when we had a "meet and greet" if "we knew the date of eve's creation we would know the year jehovah was going to destroy the earth.. it's been 40 years since 1975, can you believe it's been 40 years since "stay alive till 1975!"?
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AndDontCallMeShirley
I remember the embarrassment of reading the Time article of July 11 1977, where Fred Franz states that the problem is we don't know how long it took Adam to name the animals, oy.
LOL.
God couldn't move forward until Adam named a Chihuahua a "Chihuahua", and Franz couldn't move forward until he figured this vital piece of information out.
Minutiae and silliness bog god's celestial chariot down into the quagmire of a muddy country road everytime.
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Proud JW.ORG Photos everyone needs to see! The Watchtower Sanctified the Internet for Preaching!
by Trailer Park Pioneer ini am proud to be a jehovah's witness in the last days, what religion has done this much to proclaim the message about the organization?
other religions are preaching about jesus, some wear the crucifixion, other's wear shirts with fishes but we wear shirts with jw.org!
no other religion has our courage!.
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AndDontCallMeShirley
Other religions are preaching about Jesus, some wear the Crucifixion, other's wear shirts with fishes but we wear shirts with JW.ORG! No other religion has our courage!
Here's what JWs miss: when the scummy dross (all other Christians) wear a crucifix, a fish shirt or display a WWJD? bumper sticker, people immediately think of just one thing: Jesus.
When a JW displays their "JW Org" dime store swag, people think of one thing: a manmade organization with a crappy website. No one sees "JW Org" and thinks "Jesus".
Incidentally, how in the hell does it take "courage" to wear a lapel pin or sit by a literature cart?
@ BThe ex-B: Plenty of religious nutjobs in the Middle East and elsewhere are spilling blood and posting it on the Net. JWs don't even get noticed in the modern world.
JWs kill a morning sipping their Starbucks Grande Mocha Latte while they watch their cart comfortably from 30 feet away; Islamic nutters kill people for their faith. JWs vs. Islam reminds me of a saying:
"In a ham and egg breakfast, the chicken's involved but the pig's committed".
Infer from that what you will.
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The spirituality of science
by Coded Logic inthings are often more than the sum of their parts.
the letters typed onto this page, for example, are more than just letters.
they've become a series of ideas and concepts.
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AndDontCallMeShirley
Very nicely written, CL. Pondering the grandeur of it all is certainly humbling, and to consider the building material that constitutes what is "us" is awesome indeed.
Carl Sagan expressed his thoughts, which mirror yours very closely:
"Science is not only compatible with spirituality; it is a profound source of spirituality. When we recognize our place in an immensity of light‐years and in the passage of ages, when we grasp the intricacy, beauty, and subtlety of life, then that soaring feeling, that sense of elation and humility combined, is surely spiritual. So are our emotions in the presence of great art or music or literature, or acts of exemplary selfless courage such as those of Mohandas Gandhi or Martin Luther King, Jr. The notion that science and spirituality are somehow mutually exclusive does a disservice to both."
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NEW LIGHT ALERT! TARGET 2015 END TIMES! EVE WAS CREATED 40 YEARS AFTER ADAM! THE END IS NEAR!
by Trailer Park Pioneer inthis is going around the kingdom halls now, i thought it was a hoax but are not all the end time dates produced by the organization some hoax or con?
the reason why the end did not come in 1975 was the watchtower society had not put eve's creation in their equation.
i was told when we had a "meet and greet" if "we knew the date of eve's creation we would know the year jehovah was going to destroy the earth.. it's been 40 years since 1975, can you believe it's been 40 years since "stay alive till 1975!"?
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AndDontCallMeShirley
The reason why the End did not come in 1975 was the Watchtower Society had not put Eve's creation in their equation.
This is interesting considering the claim WT makes ad nauseum, specifically: WT is "spirit-directed". If it's spirit-directed, why didn't it just tell WT when Eve was created?
1874, 1914, and 1925 were "god's dates, not ours". 1975 was based on the alleged end of 6,000 years of man's existence and the beginning of the seventh millennium.
WT is the poster child for the Fool's Errand and will never learn its lesson...
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Ever tried "Dry January"? Join Ms. OM & me for a 30 day liver vacation!
by Open mind inthere are a few things i picked up from watchtowerism that i still find value in.
(although, i could have easily picked them up elsewhere.).
one of these is the 30-day test to abstain from all booze.. .
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AndDontCallMeShirley
"... in view of the potential dangers of overdrinking or alcohol dependency, why not do just that for a month or two? Or, since there is a strong tendency to deny that there is a problem, resolve for a month to abstain at all times when having a drink is normal." -- W 4-15-85, p.20, Accept God’s Help to Overcome Secret Faults
I wonder if Lot did this after his two daughters shagged him while he was in a drunken stupor?
In a link on the WTL cd-rom it referrenced this little gem:
*** w70 5/15 p. 314 Avoiding the Snare of Homosexuality ***
"... With regard to homosexuality there is much uncertainty as to cause. It is now generally recognized that physical factors... Then again, a young boy may get started in homosexuality by being seduced by homosexual men
...In many cases the older men gave the young boys wine or liquor... Thus when older men, strangers, offer to buy a young boy an alcoholic drink, there may be an ulterior motive."
A secondary benefit of a 30-day alcohol break, apparently, will also help you to determine if you are gay or not.