Ok, here goes:
1. I like dogs. I love to read the daily text every morning while sitting on Thomas Crapper's contraption. I believe that god loves us more than we love ourselves. I don't like slimboyfat because his threads irritate me and make me think excessively about mundane stuff. I consider myself to be a scholar and a gentlemen. I have a phobia of objects that have too many holes in them
2. I find for the most part that SBF's posts and threads are entertaining and thought-provoking (although sometimes a bit cheeky). I hate cats. I love butterflies. I'd rather listen to fingernails scratching a blackboard than Stevie Wonder or ABBA. To the man who invented the hyphen: I'd like to kick you in the balls because you make punctuation a head-scratching, hair-pulling process.