Hi Believer,
I read your OP(but not the following 6 pages yet) and I respect the fact that you choose to hold on to your beliefs. I question my beliefs as an atheist all the time. I'm always looking for evidence either way. I have found a mountain load of evidence that strongly indicates that we evolved randomly and by accident. I have found very little indication that we were created and ZERO evidence that a loving, caring, fair and just super being created us.
I have to agree with some atheists that religion is a problem, but I don’t agree that God is the problem. I can separate the two.
This is the crux of my problem with allowing myself to even day dream that there exists an intelligent god worth worshipping. There are thousands of religions on earth today claiming to represent and be represented by god. The fact that god has let religion decay to a clumpy confusing blood spilling child sacrificing mess shows me there is no god. I have a problem with a god who let's people do terrible things in his name(s).