Posts by wildfire

34

What's The First Step To Leaving The "Trut...

by minimus in

jw
friends

for those that have entirely left, what was it that first got you seriously thinking that this really wasn't the truth?

for those that may be in just mentally, you can answer too....

wildfire

well actually I started to read the novel 1984 by George Orwell ( my daughter who isin the trooths book) and i could NOT PUT IT DOWN,,,, THERE were so similarities ,, BIG BROTHER IS WATCHING....FREEDOM IS SLAVERY......THE CONCEPT OF DOUBLETHINK WHICH MEANS THE POWER OF HOLDING TWO CONTRADICTORY BELIEFS IN ONE'S MIND SIMULTANEOUSLY,, AND ACCEPTING BOTH OF THEM AND ALSO ORWELL SHOWS QUITE CLEARLY THAT IN A SYSTEM IN WHICH THE CONCEPT OF TRUTH AS AN OBJECTIVE JUDGMENT CONCERNING REALITY IS ABOLISHED,,, ANYONE WHO IS A MINORITY OF ONE MUST BE CONVINCED HE IS INSANE...........

WELL LIKE I SAID I COULDNT PUT IT DOWN and I have struggled with depression for years,,,and if anyone knows a song by PINK IN THE LYRICS IT SAYS: YOUR'E JUST LIKE A PILL,,,, INSTEAD OF MAKING ME BETTER,,,,, YOU ARE MAKIN ME ILL !!!!!!!!!

THAT WAS THE START OF THE END FOR ME AND THEN my daughter caught me on the apostate website and told the elders and well ( surprise the very next day i got an uninvited visit from the PO and a newly baptized brother ) But the worst were the freakin words of crap that came out of his mouth,,,, but the final straw was when he told about a retarted boy that they df for smoking at 15,,,,, and he didnt even know where he died (he died of leukemia) the rumors were he died in california,,,, hell i knew the kid and his folks he died in our city in the hospital i worked at;;;;;;; can you imagine what the new brother thought....haha i wish i could have been a little fly in their car as they left 2 hrs later.... I could go on but i am too agitated maybe more later

46

I AM A NEWBIE, NEED HELP

by wildfire in

i have been lurking around here for some time,,, i personally know laurie fitzwater and what she has gone through we lived in bradenton.

florida in the late 80's .... she is the one telling me to come here for help ,,, a hug ,,, i have a nightmare of a story which involves married to a professed annointed one who made me and my childrens life pure hell on earth....i guess he needed to be replaced as he was df twice and was never a ms or elder..... go figure i suffer from severe depression and post-traumatic stress and have tried to end it all numerous times... but the turning point for me was this demon--inspired internet and all the truth it contains i also read george orwells.. 1984 --big brother is watching ,,,, doublespeak;;;; its us versus them just to name a few of my eye---opening events i have 5 children,,, and only one my baby (16) in the borg....... i really cant go on ,,, i have emailed lady lee and she helped me alot .... but i have to be careful...... there are spies everywhere....i still attend meetings.

to some extent... missed the assembly this weekend tho.. so please be gentle and reasure me.... i am baby--stepping,,, i am doing the work.............

wildfire

THANK YOU ALL ,,,, I FEEL SO LOVED...HERE AND LAURIE,, MY TRUE HERO,, AND ADOPTED DAUGHTER,,, I HAVE 3 BUT HELL ONE MORE NEVER HURT... HAHA,,,,, AS FAR AS THERAPY,,, IT IS A GODSEND FOR ME,,, MY THERAPIST COULDNT BELIEVE ALL THE POSTS WHEN WE WERE IN SESSION AND LOOKED UP THIS SITE,,, I HAVE YET TO TELL HIM I HAVE POSTED I THINK HE WILL BE PROUD OF ME....... MAKING PROGRESS,,,SLOW DELIBERATE ,,,,, BUT IT HAS KEPT ME FROM CHECKING OUT OF THIS CRAZY WORLD AND TINK HEY YOU LIKE POETRY WELL WHEN I WAS IN THE PSYCHE WARD A WHILE BAC K I WAS INSPIRED TOWRITE AT LEAST 10,,,,,,, I WILL LEAVE YOU WITH ONE THAT WAS WELL LIKED BY THE DOCTORS THERE HERE GOES

ANGER

WHEN THE ANGER COMES

WHAT WILL YOU SEE

CAN I HELP MYSELF

OUT OF THIS TRAGEDY!!!!!!

THE SHAME, THE GUILT WILL BE MY LOT

UNTIL ALL MY DEMONS

HAVE BEEN CAST OUT

PLEASE BRING BACK MY LAUGHTER,,,, MY HEART

I NEED TO FEEL LIKE I HAVE A PART

IN SOME VAST EXTERNAL PLAN

WHEN THE ANGER COMES

WHO CAN REALLY SAY???

WHERE THE ANGER ENDS

AND THE HEALING BEGINS.................HOPE YOU ALL LIKE IT ,,,I HAVE MANY MORE....

ALL MY LOVE....WILDFIRE

33

Who are the 144,000?

by EXJWBrit in

i swallowed and believed such much shit when i was a jw that i have a few more questions to ask anyone who has the answers.

the 144,000 is a big gripe of mine........ right, i was told that the 144,000 found out they were one of the anointed when they had a flash of "revelation" at some point and truly believed it or they had known since they were a child.

what a load of shit!

wildfire

DEAR EXJWBRIT AND ALL OTHERS THIS IS A NEWS FLASH !!!!!!HOLD ON TO YOUR SEATS I WAS MARRIED TO SOMEONE WHO CLAIMED TO BE OF THE ANNOINTE D ,,AND LETS SEE WHEN I MARRIED HIM IN 1979 HE WAS 25 AND HAD BEEN ANNOINTED FOR OVER TWO YEARS....... I SUFFERED ALOT AT THIS MANS ARROGANCE AND CRAZINESS.... WE HAD 3 CHILDREN TOGETHER AND I BROUGHT 2 FROM A PREVIOUS MARRIAGE,,,,, i guess jah needed a NATIVE AMERICAN... TO RULE IN HEAVEN.... HELL HE THOUGHT HE WAS ALREADY A KING HERE ON EARTH...... THE ONLY GOOD THING ABOUT HIM WAS HE WAS MUSICALLY TALENTED AND WE SANG GREAT TOGETHER.......BELIEVE ME WHEN HE WAS IN THE TROOTH EVERYTHING CONNECTED WITH THE INDIAN RELIGION WAS DEMONIZED..... ANYTHING WITH ANY INDIAN SYMBOL WAS BAD ,,,,,,, but he was never a ms, elder, pioneer ,,,,, he just believed the sun rose and set on him ALONE.... ITS HARD FOR ME TO WRITE ABOUT THIS AS THE MEMORIES OF OUR LIFE TOGETHER ARE SOOOOO TRAUMATIC......WE MOVED AROUND A LOT BUT HE MADE THE FATAL ERROR TO STAY TO LONG IN ONE PLACE and that we did in Florida in the 80s....(i know Laurie Fitzwater and her story well ) well he was df in florida in late 80s and because of his manipulating ways i thought for sure they wouldnt believe me,, but ihad help he beat up 2 brothers.....( who were scared as hell to testify against him but they did and he was de throned.........) BELIEVE ME PEOPLE WHEN I TELL YOU I HAVE KNOW N AT LEAST 5 PEOPLE WHO CLAIM TO BE OF THE ANNOINTED AND NONE OF THEM WERE AS MANIPULATING AND CRAZY AS THIS ONE,,, OH BY THE WAY AFTER HE WAS DF HE DECIDED TO GO BACK TO HIS PEOPLE (THE SIOUX OF SDAK) AND BECOME SOME SORT OF MEDICINE MAN...... WELL I GUESS YOU COULD CALL HIM A MAGICIAN OF SORTS HE NEVER PAID A LICK OF CHILD SUPPORT FOR HIS 3 KIDS WHEN THEY WERE ENTITLED TO IT....... SO BELIEVE ME there are some horrendous stories out there i am living proof email me whoever wishes to know more of the gorrryyy details

46

I AM A NEWBIE, NEED HELP

by wildfire in

i have been lurking around here for some time,,, i personally know laurie fitzwater and what she has gone through we lived in bradenton.

florida in the late 80's .... she is the one telling me to come here for help ,,, a hug ,,, i have a nightmare of a story which involves married to a professed annointed one who made me and my childrens life pure hell on earth....i guess he needed to be replaced as he was df twice and was never a ms or elder..... go figure i suffer from severe depression and post-traumatic stress and have tried to end it all numerous times... but the turning point for me was this demon--inspired internet and all the truth it contains i also read george orwells.. 1984 --big brother is watching ,,,, doublespeak;;;; its us versus them just to name a few of my eye---opening events i have 5 children,,, and only one my baby (16) in the borg....... i really cant go on ,,, i have emailed lady lee and she helped me alot .... but i have to be careful...... there are spies everywhere....i still attend meetings.

to some extent... missed the assembly this weekend tho.. so please be gentle and reasure me.... i am baby--stepping,,, i am doing the work.............

wildfire

THANK YOU DISMEMBERED,,,,, I HAVE BEEN IN 3 CAR ACCIDENTS ,,, HAVE SERIOUS BACK PAIN AND YES I DO TAKE MEDS,,, PAIN PILLS,,,, ANTIDEPRESSENTS,,AND SO FORTH,,,, I KNOW i just need to slow down and take it as it comes,,,,,, but sometimes i just get soooo angry ,, i don't know if you have ever been there,,,, i have been lied to,, decieved,,,i read all the time and yes i have ordered ray franz book which i am eagerly awaiting.... but i need a hug realllll bad right now ,,,,, i just feel over whelmed with all i know,,,,, how i dont want to be a hypocrite and all i hope you know what i mean..... but thanks for caring i really appreciate it

46

I AM A NEWBIE, NEED HELP

by wildfire in

i have been lurking around here for some time,,, i personally know laurie fitzwater and what she has gone through we lived in bradenton.

florida in the late 80's .... she is the one telling me to come here for help ,,, a hug ,,, i have a nightmare of a story which involves married to a professed annointed one who made me and my childrens life pure hell on earth....i guess he needed to be replaced as he was df twice and was never a ms or elder..... go figure i suffer from severe depression and post-traumatic stress and have tried to end it all numerous times... but the turning point for me was this demon--inspired internet and all the truth it contains i also read george orwells.. 1984 --big brother is watching ,,,, doublespeak;;;; its us versus them just to name a few of my eye---opening events i have 5 children,,, and only one my baby (16) in the borg....... i really cant go on ,,, i have emailed lady lee and she helped me alot .... but i have to be careful...... there are spies everywhere....i still attend meetings.

to some extent... missed the assembly this weekend tho.. so please be gentle and reasure me.... i am baby--stepping,,, i am doing the work.............

wildfire

HEY GUYS I AM GETTING IT FROM ALLLL SIDES ,,,,LAST NITE I VISITED WITH MY DEAR DF FRIEND WHO I HAVENT SEEN FOR MONTHS AND WELL I TOLD HER ALOT -----AS MANY OF YOU KNOW ------HOWTHAT GOES WELL ANYWAYTHEN I GET HOME AND A WITNESS FRIEND I HAVE KNOW FOR OVER 20 YRS CALLS UP AND SHE IS COMING OVER FOR DINNER AND THE CO IS AT THE MEETING TONIGHT..... SHE IS TRUELY A GOOD,, FRIEND,,BUT I JUST DONT HAVE THE ENERGY TO GO THRU WITH EVERY DOUBT I HAVE WITH HER EVEN THO HER KIDS AND HER HAVE BEEN TREATED LIKE NOBODYS FOR YEARS -----HER DAD WAS AN ELDER AND WELL SHE ALWAYS SAYS ITS NOT MANS ORGANIZATION BUT GODS ---------HELP I AM FEELING VERY ANXIOUS THERE ARE ONLY SO MANY PILLS FOR ANXIETY I CAN TAKE WITHOUT OVERDOSING ...IF YOU GET MY DRIFT .... I KNOW BABY STEPS,,,, BUT SOMETIMES IT IS SO HARD TOBE PUT IN THE MIDDLE WITH OLD FRIENDS

46

I AM A NEWBIE, NEED HELP

by wildfire in

i have been lurking around here for some time,,, i personally know laurie fitzwater and what she has gone through we lived in bradenton.

florida in the late 80's .... she is the one telling me to come here for help ,,, a hug ,,, i have a nightmare of a story which involves married to a professed annointed one who made me and my childrens life pure hell on earth....i guess he needed to be replaced as he was df twice and was never a ms or elder..... go figure i suffer from severe depression and post-traumatic stress and have tried to end it all numerous times... but the turning point for me was this demon--inspired internet and all the truth it contains i also read george orwells.. 1984 --big brother is watching ,,,, doublespeak;;;; its us versus them just to name a few of my eye---opening events i have 5 children,,, and only one my baby (16) in the borg....... i really cant go on ,,, i have emailed lady lee and she helped me alot .... but i have to be careful...... there are spies everywhere....i still attend meetings.

to some extent... missed the assembly this weekend tho.. so please be gentle and reasure me.... i am baby--stepping,,, i am doing the work.............

wildfire

HEY THERE YOU THIRSTY ONES,,,,,, OH NO it just popped into my mind--controlled head ,,,, can you believe it ,,, this past weekend was the very first circuit assemblythat i didn't go to since i was baptized in 1974..... you just CAN NOT IMAGINE WHAT THAT FEELS LIKE,,,,,,,, my daughter who is in the trooof went and she was not very happy with me ,,, ican imagine all the "friends" nosily wondering where i was hahahahaha .... let them wonder,,, we have a pioneer sister who is seriously disturbed ... she has a stuffed dog with casters on its feet so she can walk it around the block... (and the freakin worldly people know about it and shake their heads.... ) sodoes that give you an idea of what part of a nutty congregation i am involved with..... i could tell you more stuff... it just cracks me up ... and they think i have lost MY MIND.............UMMMMMM NNNNOOOOO I DONT THINK SO AHHAHHHAHAH

46

I AM A NEWBIE, NEED HELP

by wildfire in

i have been lurking around here for some time,,, i personally know laurie fitzwater and what she has gone through we lived in bradenton.

florida in the late 80's .... she is the one telling me to come here for help ,,, a hug ,,, i have a nightmare of a story which involves married to a professed annointed one who made me and my childrens life pure hell on earth....i guess he needed to be replaced as he was df twice and was never a ms or elder..... go figure i suffer from severe depression and post-traumatic stress and have tried to end it all numerous times... but the turning point for me was this demon--inspired internet and all the truth it contains i also read george orwells.. 1984 --big brother is watching ,,,, doublespeak;;;; its us versus them just to name a few of my eye---opening events i have 5 children,,, and only one my baby (16) in the borg....... i really cant go on ,,, i have emailed lady lee and she helped me alot .... but i have to be careful...... there are spies everywhere....i still attend meetings.

to some extent... missed the assembly this weekend tho.. so please be gentle and reasure me.... i am baby--stepping,,, i am doing the work.............

wildfire

to LESLIE V,,,,,, OMG YOU WERE ALSO BLESSED WITH BEING MARRIED TO ONE OF THE HOLY OF HOLIER THAN THOU ANNOINTED ONE YOU MUST TELL ME MORE ABOUT IT ,,,, WE NEED TO COMPARE NOTES....... MY HUSBAND was of native american descent so i think he thought god needed an indian to bring to heaven their special needs,,,, believe me when he was in good standing all the Indian stuff was demonized but heck now he is a chief or something in his old Sioux tribe in SDak...... i heard he was like a Medicine Man with magical powers ...... all i know is he is magical he disappeared for years and didn't pay a lick of child support for his 3 kids..... just felt like venting hay this is fun ,,,, almost like therapy

46

I AM A NEWBIE, NEED HELP

by wildfire in

i have been lurking around here for some time,,, i personally know laurie fitzwater and what she has gone through we lived in bradenton.

florida in the late 80's .... she is the one telling me to come here for help ,,, a hug ,,, i have a nightmare of a story which involves married to a professed annointed one who made me and my childrens life pure hell on earth....i guess he needed to be replaced as he was df twice and was never a ms or elder..... go figure i suffer from severe depression and post-traumatic stress and have tried to end it all numerous times... but the turning point for me was this demon--inspired internet and all the truth it contains i also read george orwells.. 1984 --big brother is watching ,,,, doublespeak;;;; its us versus them just to name a few of my eye---opening events i have 5 children,,, and only one my baby (16) in the borg....... i really cant go on ,,, i have emailed lady lee and she helped me alot .... but i have to be careful...... there are spies everywhere....i still attend meetings.

to some extent... missed the assembly this weekend tho.. so please be gentle and reasure me.... i am baby--stepping,,, i am doing the work.............

wildfire

THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH FOR YOUR SUPPORT,,,,, I am crying now because you give me more love than my so---called brothers and sisters who never even call tosee if i am dead or alive. here is one of my poems i hope you like it the name is:::: TIME TO HEAL

THE LESS BROKEN HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF THE MORE BROKEN

BUT WHERE DO WE FIT IN?

A L OOK, A SIGH, A CHANCE TO BEGIN

TO SEE THE PAIN INSIDE

TO CARE WITHOUT COMMITTMENT

TO COMMIT WITHOUT A CARE

DARE WE SAY WE WILL BE THERE

TO CALM OUR BROTHERS FEARS

DON'T JUDGE ME FOR THE WAY I SEEM

THE MASK I WEAR IS REAL--------

JUST REALIZE FOR ALL ITS WORTH

THE BROKEN NEED TIME TO HEAL!!!!!!!!!

46

I AM A NEWBIE, NEED HELP

by wildfire in

i have been lurking around here for some time,,, i personally know laurie fitzwater and what she has gone through we lived in bradenton.

florida in the late 80's .... she is the one telling me to come here for help ,,, a hug ,,, i have a nightmare of a story which involves married to a professed annointed one who made me and my childrens life pure hell on earth....i guess he needed to be replaced as he was df twice and was never a ms or elder..... go figure i suffer from severe depression and post-traumatic stress and have tried to end it all numerous times... but the turning point for me was this demon--inspired internet and all the truth it contains i also read george orwells.. 1984 --big brother is watching ,,,, doublespeak;;;; its us versus them just to name a few of my eye---opening events i have 5 children,,, and only one my baby (16) in the borg....... i really cant go on ,,, i have emailed lady lee and she helped me alot .... but i have to be careful...... there are spies everywhere....i still attend meetings.

to some extent... missed the assembly this weekend tho.. so please be gentle and reasure me.... i am baby--stepping,,, i am doing the work.............

wildfire

thank you so much for caring,,, there is so much to say i don't know where to start or end ,,, i do write some intense poetry that tries to explain the pain,, the anger and where i am in the big picture ...... if you want i will post some of that here,,, i also love to sing,,,, thats what got me into marrying my "chosen one " hubby,,, i had to know how to harmonize... so listen girls out there with good voices BE CAREFUL.... I HAVE TO ADMIT THAT WAS THE BEST PART OF OUR MARRIAGE HE PLAYED GUITAR AND WE HAD A BAND ,,, IT WAS A GREAT ESCAPE,,HE HAD SOME VERY STRANGE IDEAS ,,,, READ THE BIBLE THRU MANY TIMES AND WAS VERY SMART AND MANIPULATING TO SAY THE LEAST......HIS SON WHO IS 22 IS IN PRISON NOW AND IS ALSO SUFFERING FROM PARANOID SCIZOPHRENIA AND IT IS HEARTBREAKING,,,, LIKE I SAID I COULD WRITE A BOOK !!!!!!!!!!!

46

I AM A NEWBIE, NEED HELP

by wildfire in

i have been lurking around here for some time,,, i personally know laurie fitzwater and what she has gone through we lived in bradenton.

florida in the late 80's .... she is the one telling me to come here for help ,,, a hug ,,, i have a nightmare of a story which involves married to a professed annointed one who made me and my childrens life pure hell on earth....i guess he needed to be replaced as he was df twice and was never a ms or elder..... go figure i suffer from severe depression and post-traumatic stress and have tried to end it all numerous times... but the turning point for me was this demon--inspired internet and all the truth it contains i also read george orwells.. 1984 --big brother is watching ,,,, doublespeak;;;; its us versus them just to name a few of my eye---opening events i have 5 children,,, and only one my baby (16) in the borg....... i really cant go on ,,, i have emailed lady lee and she helped me alot .... but i have to be careful...... there are spies everywhere....i still attend meetings.

to some extent... missed the assembly this weekend tho.. so please be gentle and reasure me.... i am baby--stepping,,, i am doing the work.............

wildfire

I HAVE BEEN LURKING AROUND HERE FOR SOME TIME,,, I PERSONALLY KNOW LAURIE FITZWATER AND WHAT SHE HAS GONE THROUGH WE LIVED IN BRADENTON. FLORIDA IN THE LATE 80'S .... SHE IS THE ONE TELLING ME TO COME HERE FOR HELP ,,, A HUG ,,, I HAVE A NIGHTMARE OF A STORY WHICH INVOLVES MARRIED TO A PROFESSED ANNOINTED ONE WHO MADE ME AND MY CHILDRENS LIFE PURE HELL ON EARTH....I GUESS HE NEEDED TO BE REPLACED AS HE WAS DF TWICE AND WAS NEVER A MS OR ELDER..... GO FIGURE I SUFFER FROM SEVERE DEPRESSION AND POST-TRAUMATIC STRESS AND HAVE TRIED TO END IT ALL NUMEROUS TIMES... BUT THE TURNING POINT FOR ME WAS THIS DEMON--INSPIRED INTERNET AND ALL THE TRUTH IT CONTAINS I ALSO READ GEORGE ORWELLS.. 1984 --BIG BROTHER IS WATCHING ,,,, DOUBLESPEAK;;;; ITS US VERSUS THEM JUST TO NAME A FEW OF MY EYE---OPENING EVENTS I HAVE 5 CHILDREN,,, AND ONLY ONE MY BABY (16) IN THE BORG....... I REALLY CANT GO ON ,,, I HAVE EMAILED LADY LEE AND SHE HELPED ME ALOT .... BUT I HAVE TO BE CAREFUL...... THERE ARE SPIES EVERYWHERE....I STILL ATTEND MEETINGS. TO SOME EXTENT... MISSED THE ASSEMBLY THIS WEEKEND THO.. SO PLEASE BE GENTLE AND REASURE ME.... I AM BABY--STEPPING,,, I AM DOING THE WORK.............