Posts by Markw1509

65

Disfellowshipped but still forced to pay maintenance or alimony

by Markw1509 in

can i ask for your opinion?

i have been disfellowshipped and divorced for a few years.

my ex-wife and my daughter have cut off all contact from me.

Markw1509

Thanks for everyone's comments on this.

it's been interesting to see your thoughts, ideas and opinions.

i have paid my ex for over ten years now. My daughter has grown up and got married. I wasn't allowed to know she got married, and I don't know if she has children. Here in the UK, laws are slightly different to the US and Canada, and it's difficult to get court orders rescinded.

I will naturally continue to pay the money. The reason I posted was to get your opinions on how morally acceptable (and Christian) it was for someone to accept money while claiming to have nothing to do with the payer.

Personally, it's not about the money. It's the principle of accepting money from someone who should be shunned. Is accepting money acceptable if you should be shunning?

thanks for all your interesting thoughts, folks. And thanks for the different opinions. That's the beauty of this site...we can share ideas freely and can have our own opinions without fearing whether we will be disciplined for not agreeing with a particular line of thought.

Refreshing, to say the least!

65

Disfellowshipped but still forced to pay maintenance or alimony

by Markw1509 in

can i ask for your opinion?

i have been disfellowshipped and divorced for a few years.

my ex-wife and my daughter have cut off all contact from me.

Markw1509

LOL Adam

Thanks for that. Though it might be fun to try it once.

I still pay 300 GBP per month (by bank transfer, as she is 300 miles away).

I will continue paying because Caesar told me too, and I don't want a court order against my name.

Just wondered about people's opinions on her still taking on the money, yet rejecting any other contact, as it's 'unscriptural'.

38

"Building 1.5 Million Square Feet in 4 Years will NOT Happen Without Jehovah's Spirit"

by Yan Bibiyan in

a quote from the latest jw video pimping the warwick project.

link below, quote @7:30 mark.. http://www.jw.org/en/jehovahs-witnesses/activities/construction/video-world-headquarters-jehovahs-witnesses-history-warwick/.

i call bullshit!.

Markw1509

Hi emeth

the point being made here is that, just because a large building complex was put up by people who are following a cause, it doesn't naturally follow that the God of the Universe has blessed it.

Saying it is 'evidence' of God's blessing is a step too far for many people.

Many other religions have completed bigger projects and the WT will say they haven't had God's blessing.

Simply saying something doesn't make it true. It's the can't-be-proven claim by the GB that has caused so many of the comments here.

231

NEWBIES are leaving like crazy! Be very afraid WT

by clarity in

jw
friends

# 3 newbie post.

first of all, the newbies have set a record here!.

have you ever seen a 4pg post where 21 new members reply!

Markw1509

What I love about this on-line community is the fact we don't need to try to convert through guilt. No-one here has a hidden agenda. We aren't trying to gain followers or prove anything.

It's simply a way to converse with like-minded free-thinkers who have freed themselves from the shackles and chains of the GB.

What you focus on is your reality. The WT simply focuses on the small percentage of bad in the world and ignores the great amount of good that's going on.

So, folks, keep up camaraderie here and love to you all!

65

Disfellowshipped but still forced to pay maintenance or alimony

by Markw1509 in

can i ask for your opinion?

i have been disfellowshipped and divorced for a few years.

my ex-wife and my daughter have cut off all contact from me.

Markw1509

Thanks, ruderedhead.

I actually went back to court three years ago and had the maintenance reduced from £700 to £300 per month.

My ex was angry, but had to accept it.

Nothing has changed since that moment, so I don't have any valid reason to get it changed. Yet.

If things change, I will go back to court. As I mentioned, it's the principle....have nothing to do with him in any way, but still take his money!

Thanks and best wishes

Mark

65

Disfellowshipped but still forced to pay maintenance or alimony

by Markw1509 in

can i ask for your opinion?

i have been disfellowshipped and divorced for a few years.

my ex-wife and my daughter have cut off all contact from me.

Markw1509

Thanks again, folks.

Yes, the courts have said that I have to pay my ex-wife for life , or until she lives with someone for six months or more. (As she's still a witness, that probably won't happen).

I know I have to pay by law, and will continue to do so. I can afford to. It's just the principle that irks me.

I am not allowed contact in ANY way. No phone, no email, no letter, nothing.

But she still takes my money. In what way is that shunning? It's either all or nothing, surely?

She doesn't NEED the money. She lives on her own in our (her) 5-bedroom house, fully paid-for.

It's the principle, that's all.

Thanks again for all your comments, folks. Really grateful for you interest in thsi post.

Best wishes

Mark

231

NEWBIES are leaving like crazy! Be very afraid WT

by clarity in

jw
friends

# 3 newbie post.

first of all, the newbies have set a record here!.

have you ever seen a 4pg post where 21 new members reply!

Markw1509

I joined in March this year, but made my first post last weekend.

I absolutely, definitely, totally and unequivocally LOVE this site!

It's full of humour, deep-thoughts, research and passion that I never ever saw in the congregation.

Thanks everyone for putting the biggest smile ever on my face!

I just love this wild, whacky, incredible world we live in, a world I was told was wicked and destructive when I was brainwashed.

Not from where I'm looking from!

Thanks to you all.

27

What does freedom from The Watchtower look like in the life of a former JW?

by JustMeNonJDub in

jw
friends

thoughts?.

Markw1509

I echo all the above.

My life started the day I left it all.

I never realised when I was in the 'bubble' how I was controlled. Everything I thought was controlled. I was told what to believe. I was not allowed my own thoughts. How silly I was, but I never saw it.

I live a long way from the congregation I attended. I've often thought what I would say to a witness if they came to my door now. It would probably go something like this:.....

"Yes, I have beliefs. Actually, I'm told what to believe by a small group of people in the USA. They tell me what to believe and how to live my life. I have to believe them, because if I don't, my friends won't speak to me. I'm not sure what I believe really; it kinda changes each year or two. But it's still right, even when it changes. How do I know it's right? Because they tell me it is. What if they tell me something and then change their minds? Don't be silly! That just proves that God is with them and showing them the way. There might be detours along the way, but we're still going in the right direction. How do I know? Because those people in the USA tell me it's right!"

Reading that back to myself, it sound everso-slightly strange. Yet that is what I believed.

Now, I am free to research, free to examine the kind of life I would like to lead, and free to choose.

It's such a weight off my shoulders.

And I know I'm not the only one, thanks to these wonderful websites.

Thoreau said "The bulk of men lead lives of quiet desperation". I honestly believe that is the prime emotion within the rank and file of the Witnesses. They live in quiet desperation, hoping against hope that what they believe will actually happen. Sometime. Someday. Please.

65

Disfellowshipped but still forced to pay maintenance or alimony

by Markw1509 in

can i ask for your opinion?

i have been disfellowshipped and divorced for a few years.

my ex-wife and my daughter have cut off all contact from me.

Markw1509

Thanks, folks, for all the replies....very interesting and informative.

Actually, I was referring specifically to the 'alimony' that my ex-wife gets, and whether it is right for her to take the money, even though she has shunned me and has absolutely nothing to do with me.

This has been going on for 10 years. My daughter is now grown up and married. I wasn't even told that she was getting married. Not allowed.

I left the religion. My punishment for life is not to know what is going on in my daughter's life. She won't allow contact. That's her perogative. I have to accept it. I have accepted it, for now. I don't even know if she has had any children.

I left my ex-wife with the house when I left. I took nothing. She had everything. And she wants the money I send every month, because the courts told me I had to pay, as my job was well-paid.

It's certain that others face the same situation. But it leaves a nasty smell that she continues to take my money, when in every other sense of the word, I must be 'shunned'.

So it's really a case of "don't have anything to do with him...don't talk to him, don't answer his letters...no contact at all....oh, but you can still take his money because Ceasar said you can"

Sorry, but it all just stinks.

And they say they don't split families up. What a joke!

Again, thank you folks for all your comments and great points. I am grateful to you all.

65

Disfellowshipped but still forced to pay maintenance or alimony

by Markw1509 in

can i ask for your opinion?

i have been disfellowshipped and divorced for a few years.

my ex-wife and my daughter have cut off all contact from me.

Markw1509

Can I ask for your opinion? I have been disfellowshipped and divorced for a few years. My ex-wife and my daughter have cut off all contact from me. They live 300 miles away from me, and I'm not allowed to know anything. They enforce the shunning rule to the letter.

however, the courts told me to pay ex-wife maintenance or alimony.

does anyone know if WT allows the ex-wife to still receive money from me, even though I should be completely shunned? Or do they pull the 'obey Ceasar's Law' dictate to appease their conscience of receiving money from a disfellowshipped person?

For instance, I could be making my money from crime or gun-running or drugs or the like (I'm not, by the way!) but would my ex-wife still be able to accept money from me?

Appears double standards to me...take his money but otherwise don't have anything to do with him. Any other experiences or comments?