Posts by Oubliette

24

Letter to a DF Parent

by thedepressedsoul in

thank you for raising me in this religion, this religion that when people get disfellowshipped you have to cut off all communication, even family.

thank you for making sure all of my friends, work partners, family and 99% of my life was centered around this organization.

thank you for taking the time to study with me, read the bible, making me excluded from all school activities and friends so that my whole social life was surrounded by jw.

Oubliette

DOC: The problem with that statement is that this OP says he has a wife and responsibilities. That suggests he is not a "child"

Anyone with a parent is still a chlid. Also, holding on to anger and resentment knows no age limits.

24

Letter to a DF Parent

by thedepressedsoul in

thank you for raising me in this religion, this religion that when people get disfellowshipped you have to cut off all communication, even family.

thank you for making sure all of my friends, work partners, family and 99% of my life was centered around this organization.

thank you for taking the time to study with me, read the bible, making me excluded from all school activities and friends so that my whole social life was surrounded by jw.

Letter to a DF Parent

by thedepressedsoul in

thank you for raising me in this religion, this religion that when people get disfellowshipped you have to cut off all communication, even family.

thank you for making sure all of my friends, work partners, family and 99% of my life was centered around this organization.

thank you for taking the time to study with me, read the bible, making me excluded from all school activities and friends so that my whole social life was surrounded by jw.

Oubliette

Incognito,

Some angry children want to hold on to their anger and never let it go.

It is almost as if it is some precious part of them. Unwilling to let it go, they stubbornly resist a reconciliation with a parent who loves them and only wants to reunite.

Unfortunately, the policies and practices of the JW religion inculcates learned helplessness and a victim mentality into most of its members.

It takes tremendous courage to overcome these behaviors, courage and lots of hard work.

Oubliette

24

Letter to a DF Parent

by thedepressedsoul in

thank you for raising me in this religion, this religion that when people get disfellowshipped you have to cut off all communication, even family.

thank you for making sure all of my friends, work partners, family and 99% of my life was centered around this organization.

thank you for taking the time to study with me, read the bible, making me excluded from all school activities and friends so that my whole social life was surrounded by jw.

Oubliette

Incognito, no. TDS is not my child. although the situation is extremely similar to that of my children.

Since TDS wrote this letter to a parent that will probably never read it, I thought I would respond with the letter that I would love for my children to read, if only they would.

It was therapeutic for me and might just help TDS look at things a little differently.

Oubliette

24

Letter to a DF Parent

by thedepressedsoul in

thank you for raising me in this religion, this religion that when people get disfellowshipped you have to cut off all communication, even family.

thank you for making sure all of my friends, work partners, family and 99% of my life was centered around this organization.

thank you for taking the time to study with me, read the bible, making me excluded from all school activities and friends so that my whole social life was surrounded by jw.

Oubliette

Yes, I do realize the situation I have put you in and for that I am sorry. Very sorry.

I taught you these beliefs and then I realized they were wrong. I tried to gently tell you as I myself was just beginning to wake up to TTATT, but I didn't exactly know how to go about it. That was over 10 years ago now and since then I've learned so much.

Everything I did was because I thought (at the time) it was the right thing to do. I realize now how wrong I was. I tried to get our whole family out, but your mother wouldn't listen. You know how she is. I then tried to get you kids out with me, but I couldn't figure out how to do that within the confines of the cult. Finally I just had to get out myself.

If only you knew how many times I've wished I could go back and handle things differently! I now know better ways to leave, but the end result is always the same. I'm out and your mother is still in. You kids are always in the inevitable loyalty bind created by the cult mentality and your mother's venomous hatred of me for being strong enough to leave the cult.

Since I've left, I tried countless times and in every way I can imagine to reach out to you. I love you and I do know how hard this must be for you. Even though we hardly communicate, I sense your anger. Although it hurts to hear you voice it, I know that you need to say it and I need to hear it.

I don't expect things to be like they were before. I don't expect things to be "normal." In fact, I expect them to be better. But I know that won't happen all at once. It takes time and it will be difficult. But it can be done. I know. I've done it for myself and you can too.

Have you thought about why I still reach out to you? Do you know why I want to have a relationship with you?

What you do need to know are these things: It doesn't have to be this way. Please, just talk to me. I can help you figure it out. I can help you figure out how to be yourself, your true, authentic self. That is all I have ever wanted for you.

I know you think I walked out and left you holding the bag, but that's wrong. When I left our family ended, but that doesn't mean that you and I have to end. I've always been here for you and I am here for you still, even now.

I love and I miss you, very, very much. Please, just talk to me.

Dad

8

How does "spirit directed" not equal "possessed"?

by Simon in

religious people in general and the jws in particular often make claims of being "spirit directed".. normally it's thrown out as a rather glib claim of being inspired by god / jehovah and to justify any decisions they make via an appeal to authority.. but think about it for a moment - suppose it were true ... how would it actually work?

when they talk about elders appointments and decisions being "spirit directed" what exactly does the mechanism consist of?

does some unseen force make hem raise their hand when they otherwise wouldn't?

Oubliette

If you talk to God, you are praying; If God talks to you, you have schizophrenia. - Thomas Szasz

8

How does "spirit directed" not equal "possessed"?

by Simon in

religious people in general and the jws in particular often make claims of being "spirit directed".. normally it's thrown out as a rather glib claim of being inspired by god / jehovah and to justify any decisions they make via an appeal to authority.. but think about it for a moment - suppose it were true ... how would it actually work?

when they talk about elders appointments and decisions being "spirit directed" what exactly does the mechanism consist of?

does some unseen force make hem raise their hand when they otherwise wouldn't?

Oubliette

Well, since there are no such things as "demons," there can be no such thing as a "possession."

It is generally recognized today that what in the past was often attributed in ignorance to "demon possession," can now be diagnosed as one of a variety of mental illnesses. These are often--thankfully--very treatable with modern medicines and/or cognitive therapy.

How nice to have left the dark ages of superstition and fear and entered the modern scientific age.

The WTBTS however is still firmly stuck in the dark. When they call people that disagree with their delusional world-view "mentally diseased" apostates, they project their own mental illness on others and openly expose their own fears and doubts.

Let's review: It's a cult!

35

Behold the face of indoctrination! My moms guilt tripping letter to me.

by BU2B in

jw
friends

i wish i knew what it was like to have an unconditionally loving mother.

i know she loves me and cares about me, but only within her narrow wt spectrum.

if i do not meet her narrow expectations, i am a failure to her.

Oubliette

BU2B, sorry your mom is FOG-ging you. But at least you understand why she is doing this, ... not that it takes away the pain of losing out on unconditional love.

Honestly, if it's conditional, it ain't love!

21

a situation I know of and the mind set of the elders.

by joe134cd in

ok here's the situation i know of.. a women was in a situation where she was forced to reveal a hidden sin and was given a private reproof for it.

before this she had an other wise clean slate.

btw the reproof was for an unrelated matter and had nothing to do with apostasy.

Oubliette

She should be thankful!

35

Before knowing TTATT did you really believe in things as...

by roberto avon in

jw
friends

did you really believe in things as ;- the earth is only 6000 years old- the 144.000- 1914, based upon the destructiono of jerusalem- harmagheddon or the end of the world coming soon???

?i married a jw when i was an interested person and studying with the jw's ( not the way they wanted) but i told my wife before marrying her that " most probably " i would never have been a jw.she accepted me as i was and married me.

after that i had interrupted the study for one year, i started all over again with an elder of my wife's cong.

Oubliette

The idea that the earth is only 6,000 years old is not a WTBTS doctrine or teaching.

I was, however, persuaded to entertain the other ideas you mentioned because I was persuaded to believe that JWs had "the Truth." And when I say, "entertain," I mean that I tentatively accepted that they MIGHT be true because I accepted that the religion was true.

I have since come to know that these are demonstrably false premises. No one individual or group can possess "the Truth" to the exclusion of others. Truth is not a tangible, concrete item which can only be in the physical possession of a single entity at a time. That is just ridiculous. Also, even if a group does have SOME ideas right, it does not follow that they have ALL ideas and teachings correct.

My reason for tentatively accepting the various JW doctrines was that, for a time, I really believed that Jehovah's Witnesses taught truth and were God's visible organization on Earth. Once I saw the WT leaders and the entire religion for the scam that it is, there was no longer any reason for me to believe tenuous doctrines that never had any independent basis in the first place.

In other words: I accepted JW beliefs because I was duped into believing JWs were special. It was NOT the case that I became a JW because I a priori believed their unique and often bizarre beliefs and unusual interpretations of scripture.

It all flows from buying into the idea that there is only "one true religion." There is not. That is a fallacy.

Let's review: It's a cult!