I find that I've become suspicious of compliments and over-sensitive to criticism. Because a common technique of Elders was to compliment someone before going down to business, that is, giving hard counseling or discipline.
Elders are actually trained to do this. One of my fellow elders called it "The Counsel Sandwich." Usually the "compliments" were contrived just so the elder(s) could give the offending brother or sister whatever "counsel" it was they thought they needed.
Elders don't know, appreciate or respect appropriate boundaries.
