A bit of introspection on this one ... Just read on someone's post that a compliment makes him "float" for hours, and it got me thinking; Within the spectrum of comments that people make about me, from compliment to criticism, which is the type that most affects me?
After my experience as a Jehovah's Witness, I find that I've become suspicious of compliments and over-sensitive to criticism. Because a common technique of Elders was to compliment someone before going down to business, that is, giving hard counseling or discipline. That way, the compliment routine always sounded like a means to an end, rather than a genuine expression of appreciation. I still have conflicted feelings about compliments - I want to enjoy them, but there's always a voice of caution on the back of my head "Ok, now here comes the hammer..." and I start feeling uncomfortable. Flattery is a dead end with me.
Maybe because of my past professional experiences and my experience in the star chamber of a JC, I find it hard to believe when someone says that they're solely criticizing someone's ideas or actions, but not the person per se. Maybe because the person criticizing isn't tactful enough to make that distinction; but also perhaps because as a matter of habit, we see any criticism as a personal attack, and react accordingly in self-defense. I find in my case that criticism that envolves my honesty, or which I perceive as deliberately unfair makes me go ballistic.
What's your experience?
Eden
