Surreptitious

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Posts by Surreptitious

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  60

  Troublemakers

  by Xena in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i'm curious were any of you ever labeled troublemakers?

  lol i never was....i was the shy retiring type, pretty much kept to myself.

  a loner.

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  Surreptitious

  I love strong sassy women.

  Smell isn't everything.
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  75

  Has Anyone Ever Met Any Celebrities?

  by imallgrowedup in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  this is a spin-off of another thread where my *mild and chaste* friend, mouthy, admitted to wanting to meet her dream man, tom jones, and that she would even go so far as to throw her bloomers at him, if that is what it would take to get his attention!

  well, the mental picture this painted was far too much for me to bear, so i encouraged her to save her red polka-dotted "unmentionables", not only because she might need them in the future, but because i didn't think she'd have to go that far to get his attention.

  and i said that - because of a personal experience with him.

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  Surreptitious

  I saw Janet Jackson's breast.
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  18

  need a laugh?

  by Brummie in

  1. social
  2. humour

  have you ever spoken and wished that you could immediately take the words back....or that you could crawl into a hole?

  here are the testimonials of a few people who did.... .

  i walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and asked .

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  Surreptitious

  Here are top ten comments made by sports commentators that they would like to take back:

  1. Weightlifting commentator at the Olympic Snatch and Jerk Event: "This is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning during her warm up and it was amazing."

  2. Ted Walsh - Horse Racing Commentator: "This is really a lovely horse

  and I speak from personal experience since I once mounted her mother."

  3. Grand Prix Race Announcer: "The lead car is absolutely, truly unique,

  except for the one behind it which is exactly identical to the one in

  front of the similar one in back."

  4. Greg Norman, Pro Golfer: "I owe a lot to my parents, especially my

  mother and father."

  5. Ringside Boxing Analyst: "Sure there have been injuries and even some

  deaths in boxing - but none of them really that serious."

  6. Baseball announcer: "If history repeats itself, I should think we can

  expect the same thing again."

  7. Basketball analyst: "He dribbles a lot and the opposition doesn't like

  it. In fact you can see it all over their faces."

  8. At a trophy ceremony BBC TV Boat Race 1988: "Ah, isn't that nice, the

  wife of the Cambridge president is hugging the cox of the Oxford crew."

  9. Metro Radio, College Football: "Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like

  they've got eleven Dicks on the field."

  10. US Open TV Commentator: "One of the reasons Arnie Palmer is playing so

  well is that, before each final round, his wife takes out his balls and

  kisses them. Oh my God, what have I just said?"

  And one more: Dizzy Dean

  and his side kick were announcing a baseball game and they noticed a

  couple below them in the stands kissing each other very often. After much

  discussion Dizzy said, "I've got it. He's kissing her on the strikes and

  she's kissing him on the balls.
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  91

  Coke or Pepsi ???

  by dh in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  personally i prefer pepsi, but i like coke after greasy food.

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  Surreptitious

  Wow, sounds like onacruse spiked his pepsi with some rum!

  Next thing you know, he'll be flirting again.
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  36

  What happened to JWD last night?

  by Elsewhere in

  1. jw
  2. friends

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  it was down for a long time.

  what was going on?.

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  Surreptitious

  colod sweat

  That sounds pretty damn gross.
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  15

  Inane question of the year...so far.

  by meat pie in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hello everyone, this question was asked of me by a 'tame' jw today, 'have you thought of starting smoking?'.

  the question was put as if now that i don't go to meetings any more, i'd want to take up smoking!

  as i'm middle-aged and packed in the fags yonks ago, it was especially stupid.my reply was, 'good god no, why would i?'.

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  Surreptitious

  "Smoke? No my 400 pound S&M hermaphroditic lesbian lover won't let me."
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  16

  Co-Existing with JW Neigbours - Ideas?

  by jgnat in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  you can spot 'em at christmas.

  the spare, neat house with no santy clause out front.

  the jw neighbour.

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  Surreptitious

  Booze. Ply them with booze. Works every time.
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  4

  I've often wondered.....

  by Surreptitious in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  what if one of these jw's that we talk about working with or living next to or whatever are actually fading or even posting on this forum?

  from outward appearances he/she would look like a jw and would be categorized as such.

  there could easily be someone in my workplace that had been df'd from years back in another town perhaps.

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  Surreptitious

  What if one of these JW's that we talk about working with or living next to or whatever are actually fading or even posting on this forum? From outward appearances he/she would look like a JW and would be categorized as such. Take myself for example. There could easily be someone in my workplace that had been DF'd from years back in another town perhaps. Upon learning that I was a JW, they might run to this board and say "OMG! There's a dub in my office!" I would then read it having no idea that it was someone in my office, and they would have no idea I was reading it. Oh the irony.

  Syrup
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  27

  was your "talent" wasted in JW-ville?

  by doodle-v in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  awhile ago when i heard that prince had joined the borg immeadiately i thought "man, what a waste of talent" and yes i do think that musically prince is very talented.

  anyway, it got me thinking about how many of us wasted our time, money and effort in jw-ville.

  an actor or actress, a singer, a famous writer?

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  Surreptitious

  If you're good at singing

  Now that's one thing I'm excellent at! I can singe just about anything. I don't even have to try. It just happens. The other day I was making pancakes and the doorbell rang and my hands were full and I had to go to the basement because that's where the stuff that my hands were full of belonged and I went to the basement and it was cold there and dark and I couldn't turn on the light because my hands were full so I kind of felt my way along the wall and I tripped and then I got up and then I tripped again and then I got up again and it was awful and I finally just threw the stuff that my hands were full of down on the floor and then I went back upstairs and they were still ringing the bell and then the started banging and I got kind of scared and so I grabbed my Grandma's big Bible off the mantle and held it above my head and I was gonna whack 'em if they came through the door but they didn't so I just opened the door instead and there were two people standing there and they said, "Oh, we see you have your Bible....please turn to the book of Daniel" and then they read about many roving about and I said, "Yes that's clear" and then they said they smelled something and I said, "Excuse me" and they said no something else and I gasped and went to the kitchen and sure enough I'd done it again. Singed the pancakes. Like I said, I can singe just about anything.

  Oh wait, you said sing.............nevermind.
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  21

  Me....

  by logansrun in

  1. jw
  2. friends

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  http://www.noeklue.tv/brad/012.jpg

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  Surreptitious

  Thanks Bradley, that pic certainly explains a few things...