The Rebel, your thoughtful post speaks to the value of being a good listener.
Your thoughts, feelings and personal experiences are a great way to start sharing and healing.
Contentious debates are another thing entirely, and those who listen carefully and extensively before weighing in are going to get the best reception and will be able to help move the debate forward.
It's not like chess; thinking several moves ahead prevents you from listening and responding to the actual thoughts behind the comments. This can only happen when you slow down, listen closely, and truly understand the other person's point.
Which is exactly why drinking and posting is a recipe for disaster. Drinking loosens inhibitions. And, it takes effort to inhibit an impulsive, emotional response.
Methinks you are a wise man. :)