I totally feel for you. I experienced the same, first with my father, then mother, than grandmother. JW's couldn't give 2 sh*ts about ailing members. ZILCH. Here is my story (re-posted) as it really shows the heartlessness my family was exposed to. Not trying to hijack your thread either, merely add my own to it. Hope your mother is able to beat that dreaded cancer.
REPOST:
Back in 2007, my mother
finally had her liver transplant. She needed one due to a genetic
disorder (Alpha-1, or A1AD). She never drank or did drugs in her life.
She was in her early 50's. She got her liver, but had several
complications which stretched out about 3 months. Unfortunately, she
became terminal. I am an only child, my father died 8 years previously. I
had to travel 250 miles each way to the UVa Medical Center (known for
their bloodless tranplants) from Pennsylvania. The entire experience was
pure hell on me and my family. 99 out of 100 people make it through the
transplant and home. My mother was in the unfortunate 1% who don't make
it.
A few days before her passing, she was still awake and with it. I knew
the end was near, as I was power of attorney and making several medical
descisions. I was away from my wife and son, 250 miles away at a huge
medical center. I was sitting alone one evening in my car in the parking
garage. I was alone, scared for my mother, and at one of the lowest
points in my life. My mother was a JW for 25 years. Never been marked,
reproved, DF'd, always in good standing. Got in decent hours, but that
dropped as her health dropped. She was somewhat inactive for about the
previous 5 years or so, but still known. I was never baptized, but
obviously recognized as an approved associate, never bad association. I
never did anything to gain that title.
I decided to call an Elder,
the PO it turned out of our congregation. It was about 6-7:00 at night.
One of his children answered, and when I asked for this Elder, he was
put on. He explained they were in the middle of supper. I explained the
situation to him. He said, "I'm sorry to hear about this situation Wing
Commander, but what would you like ME to do about it?" I was like,
"Uh...well my mother and I could use some spiritual support at this
time, etc, etc......" I couldn't believe I actually had to explain this
to him. Do you know what this guy, whom I thought was a nice fellow by
the way (never had a problem with him until this point) actually said to
me? He said he'd have to look up the names of the LOCAL congregation
Elders down in Virginia, and that THEY could come and shephard me and my
dying mother. He'd "get back to me." He then promptly said goodbye and
hung up. By the way, he offered up NO scriptures, no spiritual support
at all on the phone - NONE.....and this guy is an Elder! I sat there in
my car staring at my cell phone with my jaw about on my lap, alone at
7:00 at night, mother dying in the hospital across from me, and I just
lost it - a grown man of 27, started to flat out BAWL in his car. It's
like I snapped.....I couldn't believe how my mother and I had just been
disregarded. What made the situation worse, is that I was informed by my
mom's "Worldly" coworkers here in PA that they were taking 2 days off
to come down in a van and visit with my terminal mother, cheer her up
and say their goodbye's before her passing. I was floored by their
insistance, and very grateful, and yet now here I was being handed a
steaming hot pile of crap by a JW Elder that I actually trusted, a
family man. And did he ever get back to me? - NO. I actually had to call
him. He also didn't attend my mother's funeral or even call or send a
card.
This is just one of the MANY fine examples of what the JW's
call "Christian Love" that they pile upon their flock. I could go on and
on with what I've lived and experienced while growing up in the JW
religion. I wonder, how does YHWH God and Christ Jesus view such
actions?? Are they proud to have Their names rubber-stamped by the
Governing Body upon this religion?????
So many of my wife's (all
non-JW's) as well as my own extended family (non-JWs) showed me and my
family such love, hospitality, and warmth in my deepest hour of need.
Even my mother's neighbours helped out around her house while she was in
the hospital or offered me their services. Where were the JW friends of
her and I that I grew up with for the past 25 years??? They were no
where to be found!!!! None, NO ONE.
This identical treatment
occured when my father died in 1999, my mother and I were left to fend
for ourselves. That was my mom's wake-up call.
What of the "fine
shephard" who couldn't be bothered to barely talk to me on the phone
that evening back in 2007? Why, he was killed in a freak construction
accident almost exactly a year later. I, unlike HIM, actually attended
his "Memorial Service" out of respect for him and his family. It was the
largest funeral I ever attended in my life, with about 1,000 people
showing up due to him owning a business and JW's and Non-JW's attended.
It was a disgusting and hypocritical funeral talk, as it spoke him
playing SPORTS in high school, something all of us JW's are forbidden
from doing, being as it brings undue attention and glory to the
individual. Guess it was ok for him to do it though, huh? Of course it
ended with an infomercial for the WT society of course. Several friends
of mine who did work on job sites with his company and attended said it
was the most awkward and worst funeral they ever attended.
I was
tempted to get up in front of everyone and give my above "experience"
with him, but decided against it. In the end, he was dead and not worth
the effort. I feel I am the bigger man then him for attending his
funeral even though he didn't attend my mother's.
By their love you will know them, indeed.
- Wing Commander