Posts by Candlestick02

8

San Diego bound

by SheilaM in

hey for those of you in southern cali especially san diego thunder and i will be there the 3rd of september and we have some time before six and after 6 to meet you, in fact we may have the whole time not sure if i want to meet some of the mom's of the boys or not.

lol let us know...

also i will be starting a thread before we leave i so you all can send your shouts to ant on his graduation

Candlestick02

I'm in SD also. I'm a Newbie.. so I don't know who you guys are, but I'd like to get to know you better. Hopefully.

Candlestick

30

Were You FORCED To Become a Jehovah's Witness? .... Then Why Did You Stay?

by minimus in

jw
friends

did you feel that you were made to become a witness through coercion, threats or other means?

if you did not feel forced to become a jw, why did you stay??

?

Candlestick02

I too went to counseling. I didn't initially go because I was torn about the religion. Yeah I had issues with it, but moreso I had issues w/ my controlling mom. She was physically FORCING me to dump my "unbelieving" boyfriend, and at 23 I said 'enough is enough.' If you're gonna lose your mind and hit me because of it, then so be it...but I'm outta here. Fortunately for me, my extended family (also "raised" in the troof but ALL inactive) were ready and more than willing to help me out.

But, because I had SO much on my plate , even my very understanding boyfriend couldn't help me and insisted I go to talk to someone. Thankfully, I did. I went to a free counselor at the school I was going to and that helped me see things from an outsiders perspective. I cried the ENTIRE first two or three sessions. It was bad! But, I was still holding on. I was still IN the religion and was sugar-coating some of their very direct answers; but after a few more sessions it felt really good just ti talk and be heard, and not have to "cover" for the organization and keep their image 'clean and pure.' It was very much needed and I was later (about a year later) able to finally free myself from the guilt of leaving the borg.

Candlestick

43

WELCOME, Newbies! Yall check in now, ya hear?

by Frannie Banannie in

jw
friends

.

lotsa newbies here.....i keep trippin' over yall when i'm readin' posts....why don't yall check in here and introduce yourselves?

we'd all love to hear from yall, dontcha know..... frannie b

Candlestick02

Thanks again!!

Yeah, my exodus was a process. Not unlike many others here. But, all I can say is that I'm glad it happened. Who would have thought that I wasn't the fortunate kid that I thought I was... being BORN into the perfect religion! But, then again I was a kid and that's all I knew.

43

WELCOME, Newbies! Yall check in now, ya hear?

by Frannie Banannie in

jw
friends

.

lotsa newbies here.....i keep trippin' over yall when i'm readin' posts....why don't yall check in here and introduce yourselves?

we'd all love to hear from yall, dontcha know..... frannie b

Candlestick02

Thanks for the warm welcome. I've been around for a while, mostly reading. I don't post very often. I try to get on hear to keep in touch with all of you. Frannie, I must say it's been interesting to have you jump on here and take to it so well. You've cracked me up on several occasions! Keep on posting.. even if I can't get on to write.

For the record, I'm a 28 yr old in Southern California (any others out here?) Left the borg around 3 or 4 years ago. I was a 2nd generation Dub, born in.. OMG.. 1975! My grandma about had a heart attack when my mom decided to have another child THIS year.. of all years. Uh..thanks Grandma! Anywho.. I never saw myself as being anything but a JW.. but, thank God I finally saw the REAL truth. I'll post my story soon. In the meantime, I like reading here and getting encouraged by others who have 'been there'..and can relate. I love reading others out-stories as well.

Thanks again for the nice welcome. This site is the best!

Bye for now,

Candlestick

63

Loved & Lost?

by StinkyPantz in

jw
friends

do you agree with this quote?

"'tis better to have loved and lost.

than never to have loved at all.

Candlestick02

I agree with most comments here. That it IS better to have loved and lost (unfortunately) . . than to never experience it. To me, it's better for having loved SO deeply is one of the blessings that life, and God, bestows on us. Despite the pain and hurt that I felt after the relationship had ended, I still don't regret for one second that I experienced it. If it had never happened I wouldn't be where I am today. And that is HAPPY and living MY life, not the borgs life. So, even though the loss of that love "poisoned" me for a while, I'm ever thankful that it happened at all.

42

How many of you know you want children or knew you wanted children before ?

by sandy in

jw
friends

did you always know you wanted children?.

if so how did you feel after.. if you do not want children, why?.

i am not sure if i want children and i am interested in all your opinions.

Candlestick02

tinkerbell82: Yes, I'm in the same situation. Well, similar, I should say. I really want kids someday. My husband isn't sure. Actually, i think that's me kidding myself. I'm pretty sure he doesn't want kids, but he gives it a disclaimer and says that possibly someday change his mind. He's not saying he'll never want kids. He's saying he just doesn't want them now and doesn't foresee that changing. I guess I'm no help since I'm in your shoes too. . .which is why I asked earlier (yesterday) if there are people who regret having them That's what worries me most. That we'll one day have a child and because he wasn't 100% bought-in on the idea (and merely 'gave in' for me) what if he regretted it? I wanted to know if there were couples out there who one person was on the fence and then what happened afterward.

Question for you, Tinkerbell82, how long have you and your boyfriend known this about each other?

42

How many of you know you want children or knew you wanted children before ?

by sandy in

jw
friends

did you always know you wanted children?.

if so how did you feel after.. if you do not want children, why?.

i am not sure if i want children and i am interested in all your opinions.

Candlestick02

kgfreeperson: Thanks for your honesty.

I ask because I'm lookin forward to - in the future - having kids. My husband, however, isn't so sure he wants to have kids. He's afraid of losing our freedom. Of them 'constantly being there.' Of all the work. I know it's a lot of work, etc.. but I can't exactly make my feelings go away. And yes, before you ask, we DID talk about this before we got married. I guess there's more to it, that would make sense in knowing. . .but that's where my question came from. Do parents who one or both aren't sure about them ever really HATE being a parent? Like would you undo it if you could? or once you have them, are you okay? I would never want to force my husband into 'giving in' and having a kid that he'd regret. That's one of his fears, and frankly, mine too. I am pretty confident that I wouldn't regret it.. but I'm afraid he might, cause that's what he's told me he fears. Does this make any sense?

42

How many of you know you want children or knew you wanted children before ?

by sandy in

jw
friends

did you always know you wanted children?.

if so how did you feel after.. if you do not want children, why?.

i am not sure if i want children and i am interested in all your opinions.

Candlestick02

I'm interested to hear from those who weren't sure if they wanted to become parents but for one reason or another (spouse pressure or an 'oops') still had kids. Did you ever regret you had them? How many parents will ever admit that (other than the one post earlier on that couple in their 40's who jumped on the kid-decision and now HE regrets it)?!

31

Going door to door in extreme weather

by JH in

jw
friends

this morning as i got up, it was 0 f outside.

this morning at 9 o'clock as usual the same witnesses will go door to door at this temperature.

i already saw them going door to door at -25 f. i wonder what it would take for them to say it is too cold or too hot to go out in the field service?

Candlestick02

Uhhh.. bread bags? what are you talking about? I did wear the layered thick socks, over my tights, and then had some long-Janes on, under my pants, and then under my dress. . . but I don't know what the bread bags were used for. Please enlighten me.

31

Going door to door in extreme weather

by JH in

jw
friends

this morning as i got up, it was 0 f outside.

this morning at 9 o'clock as usual the same witnesses will go door to door at this temperature.

i already saw them going door to door at -25 f. i wonder what it would take for them to say it is too cold or too hot to go out in the field service?

Candlestick02

LOL. Brings back the memories. I used to live in the Midwest. Cold, cold, freakin' cold weather. . . and there we were; numb toes, fingers, ears, noses. It was the worst. I remember trying to weasel out of going to Service and my mom, for some unknown reason (love?) wouldn't make me and my sister go. It helped that I was always catching a cold and lived on antibiotic for the greater part of the winters. Then as I got older I developed clever ways at trying to get out of service. . . a bad headache, cramps, etc.

At least though I do remember them cancelling the meetings when it was really bitter cold out. And that's only when it was like 40 below with the wind-chill. My dad, being an elder, would call the other elders and recommend that they cancel it. Thank God! It beat my mom suggesting I wear pants UNDER my skirt, in order to attend the meetings. Practically had to undress and then re-dress in the middle of the local bookstudy persons' house. So embarassing.

Anyway, this talk of going preaching reminded me too of another time when the 'young' ones in the hall were doing streetwork. I felt so bad for the people that we 'attacked' on that one street. I counted once about 20 people on that block, clumped in little groups.. Talking, moreso than preaching. I thought to myself 'geez, if this looks bad to me, no wonder people avoid us like the plague.' I got in my car and left. I went home and told my mom that it looked absolutely ridiculous. She, surprisingly, agreed. Nevertheless, she's still in the Borg. . .holding strong. . . and wishing strongly that I'd come back. Oh well.

Thanks for allowing me to reminisce. It's funny now!