sorry i've been mia for a while.
started a new job and i'm swamped.
i'm only taking out time now during lunch to get something off my chest.
Thanks Nina.
You're right. It's a very hot issue right now. I agree. I'll just keep my nose out of it. Not much I can really do.
(big sigh, just frustrating. Plus, yeah, it reminds me of the ridiculousness of the situation I went through now to long ago. Those wounds have healed..but this is dredging them all up again.)
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i am not sure if this is only a us holiday.. but if you work.. and have a secretary/adminstrative assistant, did you remember to get something today or plans to take him or her out to lunch????.
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Well Happy Administrative Professionals Day Purza! = )
(I got ours a card... Now I feel guilty cause we didn't do more. Woops!)
Candle
sorry i've been mia for a while.
started a new job and i'm swamped.
i'm only taking out time now during lunch to get something off my chest.
Hi All,
Sorry I've been MIA for a while. Started a new job and I'm swamped. I'm only taking out time now during lunch to get something off my chest. I've been out of the Borg for around 4 years now (the happiest ones ever), but my immediate family are still in. Last night I get a call (long-distance) from my mom. Her exact words 'I'm going to lose it... your dad did it again!' Now mind you, my dad USED to be an elder..for like 15 years. He stepped down a while ago (for economic reasons). Nevertheless still viewed in the cong. like one of the best teachers. (Yeah, if they only knew!) So, my mom is crying to me on the phone, because my knuckle-head dad signed a car-loan for someone (NOT a JW, just a friend), unbeknownst to my mom. Now WHY my dad did this is beyond me! He's been known to lie to my mom many times before, and we ALWAYS knew when things weren't right. She's fuming cause he did this AGAIN (not the 1st time he loaned money to this idiot) and he keeps covering up about it.
Anyway, while my mom was on the phone w/ me, she took another call and said she'd call me right back.. it was the elder. She calls me back and says they're gonna come (another elder with the 1st) to talk to them tonight. Now, WHAT on God's green earth are they going to tell my dad? Uh.. stop lying to your wife. Hello! They've gone through this before?! It's just SO ridiculous!
So, I ask to speak w/ my dad -- who is outside in the garage cause my mom won't let him in the house. He gives me his side of the story (which I don't buy)... and ends up (maybe) realizing what a stupid thing he did ... by keeping something like this from my mom, by lending money that they don't have (I swear, I can't for the life of me think how ANY bank would loan him money), by jeapordizing the financial well-being of HIS own family, etc.. He got emotional with me on the phone.. but I told him how I saw it. That even after all of the studying he's done from the Bible, I couldn't even think that someone without that knowledge, would do something that stupid (the lying, etc). (Aside: in all honesty, I really can't see anyone being that stupid, but I threw in their the comment of all his Bible knowledge to see if I struck some sort of cord with him.)
I guess the parts that sting me most are 1) the elders are going to come over and do what? they can't remedy the situation..my dad's lost it. Even HE said last night, 'yeah, I know..I think I need some professional help' (duh!); 2) my mom in her anger is resorting to violence with my dad (something that I doubt will come up at the elder conference they're having tonight, which coincidentally is the straw that broke the camel's back with me, and what made ME take off out of that house); 3) that my father is making these stupid decisions (probably to hide some even uglier truth about something; God knows what? I've contemplated an affair to cover-up; a homosexual interest; drugs?) and finally 4) that my dad said he was going to be in the garage in the morning and not wake up. What a great thing to say to your daughter... yeah, just tell me you're going to kill yourself.
I think they're both wacked... and I've strongly suggested they get professional help (together and separately)... I think my mom is FINALLY there..and willing to go. Please pray that she gain some insight from going and maybe will see that she doesn't have to live the way she is.. thinking the Society and the elders are going to give them the answers.
Sorry for the long post.. I just needed to get it off my chest with others who understand.
Candlestick...
friends, .
i'm putting this in the form of a question, but it should be apparent i'm a parent - and a bit too proud to keep this to myself.
i've been worried about college costs for my oldest son.
Gamaliel,
Congratulations to your son on receiving the scholarship to St. Josephs. I don't know firsthand about going to a Catholic school, as I was a 'good' JW when I was in school. Nor do I know about MIT. However, I received a full scholarship to Purdue and majored in Engineering. I also received a few other scholarships based on academic merit, funded by certain Hispanic organizations. It helped that I was a good student, a female, a "minority" and also going into a predominantly male career. I would say have your son apply to as many scholarships as he can. Also, look into the school itself. Purdue also gave me a scholarship and it had nothing to do with what I was pursuing (career-wise). It was just one of many they bestow based on high test (SAT or ACT) scores.
Good luck!
Cindy
the next day was going to be tough.
i had to do kind of a portfolio check session with the illustrators and work on some photo retouching for an up coming italian awake magazine and work with someone from the graphics department on the miniaturization issue.
as i walked around a little bit i noticed a large hell scanner sitting in a room with a plastic tarp over it.
Excellent reading! 
I've been hooked reading for the last hour. Thankfully I haven't had to wait for the delays, since I started reading it just now..
Anxiously waiting to read part 5. I've got my tissue box at hand.
Candlestick
victorian sky has a great thread on music.
http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/12/57646/1.ashx.
it got me thinking, about tv shows, anything in particular you were told not to watch, being a little kid in the 70's i do remember hearing shows from the platform that we should not watch.
I grew up in the 80's, 90's. So, I remember first my mom would get pissed if we'd watch music videos. You know, Madonna, Cyndi Lauper, Michael Jackson. . .
Then when were like teenagers she wouldn't let us watch 90210.
Friends: "too many sexual innuendos"
We had to watch Fulls House and the show with Irkle.
dear friends:.
what a pleasure it has been to browse this website over the past couple of years...first as a lurker and then as a member.
i now intend to "come out of the closet"...blow my cover and tell you my story (and i'm sticking to it!).
Thanks HadEnuf. Yes, I truly did find another good man. He's absolutely wonderful and taught me that I could love again. Most importantly he saw that I wasn't the 'judmental' person that the JW's were supposed to make me be.. and I saw him for him. This whole experience really helped make my transition out of the borg.
LeslieV: Thanks. I DO feel welcome here. I really enjoy the company of others who can relate and who can sympathize and/or empathize, cause they've been there too, or cause they've lived similar or worse circumstances.
Drwtsn32: Yeah, it sucked that I had to live through all of that. . . cause believe me, I haven't even begun to tell you some of the stories. . . BUT, I'm happy that I overcame them . . .because I wouldn't be where I'm at now.
Good thread.
dear friends:.
what a pleasure it has been to browse this website over the past couple of years...first as a lurker and then as a member.
i now intend to "come out of the closet"...blow my cover and tell you my story (and i'm sticking to it!).
SheilaM: Fast foward in the story to a few years later when I was a good JW again. I was practicing, following, trying to 'learn' from what had happened. I still hadn't gotten it yet. Then I met someone ELSE. Hmm.. a repeat of the last story, except this time I became firm and vowed that I wouldn't lose out on happiness again. I had to go through hell and high water, but eventually this time I made it through. With someone else who loved me and just wanted me to be happy and who DIDN'T leave me to go through that hell alone. Now we're married!! x a million! (tears of happiness)
Found out years later -- after I had met my now-husband -- that the first boyfriend had gotten married.. AND divorced. He came 'looking for me' then, by it was too late...I had met someone else that I now loved and couldn't leave. That was sad. But, we make our decisions and live with them. I had moved on. He'll always have a piece of my heart though. He was a great guy and I wish him nothing but happiness.
dear friends:.
what a pleasure it has been to browse this website over the past couple of years...first as a lurker and then as a member.
i now intend to "come out of the closet"...blow my cover and tell you my story (and i'm sticking to it!).
Cathy,
Glad you're out! Good for you!!
Boy, did your story ring true to me. I was 19 years old, born-in, and was one of those few kids who was ...OMG .. going to the local University (thanks to a scholarship), when I met this nice young man, around 24 (single, cute and very distinguished, white collared) guy. He took a liking to me, but, me being the good JW that I was, I knew I wasn't supposed to date him. Turns out our families knew each other from YEARS before (like 20 yrs) my mom studied w/ his mom. Well, he remembered vaguely some of the teachings and was curious, so began to ask me questions. I GLADLY would give him the typical JW response and pretty soon he was interested in studying w/ the dubs. I knew he did in PART cause he was trying to get closer to me, but as God is my witness, I REALLY have no doubt that he was very sincere in his interest in learning more about the JW's. So, he started studying, attending all the meetings, progressing pretty well. Commenting, the whole 9 yards. Long story short, before long he and I were dating and then surprising us both -- we fell SO in love. He was the sweetest thing ever. He LIVED for and really made me happy!! (I was quite in shock about the whole thing. I wasn't even considering that it would happen like it did, but it was the greatest!)
Anyway, we kept our relationship somewhat 'secret'.. but my parents knew, and although they weren't thrilled at first, even THEY realized that he was genuine and really was making me very happy. So, they let our relationship continue (sometimes I would manage to get out of the house without a chaperone, yay! ) -- and then HE started to want to be more PUBLIC with our relationship. He didn't understand why I wanted to keep it 'secret'. He told me 'I don't want to hide us.. this is the best thing that's ever happened to me.' Umm.. poor thing... I told you he was sincere. Anyway, so, he and I made the decision that we wouldn't hide anymore about it. Our plan was: he would --hold on to your seats everyone -- sit NEXT to me at the KH. Well, that was it. The next week I had the elders calling on the family for a shepherding visit. Got told that I wasn't supposed to see him, cause he was an "unbeliever". . . 'Yet he's studying', I would say.. 'Yes', they would say, 'and that's good, and we're so proud of his progress, but until he's a baptized brother, you really shouldn't get involved with him. You need to know that he's a spiritual brother for you.' Okay, so we tried breaking up -- me, listening to the counsel. . .that I HATED and that he didn't understand. That lasted a couple of days. We couldn't stand to be apart. So then we continued dating.
We were pretty convinced that we just were perfect together, and that even Jehovah would 'understand' and cut us some slack. Anyway, a couple weeks later about an hour before the School and Svc Mtg one of the elders calls. Talks to my dad (an ex-elder, but still held in high regard in the cong.).. says 'Brother X, I just wanted to call you and tell you that in the Svc mtg we're gonna do a talk on the local needs of the cong. and it's gonna be about your daughter dating XXX., just thought you'd like to know so that it doesn't catch you off guard.' Uh, yeah, thanks for the call.
So, my boyfriend comes to pick me up.. to go to the hall. He doesn't know what's gonna be said. I do. So, we're driving there.. I tell him: 'you know, let's not go to the mtg tonight, let's go somewhere else... ' He, the NEW Jdub in training says 'no, come on. you're being silly.. why shouldn't we go?' Ugh.. it didn't work.. so I have to tell him. I said that the elder had called and what they told us. He's like 'alright.. so I want to hear them.' So, we go in there.. defying them to talk about ME.. and sure enough.. they do. I'm "marked" now! I remember that talk like it was yesterday. My boyfriend sat there, holding my hand and glancind over to look at me to see if I was okay. After the mtg you'd think I caught the plague. I wasn't disfellowshipped.. but they were all acting like I was. We (the whole family and me and my b/f) just walked out. We were all getting the same treatment.
Anyway, long story short.. there was more that transpired, but I'll save the gory details. . . the elders eventually won. My boyfriend broke it off with me. All I can remember about that time was that the pain was immense. He was my life. We had talked about marriage. We had a pure and clean relationship. He NEVER asked me to do anything that would be disrespectful (unlike some of the Witnesses I dated -- before and after him), because he was respectful of me. He broke up with me because he said he couldn't see my relationship with God suffer and him be the cause. He said he loved me more than anything and because of that, would not take that away from me. Yup, the JW's pushed this guy away and I wanted to crawl under a rock and die.
The good thing is that he didn't continue studying. So, it saved him from getting caught in the Borg. But, it left me destroyed and poisoned on love for a long time.
Yeah, what a nice thing to walk away from. I'm thankful all the time that I don't belong to that organization that can do this to good people.
Candlestick
what is the stupidest thing a jw ever told you?
we all know that they say a lot of stupid things, but what really topped the cake?.
for me, it was an elder telling me i was progressing really well when my meeting attendance was down and my field service hours were slipping.
One that sticks out is when I was getting counseled by the young 30-something elder's wife.. (I was dating my now husband).. 'you know, if you date a WORDLY guy, they might ask things of you that we as Christians aren't supposed to do. Like celebrate holidays, go to worldly parties, even participate in things in the bedroom that for us are off-limits, like oral sex!' (she practically whispered the words) LOL! Little did she know he didn't have to twist my arm. Oh wait.. wrong body part. (sheepish grin)
