There were a number of things over a period of time. For a number of years I just hadn't been happy. One thing that really stands out in my mind is been stuck at home on a Saturday night with no friends. I felt even more isolated and intimidated if I tried to get worldly friends, and to be honest I wasn't really into the drinking screen.
20-25 years latter I was given a private reproof for an incident I had in my life. I deeply regret having said anything to the elders about this, but this was probably the catalysist that has brought me to this point. Although it was a private reproof, I felt it was the exact opposite. I had elders spying on me at the hall, embarrasing me by halling me into the back room in full view of the congregation after the meeting - even though i told them i wanted it to be done in a private home out of sight of the congregation. I felt this was been gossiped about although I had never said anything to anybody, and with in a month and a half i had a family member ask me what I had done wrong. I found this troubleing and upsetting. In the end just walking in the front door of the KH just stressed me out. I was literally forced to act before I either ended up having a mental break down or waited for them to DF me. DFing isn't an option for me as this would just isolate me even further and would antagonise the situation.
while on the PR. There was a question that really bothered me. I always believed that witnesses had a really low divorce rate because we applied Gods word in our lives. I thought if this was so then why hasn't the society come out and said something or attempted to get data to prove this to be so. I have a work colleague who is a born again Christian and we got onto this subject one day. He mentioned to me that that there is no difference in the divorce rate between born again Christians and none Christians. I proudly said that witnesses have a very low divorce rate and his reply was "I think you would be surprised. I wnt home that night to prove to him wrong. I googled it up came JWFacts, and from their it just snow balled. I did a few calculatons comparing the national divorce rate to the amount i had seen in my congregation, and low and behold it was just sky rocketing. To be honest although been a witness for decades I was just amazed at what I didn't know. What I find particularly frustrating is just how in the dark or how unwilling they are to except hard proof.
So far it has been a couple of months since I have been to the meeting or filed a FS report. Not one congregation member has bothered to phone or come around and see me. Thankfully the elders haven't turned up either. So I guess this goes to show (after decades of service and a long family history with the religion)how much of a priority I am to them. Anyway this makes it easier for me to leave. I'm through with them.