Hi: It's not easy filling a huge 25 year gap in ones life after you leave the WT. The Mrs. and I pretty well faded out before we made our stand official. Mrs. was a born in but, most of her extended family in the WT started shunning us at least ten years before we made it official with letters of resignation. To this day I don't know why the shunning started so early on. It's not like we were bad people doing awful things. I went to college. Mrs. started her own small business and later pursued a carreer in management. Mrs. has been fighting for her life with an awful cancer for the past seven months. Her Mom, a witness in Kansas finally came around after many years of no contact recently. Her DF Dad tried and failed in his attempt to be human when his daughter became gravely ill. Two of her three sisters also came out of hiding from us. One sister is not a witness so that was easy for her. Another is trying to be a witness and struggled a bit. To answer the question, is it all that bad? No not really. If you are willing to move on, make new friends, sacrifice some extended family, and get involved in other productive things, move on, make it so. It's not as bad as one might think. I have had my plate full taking care of Mrs. C. Sorry for not keeping you all in the loop. Mrs. has had seven months of harsh cancer treatments that have nearly killed her. The primary source of the cancer is gone. There is some question about the lungs being involved. Another PET scan in three weeks should tell the story. Mrs. C. has had 26 blood transfusions. If she was a witness she would be dead by now for months. Think about being a witness and the costs....are you willing to die for it?
Thechickennest
JoinedPosts by Thechickennest
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Is Being Disfellowshipped or Disassociated All That Bad?
by minimus inmost jws dread the thought of never being talked to again by a fellow "brother" or "sister".
the thought of being shunned by your flesh and blood keeps many witnesses in the religion.. is df'ing or dissasociation all that terrible?
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Update: Mrs. Chickennest's cancer
by Thechickennest inmy dear wife has undergone three rounds of chemotherapy as an inpatient at the mayo clinic in the past two months.
we are returning to minnesota/mayo clinic this saturday.
she will begin seven weeks of chemotherapy/radiation.
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Thechickennest
Thank you all for your comments and kind words. We had a safe and uneventful trip of about 700 miles to the Mayo Clinic from our home is western South Dakota. Gary B: I almost contacted you last night. We stayed in Sioux Falls. Maybe one of the next times for sure.
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Update: Mrs. Chickennest's cancer
by Thechickennest inmy dear wife has undergone three rounds of chemotherapy as an inpatient at the mayo clinic in the past two months.
we are returning to minnesota/mayo clinic this saturday.
she will begin seven weeks of chemotherapy/radiation.
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Thechickennest
My dear wife has undergone three rounds of chemotherapy as an inpatient at the Mayo Clinic in the past two months. We are returning to Minnesota/Mayo Clinic this Saturday. She will begin seven weeks of chemotherapy/radiation. She is forty four years old. She has a very rare and lethal cancer. It has spread to her lung and the nodes in her neck along the way. The good news is she has responded well to the treatment. Her latest PET scan showed the nodes to be clear of the cancer and the tumors in her sinuses and lung have reduced in size considerably. Mayo is going for a cure. Mrs. C. is very positive and feeling well in spite of the harsh chemotherapy and remaining cancer. It's a miracle really.
Since leaving JW's we have become very active in the community. Now the community has been behind her 110% with fundraisers, visits, prayers, meals brought in, etc. It's been a good lesson for us in humanity that we did not see to this extent with the JW's. They preach it, but it's so conditional its a lost effort. I wish more JW's could see that they are living a lie. JW's care about no one and espessially not for non-JW's. Mrs C. has seven siblings and two parents. They all hang to the old JW ways in a large way, even the ones that don't practice it anymore. She has received the support of one younger sister.....the rest are all a lost cause. Talk about selfishness.
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As a JW Did you Feel you Could Fully Trust the Elders ?
by flipper ini know for many of the 44 years i was in the jw cult from birth - i felt i could.
or should i say i was conditioned to feel that " i should " trust the elders.
as jehovah's witnesses we were all told the elders were " crags in a waterless country " who would be a " spiritual stronghold " for us.
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Thechickennest
I trust people in general. So being the good JW yes, I trusted the Elders....Then two Elders (from a judicial committe) called me on the phone one day to discuss the private business ethics of the PO. As it turns out the PO was an unsavory business man and of questionable moral charactor according to this committee. The PO stepped down as PO and an elder. He dodged a huge bullet. I don't know how, but I think on legal grounds they couldn't touch him. He really should have got the boot. No, from that point forward my eyes were open. I could then realize the elders were just humans with sins just like the rest of us.
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Mrs.Chickennest has cancer
by Thechickennest inmy wife and i learned this week that she is suffering from a large malignant tumor in her sinuses.
the cancer has spread to her lymth nodes and the pet scan indicates a mass on her left lung as well.
the sinus cancer is called sinonasal undifferentiated carcinoma.
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Thechickennest
Thank you all very much for your kind words and thoughts. Yes, Mouthy please carry on, we appreciate any all prayers. Thanks Hortensia. I will let you know the outcome. Everyone, I am so appreciative of all the suggestions and help.
We are at the Mayo Clinic now. Mrs. C is in the Hospital for pain control. Will know more tomorrow how we are going to proceed.
Her JW family is a PIA.
I'll check back in later.
Chickennest
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Mrs.Chickennest has cancer
by Thechickennest inmy wife and i learned this week that she is suffering from a large malignant tumor in her sinuses.
the cancer has spread to her lymth nodes and the pet scan indicates a mass on her left lung as well.
the sinus cancer is called sinonasal undifferentiated carcinoma.
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Thechickennest
My wife and I learned this week that she is suffering from a large malignant tumor in her sinuses. The cancer has spread to her lymth nodes and the PET scan indicates a mass on her left lung as well. The sinus cancer is called sinonasal undifferentiated carcinoma. The lung cancer type is yet to be determined by biopsy. We are devasted. We have been married for 26 years and we were best friends five years before that.
We are leaving for the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minnesota on Monday. The tumor in her sinuses in inoperable and treatable with radiation and chemotherepy only. While there are becoming more success stories in dealing with this rare and fast growing type of cancer, the prognosis is generally not good.
Her JW mother sent her a card. First contact in twelve years. Her disfellowshipped father showed up at the hospital with the stepmother. It was a disaster. I had to kick them out. She has seven siblings. Three of them have made contact with her for the first time in many years. One is an inactive witness and the two are not witnesses. Ran into a local witness at a department store today. He actually greeted me. I was shocked.
Keep us in your thoughts or/and prayers if you wish.
Anyone out there that has had this type of cancer? How was it treated? Any ideas?
Thank you.
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Are JWS really cheap or poor?
by heyfea inone thing i've noticed in all the congs.
let's say that a couple in the cong.
gets married and they choose to have a party at a caters.
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Thechickennest
Not Cheap or Poor...JW's are greedy. They are always thinking of ways to work less and earn more at the same time. I knew a sister that stole salt and pepper packets from the cafe where she worked and also at all the places we took breaks at. If that was not enough, one time when she had us over for dinner she got out the loot of packets and ask us to tear them open and put the salt and pepper in her shakers! We did.
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Thechickennest
Congrats on the baby.
I say giv'm hell every chance you get! Way to go.
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Thechickennest
Thanks for sharing Grace. It was bright spot in what I thought was just another ordinary day!
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Two nice christian ladys want to mentor me ........
by troubled mind ini have met some very nice people at a local methodist church during one of our conversations a woman told me they offer a program called soul care for anyone going through a tough time .it is a program to encourage basically .
when i told her i felt i had lost my whole social community since leaving the jw's she offered to mentor me in this program .
we had a first meeting to kind of get to know each other .....it just felt so weird, like being the householder on the other side of our bible study program we did as witnesses .
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Thechickennest
I returned to Methodism after 25 years of being a witness. I was a baptised and confirmed Methodist. Never resigned to become a witness. Anyway, the big picture with the Methodists is grace and acceptance of all that wish to worship god. Don't worry about the doctrine. It rarely ever comes up in the sermons or bible studies. You don't need these ladies. They are good hearted in what they are doing however, they are going to discourage you. Take the new church on your own terms and go slowly. It took me about three years to settle back down in the church. Enjoy the fellowship, love, and acceptance and let it go at that.